"You mean, he’s been there for a while?"
"I saw him when I peeked out earlier, which was a few hours ago. I thought he’d be gone by now."
"So, he’s just been standing there all this time?"
I raise a shoulder.
"What does he want?"
"I don’t know; I haven’t asked him." I throw up my hands.
“At least, it’s a quiet street. It might buy us a little time before the paps find out he’s keeping vigil outside your bedroom window,” Penny offers.
There’s a flash of lightning just then. I glance sideways to find rain pattering against the windowpanes. "Shit."
"Indeed."
The silence stretches, then I glance at her again. "Now what?"
She looks at the window, then back at me. “It’s raining.”
"I noticed." I lock my fingers together.
"You’re going to let him stay out there?"
"Thought you didn’t like him?"
"I don’t like how he treated you…but…" She tilts her head.
"But?"
"It’s raining?”
I hunch my shoulders. "It probably won’t last very long."
My stupid heart does this little pitter-patter in my chest. My guts churn.
"He’s just recovering from a knife wound." Her tone implies she’s not especially happy with me.
I stiffen. "Are you implying I should ask him in?”
"I’m not saying anything." She heads toward the kitchen. "Want a drink?"
I glance after her, then leaning forward, I slide the curtains closed.
"I’m such a sucker. Every-time I watch Before Sunrise, I still feel optimistic about finding my one true love, you know?" Penny stretches hugely. The bowl on the sofa between us tips and some of the popcorn spills to the floor. "Oops."
"I got it." I sweep the popped corn into my hand, then walk over to the waste-paper basket and deposit the rubbish. I turn, glance at the shuttered window, then turn away.
"Not going to peek and see if he’s still there?" Penny asks softly.
I shake my head.
"It’s still raining," she points out.
I bite the inside of my cheek. "He’s an athlete; he can take it."
Penny whistles. "Tough crowd, hey?"
I hunch my shoulders. "I don’t want to go out and talk to him. If I do… I … There’s no telling what I might do."
"You think if you speak to him, you’ll forgive him."
"No. Yes. I don’t know what I feel anymore."
"You still pissed with him?"
"Wouldn’t you be?"
"After how he behaved toward you and then lied to you about your brother asking him to take care of you, of course..." She hesitates.
"But? I sense there’s a but there."
She blows out a breath. "It’s really not my place to tell you what to do, Abby."
"I don’t know who else to speak with. If I message Knight, I’ll only be worrying him. Solene has too much on her plate. I wouldn’t dream of talking to my parents about this. And Zara is too close to Cade, so—"
"That leaves me, eh?"
I nod. "And Mira. But she’s been busy with her new job." Mira just started working as a virtual assistant for well-known author, so she’s been working round the clock. She checks in with me and Penny, and we’re due to meet up, but meanwhile, the only person I can really ask for advice is Penny.
"I really don’t want to bias you, and I’m not condoning what Cade did, but—" She picks up a cushion and cuddles it. "But… I think the guy’s really sorry, and he’s been trying to make amends."
"Because he sent me flowers?"
"Not terribly original, but at least, he was persistent about it."
I nod.
"And he’s kept his distance in the past, what is it, six weeks?"
I nod again.
"And now he’s standing outside the window—"
"Which is not fair, really." I begin to pace. "He knows he’s going to wear me down, just by showing up."
"And standing in the rain."
"Yeah." I drag my fingers through my hair. "The thing is, I’m not ready, Penny. I’m not. I can’t forgive him yet for everything he did." And maybe, part of the problem is me. Because damn, when he orders me around in that Dom voice of his, it feels so good, so right. It turns me on so fucking much to be subservient to him, but how do I know he won’t take advantage of that part of me again? I hunch my shoulders. "I’m not ready."
"Then don’t rush into anything."
I glance toward the window again, then at her. "And what do I do about the fact that he’s outside?"
"What is it you want to do?"
"Nothing."
She raises her hands. "Follow your instincts, babe. There’s no right or wrong here." She rises to her feet and yawns hugely. "I’m beat. This new job is killing me."
"Oh, my god, that’s right. I’m so sorry. How was it?" Penny just started working shifts in a restaurant. Today was her first day, actually, and I never even asked her how it went. I’ve been so preoccupied with my own troubles, I haven’t been a very good friend. "Is it what you thought it would be?"
She shrugs. "I’m only a trainee chef, and today—" She winces. "I may have botched things up a little, which is why I left early." She brightens. "But tomorrow is another day, huh?" She winks. "I’m off to bed. I have to be back at eight a.m. tomorrow." She blows me a kiss, then heads off in the direction of her bedroom. I stare at the window a little longer, then switch off the light and head to bed.
I sit up in bed with my chest heaving. It’s dark in my room, but I hear a steady tapping at my window. Sweat beads my forehead, and my pulse flutters at my wrists, at my ankles, even behind my eyeballs. The hair on the back of my neck rises, and I swing my legs over the bed.
I switch on my bedside lamp, then pull on my yoga pants and socks. I pad across the floor to the window, crack the drapes, look down, and flinch. It’s still raining. The rays from the closest streetlamp cast enough light that I can make out his silhouette.
He’s in the same position, feet slightly apart, arms across his broad chest. His chin tilts up. His cap casts his eyes in shadow, and what I can see of his face glistens in the scant light. The rain seems to grow in intensity. A gust of wind blows through the trees. A window bangs somewhere.
I jump and flatten my palm against the window. My blood begins to pound at my temples. A hot sensation pools in my chest. I should move away. Should turn my back on him and go to bed. I try to turn, but my feet seem attached to the floor. A ball of emotion clogs my throat. A tickle teases my nostrils. I sniff, then freeze when he sways. I peer through the darkness, trying to make out if he’s okay. He sways again, and I gasp. Then, his legs seem to give out on him, and he keels over.
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