Andrew roughly wiped his mouth. “If you think I’m letting Enrico send you to Italy now, carrying my kid, you’re out of your mind. There is no way in hell that’s happening.”
Gwen snickered. “Inferno does mean hell in Italian.” She clarified when he stared blankly at her.
“The Divine Comedy. Maybe Dante was in a long-distance relationship.”
Even after an emergency biopsy that might cause a disastrous complication, her humor was sharp and poignant.
“It won’t come to that, Gwen. I’m prepared to quit if it does. You’ll be more valuable to Enrico in New York, if I’m not there.”
“Do you see what a mess I’ve caused?” She threw her hands up. “Wait, when did you make that decision?”
“When you left Milan.” A look passed between them. “I made a lot of decisions that week. And I didn’t even know about...”
“I’m so sorry.” She looked down and played with her chopsticks.
“Please stop apologizing.”
“I can’t eat any more of this.” She got up from the small drop-leaf table and dug into the exact right cabinet for a plastic container.
Andrew released a slow whirl of laughter. “You sure know your way around here.”
“It hasn’t been fun staying here by myself,” she said leaning against the counter with her back turned.
That burned him. He couldn’t be with her because of Marcello.
“I need to lie down.” Without looking at him, she disappeared into the hallway leading to the bedroom.
He stepped into the bathroom to find her brushing her teeth with a toothbrush that wasn’t his. A visual sweep of the counter revealed all the things she’d purchased and kept there. All good signs, but something was going on in her head. Something darker.
“Gwen, I need to do some work. I lost a lot of time today.”
With cold eyes, she said, “Sorry about that.”
“Stop apologizing already.” Good going. Yell at the mother of your child, because she’s upset about her health. “I’m... I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell.”
Gwen pushed past him and slammed the bedroom door. With him on the wrong side. Angry and frustrated, he stomped to his desk and fired up his laptop. Hours dragged by and his eyes grew tired.
He woke up in the middle of the night, his head on his desk. A startling fear pulsed through him.
He rushed to the bedroom and opened the door. Gwen’s body under the covers settled his heartbeat.
While it would have driven the sanity right out of him, he wouldn’t have been surprised if she’d crept away while he was passed out.
How had so much gone so wrong in such a short amount of time?
He brushed his teeth and undressed using the light of the bathroom. Wearing only his boxers, he slipped into the bed. And waited. He sensed she was awake and hoped she would roll into him. Let him apologize properly.
Nothing. Not a stir. Empty sheets between them.
This wasn’t how he envisioned their first night in his bed together would go. He wanted her panting and writhing beneath him. Instead, she was shattered and broken, clinging to the other side so she didn’t fall off.
The hard and traumatic events of the day should have made him toss and turn, except he passed out and woke when the sun peeked through the bedroom curtains.
This time Gwen wasn’t next to him.
With what felt like one blood-shot eye, Andrew found her getting dressed.
CHAPTER THIRTY
here do you think you’re going?” Andrew asked Gwen as she rolled on a pair of day-old
“W
stockings.
“Home,” she answered emotionless.
“You are home.” He pushed the covers away.
“This is an apartment. Not a home.”
“And your empty house is a home?”
She stopped and shot angry eyes at him.
Jesus! What was wrong with him? “I didn’t mean it like that.” He bent down in front of her.
“Gwen, please just stay here.”
“I have some serious thinking to do.”
That jolted him. “Thinking about what?”
“Everything.” She stood and grabbed her wrinkled dress. “Do you want to be a widower again?”
The question sent blood boiling through his veins. “This is different. Okay. You’re going to be fine. We don’t even know...” He couldn’t finish when the breath in his lungs gave out. What if she were right?
“Exactly. We don’t know. And until we do, this...” She pointed to him. “Is on hold.”
“On hold?” He got to his feet and grabbed her arm. “You’re having my baby and I love you. I’m not putting anything on hold.”
She blinked and said nothing. It took a moment for him to realize why she couldn’t speak. He’d just told her he loved her. Damn it! He wanted to do it with the ring in his hand, which he planned to pick up later that morning. Her not returning the sentiment, made his heart ache.
“Please...” He had trouble breathing. “Just...give me a few hours to get all of this straightened out.
Okay, Cate please?”
Through heavy breathing bordering on what looked like sobs, Gwen said through clenched teeth,
“You just called me Cate.”
“I... I did?” Uh-oh.
“Yes.” She yanked one boot on and grabbed the other.
He caught her wrist so she wouldn’t fall. “I didn’t mean for that to happen.”
“I will not wreck your life.” She began throwing everything she brought with her the night before into a pile.
“Whoa? Where did that come from?” He blocked her body from leaving the bedroom. “Stop.
Let’s talk about this. You have not wrecked my life. I’m right where I want to be, Gwen. With you.”
“Oh yeah?” She spun on her heels and walked to his closet. From inside, she grabbed a golf club and jabbed at the hat box he’d tucked away. After two pokes it popped off the shelf, tumbled over, and all its contents poured down.
“I don’t want to be another woman you have to tuck away in a box,” she said half angry, half sad.
Andrew’s eyes blinked, looking at the mess. But he said nothing. Shaking, he bent down to pick up the pieces of his life she just let spill on the floor. The room began to spin. His ankles gave out and he sank to the parquet floor.
He caught Gwen staring at him. She’d turned white.
“Oh my God. Andrew, I’m so sorry. Please, let me clean this up.” She grabbed his wrists, but he wrenched away from her.
Papers and photos crumpled in his shaking hands until he threw them all down again. He stood and stomped out of the bedroom. In his living room, he tried to collect his frazzled thoughts, but she whirled in behind him.
“I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m just confused. I saw pictures of the perfect life you had with Cate, and all I could think was...” She looked down. “I just don’t understand.”
“Don’t understand what?” he asked through gnashed teeth.
“Why you want to be with me.” She sniffed. “It’s why I didn’t tell you about the baby right away. I knew you’d do the right thing. How will I ever know if you really want me? For me? ”