Her smile widens. "I’m always worried about you, King, haven’t you realized that?"
Fucking hell, I’ve never paid much attention to the fact that the media calls me King but hearing it from her mouth makes me feel like King of the fucking world! A-n-d goddamn, I’m in so much trouble. She’s standing naked…and dripping, in front of me, and other than that first glance when I consumed the sight of her nude body, I’ve managed to keep my gaze firmly on her face and my hands to myself… It’s a measure of the restraint I’ve imposed on myself. A measure of how much I’ve begun to care about her.
'Course there’s nothing I can do about my dick, which is insistent it wants to be happily ensconced within her, but I’m not my dick, for once. A-n-d if that doesn’t prove I have feelings for her, I don’t know what does. It’s strange, huh? When I thought I hated her, I couldn’t wait to use her body to punish her. Now that I know she means more to me than what I’d originally thought, I can’t bring myself to touch her. It’s as if, by caressing her now, I run the risk of my emotions making the entire experience so much more profound. I run the risk of the entire experience meaning so much more to me. I face the possibility that I’ll want to tie her to me in a way that goes against every principle by which I’ve lived my life. That’s not something I’m ready for. Not yet. I take a step back. “I worry about you, too.”
She blinks. “You...you do?”
I nod. “And I worry about how your brother is going to react when he finds out about how I’ve treated you so far.”
“Oh, he doesn’t need to know. I won’t tell him.”
“Knight made me responsible for your protection. Your safety was compromised. I must let him know.”
“You’re not my guardian,” she argues.
“Oh, trust me, I see myself as anything but that. It doesn’t change the fact that I can’t break the promise I made to him.”
Her face crumples. “Is it...is it because I’m not slim enough that it’s so easy for you to ignore me. Is it because—”
“Fucking stop, Sparrow.” I bend my knees and peer into her eyes. “You’re the most gorgeous, most beautiful, most ravishing woman I’ve ever met, and it’s taking everything in me not to throw you down and worship your body but—”
“But?”
“I’m going to walk away from you.”
35
Abby
“Fucking hell, so he walked away from you?” Solene’s laughing features greet me from my phone screen.
I scowl. “It’s no laughing matter.”
“You have to admit, it’s funny, in a horrifying, I-can’t-believe-it kind of way. There you are, all naked and ready to be ravished by him, and he doesn’t even look at you?”
“Imagine that. And this, after he—" I firm my lips. I am not going to overshare everything he’s done to me. I’m not.
“After he—?” She quirks her lips.
“You know… After the fact that we’ve already slept together.”
“Aha, I knew it.”
“It’s not a secret or anything,” I mumble under my breath.
“I guessed it, but wasn’t sure, but now that you’re confirming it to me, OMG.” She waggles her eyebrows at me. “How was it?”
My cheeks heat. “I’m not going to tell you.” I tip up my chin.
“Aww, come on, at least, let me live vicariously through you, yeah? Considering I’m not getting any.”
I frown at her. “So, Declan—"
“Declan who? I haven’t seen him or heard from him in weeks.”
“And did you try to call him?”
“Been too busy trying to salvage my tanking career.”
“Eh?” I blink. “Aren’t you the next big thing to hit the charts? Tipped for Grammy’s new artist nominee of the year? I thought your new album was doing amazingly well?”
She purses her lips. “My first album topped the charts, which is why I embarked on this tour. By all accounts, the second one should have done great, too, only it doesn’t seem to have delivered on its promise. The audience has been dwindling with each successive performance, and the organizers are threatening to cancel the rest of the tour.”
“Oh, no.” I sit up in my bed. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”
“It’s not like you didn’t have things on your own plate.”
“I know, my stupid love life hasn’t been the smoothest sailing, but really, what you’re going through is important, too.”
“Trust me, you don’t want to hear about it.” She half laughs, but her gaze remains troubled. I scan her features and notice, for the first time, how pale she looks. She’s not wearing any make-up, which means it’s serious. Every other time I’ve spoken to her, she’s either been getting ready for a performance or for an interview or for another event. This time though, she’s still in bed.
“Don’t you have another concert to prep for?”
She looks away, then back at me. “They had to cancel this one because they didn’t manage to sell more than a quarter of the tickets. What few fans I had left were pissed, and trust me, they didn’t hold back their ire. You should see my social media feed—" She winces. “Or actually, don’t. It’s not pretty.”
“Oh, Solene.” I shake my head. “I am so sorry I’ve been wallowing in my own troubles all these months. It’s just, I thought everything was going so well for you. Well, other than Declan. I knew you guys were struggling to find time for each other, but I thought it would all be worth it in the end, given how brilliantly your career was taking off.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. And the early part of the tour, the tickets to the concerts would sell out in seconds. But somewhere along the mid-way point, they lost interest. It was around the time my second album dropped.” She bites the inside of her cheek. “The critics panned it, which honestly, wouldn’t have bothered me if the fans had liked it, but they decided to turn their backs on it, as well. Already, I’m being called ‘a one hit wonder’ and ‘the flavor that never was,’ to quote media headlines.” Her eyes glisten.
“Oh honey, don’t listen to them. The world is quick to back a winner and look down on a loser. But inside, you know how good you are.”
“Am I, though?” She slides off the bed and begins to pace. “I’m seriously beginning to question it. When I came to LA, I was so determined to make it. I had so much hope, and Declan helped me out so much. I found success so quickly, I forgot what it was to struggle.” She shakes her hair back from her face. “Now, not only have I lost Declan, but also whatever it was that made my songs special. It’s like he was my good luck charm, you know?”
“You’re talking about him like he’s already in the past.”
“Isn’t he?” Her lips turn down. “If he were thinking about me, wouldn’t he have called or texted once in all these weeks?”