But just because it wasn’t going to be a life-or-death thing didn’t mean he wasn’t working his ass off. It wasn’t until late last night that he was even certain he’d have this afternoon off.
Ashlyn had been looking forward to him meeting some of her clients, and even though she would’ve understood if he’d had to cancel, she was relieved he was still able to come with her. Regardless, she couldn’t help but say, “If you’d rather not go so you can take a nap or something, I’ll understand.”
They were standing in the parking lot near Food For All, where she’d met him after lunch to continue her delivery route. Slate walked up to her and put his hands on either side of her head. “I’ve been looking forward to this for a while now. All the stories you’ve told me about your clients have hooked me. I want to come with you, Ash.”
“Okay,” she said with a huge smile.
He stared at her for a long moment before slowly lowering his head. “I haven’t said hello properly, have I?” he asked. He didn’t give her a chance to answer before his lips were on hers. Unlike some of their kisses, this one was slow and lazy, but it still had Ashlyn squirming.
“Now I’m ready to go,” he said after lifting his head and licking his lips as if trying to capture her taste.
“And I’m horny as hell,” Ashlyn mumbled. She was rewarded by Slate’s chuckle. He walked around to the driver’s side of her RAV4 and opened the door for her. She got settled in behind the wheel and watched Slate as he strode around the car to the other side.
Once he was in and had buckled his seat belt, he said, “Drive on, James.”
Ashlyn rolled her eyes. “You’re a dork,” she told him as she started the car.
He simply grinned.
After she’d pulled out and they were on their way, she asked, “Does it bother you that I’m driving?”
“Why would it?” he asked, the confusion easy to hear in his voice.
“Well, men like you seem to like to be in charge all the time. In control. And letting a woman drive seems to go against that.”
“I don’t give a shit if you drive,” he said easily. “There are times when I like to be in charge, and I can’t deny that I’ve got a tiny bit of a control issue. But I’ve seen you drive, babe. You’re careful and not reckless. You don’t speed and you’ve never honked your horn in anger at anyone. I know those things don’t make you immune to accidents, but I’m comfortable with you driving.”
Some women might not find his comments terribly important, but Ashlyn felt as if she’d passed some momentous test. It was silly, she was just driving, for goodness sake, but still. “Thanks,” she said after a moment. “I’ve always thought it was crazy that a man thinks he’s safer in a car when he’s driving.”
Slate smiled at her. “So, where are we going first?”
“The Turners. Trey is probably at work, but Brooklyn will be there with her little ones.”
“The kids are two and three, right?” Slate asked.
Pleased he’d remembered, Ashlyn nodded. “Yup. And they’re definitely a handful.”
“You want kids?” Slate asked.
Ashlyn’s eyes widened and she glanced over at him.
He laughed. “Relax. That wasn’t an invitation. I’m just curious.”
She breathed out a sigh of relief. “I guess so.”
“Hmmm, that doesn’t really sound like a yes to me,” Slate noted.
Ashlyn shrugged. “It’s not that I don’t like kids. I do. But so far, I’ve never had a huge urge to have my own. Maybe that makes me selfish, but I like my life. I see Brooklyn, or Jazmin, or other parents on my route, and I see how hard they’re struggling and how exhausted they always are, and it doesn’t exactly make me anxious to enter motherhood myself.”
“You don’t think they’re happy with their kids?” Slate asked.
“It’s not that. They love their children, that’s obvious. And I’d probably feel different if I had my own, but for now, I just don’t feel that huge pull.” She shrugged again, struggling to find the right words. “It’s hard to explain.”
“No, you’re explaining it just fine. And for the record, I don’t think you’re selfish. Having children is a huge commitment. It takes time, a lot of effort, and yes, money. Not to mention the world is a scary place, and seems to be getting scarier with every day that passes. I understand.”
Ashlyn glanced over at him. “What’s your stance on kids?” She couldn’t believe she’d gotten up the gumption to ask. But then again, he’d started the conversation.
“About the same as you. My reticence is more because I’d hate to leave a child fatherless if something happened to me. I’m good at my job, and I have five of the best men I could ask for at my back, but when your time is up, it’s up. I wouldn’t want a child of mine to have to deal with my death.”
“But you won’t always be a SEAL,” Ashlyn pointed out.
“True. And my feelings on having children might change once I’m out.” It was his turn to shrug.
They were silent for a while as Ashlyn drove.
“For what it’s worth, I think you’d make a great mother,” Slate said. “You’d find a way to make things work out if you had a kid. I’m guessing you’d probably strap him or her in a car seat and continue right on with your deliveries, charming the hell out of all your clients.”
She smiled. “Thanks. And the same back at you. You’d be an awesome dad. I have a feeling you’d be totally hands-on and any child of yours would be a mini-you. Following you around and wanting to be just like their daddy.”
Slate didn’t respond, just reached for her hand. He squeezed it gently, then kept hold as they drove.
This was what Ashlyn had wanted in a relationship all her life. Someone she could be honest with, who would be a true partner, who she connected with sexually…and who could make her feel all tingly inside by simply holding her hand.
She held back an ironic sigh. Figures she’d find exactly what she wished for with a man she was only seeing casually.
Ten minutes later, she pulled onto the street where the Turners lived. She parked in front of their house and cut the engine. She and Slate climbed out of the car after she popped the hatch on the back. Slate grabbed the box with the meals and followed behind her as she walked up to the front door.
She knocked softly, not wanting to wake the kids if they were napping, but the excited screech from inside let her know they definitely weren’t asleep.
Brooklyn opened the door, joining them on the porch when Briar and Curtis toddled out and grabbed onto Ashlyn’s legs.
“Ash!” the little boy said with a huge smile.
His sister didn’t say anything, just tilted her head up and grinned.
“Hey, kiddos! You doing good today?” Ashlyn asked.
The toddlers didn’t answer, not that she expected them to. Ashlyn looked at their mom—and swallowed a chuckle at the way she was staring at Slate. He still had on the uniform he’d worn to work that morning, and he’d started growing his beard out a bit. He’d said it was in preparation for the mission they’d be leaving for in a few days; that in many places, a beard helped him blend in with the locals. But for now, it just made him even more gorgeous.