“Okay.” I wrap my arms around the back of his neck and peer around at the dark room lit up by only one candle. “I guess I should take a shower then, and then feed …” A rumble vibrates in my chest at the idea of feeding off them, but it’s rapidly squashed as I realize I’m going to have to shower in here, by myself, in the dark.
“You sound worried,” he notes with a crease between his brow. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing.”
“It’s something, so please just tell me. Maybe I can make it better.”
“I just don’t like the dark,” I divulge. “I’m honestly not even sure why. It’s just been a phobia of mine for a while.”
“I could bring more candles in,” he suggests.
While I appreciate the offer, I don’t think it’ll help that much unless he puts like a hundred in here.
“Or,” he adds, “I could get in with you.”
My jaw nearly smacks the floor. “You want to shower with me?”
“Just to keep an eye on you,” he stresses, his lips quirking. “I promise to be on my best behavior.”
In all actuality, I believe him, but that doesn’t mean I feel totally at ease about the idea of showering with him. Still, I feel more uneasy about showering in this dark room alone.
“Okay.”
His brows spring upward. “Seriously?” When I nod again, he says, “You must really be afraid of the dark.”
I just offer him a tight smile, which elicits a frown from him.
“Let’s make it quick,” he tells me. Then he steps back, twines our fingers together, and leads me to the shower. There, he opens the door, steps inside, and turns on the water. He lets it run for a moment before pulling me into the shower and closing the door.
Warmth and steam fill up the air. I’ve gotten used to being cold, but I find myself basking in the feel of the steam and mist caressing my skin.
Alex draws me closer to him and positions me beneath the showerhead. Then he reaches for a bottle of what I think is shampoo on a shelf in the corner.
Instead of handing it to me, he puts a dollop of shampoo into the palm of his hand then reaches for my hair.
“You’re going to wash my hair?” I ask as water rolls down my body, making me hyperaware that I’m naked from the waist up.
He nods. “If you’ll let me.”
I assess him dubiously then nod.
He cracks a small smile then begins lathering my hair, his fingers like a gentle massage against my scalp. As my eyelids lower, I reach out, grabbing his sides. His muscles fleetingly constrict but then they unwind as he finishes shampooing my hair.
After that, he combs his fingers through my hair and whispers, “Tip your head back, baby.”
I do as he instructs, reaching out blindly as I feel like I’m going to fall, but he slips an arm underneath my neck to support me then rinses the shampoo out of my hair, remaining quiet. Once he’s done, he straightens me back up, and my eyes flutter open just as he grabs a bottle of body wash.
He hands it to me, saying, “As much as I’d love to wash your body, I think that’d be the final tug of my self-control.”
Raking my teeth along my bottom lip, I open the bottle, put a few drops of body wash into my hands, and then start scrubbing my body.
His eyes drop down to my chest, and his nostrils flare. “Shit, shit, shit.” He blinks then rubs his eyes with the heels of his hands before stumbling back and reaching to push the door open.
“I have to step out for a second,” he says in a rush.
And that’s when the panic slams into me like a kick to the gut, memories flashing in my mind.
“Let me out, please,” I beg as I sit in the cage, the bars cold against my back.
The room is dark, and the air is heavy. I’m not sure how long I’ve been here, but it feels like weeks.
“Please,” I whisper, tears cascading down my face.
“Shh … my little dove,” a voice emerges through the darkness. One that’s more frightening than the idea that I’ll be stuck in this cage for longer.
I hear shuffling, and then fingers touch my cheek, wiping the tears away.
“One day,” he says, “you’ll be so used to the darkness and loneliness that it’ll bleed through you more familiar than your own blood. You’ll thrive on it—the loneliness—and that’s exactly what I want.”
“No, I won’t!” I cry. “I hate the dark.”
“Every creature hates the thing they love the most at one point or another,” he replies. “You’ll learn that eventually.”
“No, I won’t,” I tell him, and then I hear him leaving.
“Don’t leave!” I shout, pounding my fist against the bars. “Come back!”
Reality hits me then, sharp and unbearable. He might be right. While I hate him, I want him back, because I’d rather be sitting in here in the dark with him than all alone—
I gasp, flailing my arms around.
“Relax, baby,” Alex’s voice reaches for me in the darkness. “I think you’re having a panic attack, but I’ve got you. You’re not alone, and you’re not in the dark. Try to focus on that, on getting to the light.”
I do as he instructs, my mind reaching past the darkness. Slowly, my surroundings return to me. I’m no longer in the shower, but lying in a bed, the glow of candlelight twinkling around the room. Alex is leaning over me, his face a shadow as he holds me against him.
“Is she awake?” I hear Jaxon say.
Alex stares down at me. “She was always awake. She just got lost in her own fear.”
He’s so right it’s terrifying.
“I’m sorry,” he apologizes. “I shouldn’t have stepped out of the shower.”
“You’re fine.” My voice sounds so feeble it’s cringeworthy.
Wisps of his damp hair fall into his eyes as he dips his head, his gaze searching mine. “Where did your mind go?”
“I …” I trail off, trying to sift through my thoughts.
I still have no idea why I’m suddenly seeing these memories … If they’re even that. And I planned on waiting to tell the guys until I got more information from them. But at the moment, it almost feels imperative that I tell them, mostly because I’m fucking scared of the shit I’m seeing.
And I hate being afraid.
“I’ve been seeing things,” I start, slowly sitting up.
Someone has wrapped a blanket around my mostly naked body, and I pull it around myself tighter as I sit on the bed beside Alex. Jaxon is at the foot of the bed, watching me intently, and Blaise is just to my right, his hands clenched into tight fists.
“Like hallucinations?” Blaise asks curiously.
I shrug. “I don’t know. They could be, I guess. But they feel real, almost like memories I’ve forgotten.”
Alex stretches an arm out behind me as he slants back. “Your memories have always been a bit questionable, right?”
Wetting my dry lips with my tongue, I nod. “Yeah, but this is different.” A shiver snakes down my spine, and not the good kind. “It’s like I’ve lived another life where I’m running through burning forests and being locked in cages in the dark, but I can’t put together all the pieces enough to figure out what the fuck any of it is.”