I let my head rest back on the door, half expecting it to swing open at any moment. But a few minutes later, I’m still standing here, and Beau hasn’t appeared. Naturally, I scan my mind for whether I saw any means of escape in there. “Shit.” I push my way back in.
Beau’s on the bench in the center of the room.
Sobbing.
That guilt? It flares.
I hurry over and sit beside her, pulling her in for a hug. “I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“Don’t be. You’re so right.” She snivels and wipes at her face. “I can’t bear the waiting game, Rose. Every month, holding my breath, waiting to see if I’m broken there too.”
My eyes instinctively drop to my tummy. More guilt. I hug her tighter.
“Having to face James.” She looks at me. “I never knew I needed it. I was so stunned when I found out I was pregnant.” She laughs quietly, looking down at her feet. “And then I looked at James and saw what he saw. Hope. He saw hope for both of us. One more reason to love and not hate. Constant light to chase away the darkness.”
I can hardly breathe through the ball of grief wedged in my throat. “You have to believe it can be yours again.”
She looks at me, her dark eyes welling. “What if it can’t be?”
And it occurs to me. “Are you worried James wouldn’t want you anymore?”
“Maybe.” She looks away.
“He loves you.”
“I know. But I can see him giving up.”
“That’s because you’re hiding, Beau. You’re hiding from facing this, telling yourself you want to be a cop again when you should be asking yourself something else.”
“What?”
“Ask yourself if you can exist without James.”
Her bottom lip wobbles. I don’t know why we’re going the long way round to the point when, really, that’s the crux. They are now one, and without each other, merely empty vessels with a heartbeat.
“Let’s go home,” I say, done with pampering for today. Beau nods, making me breathe a little easier, and I call Danny to let him know. “Hey,” I say, hoping he’s calmer than when we spoke before.
“Hey,” he breathes, sounding exhausted. “Good day?”
Small talk. I’m not game. “We’re leaving now.”
“What?” he blurts, making me still, pausing for thought. “Already? Aren’t you having fun?”
Fun? Fun pretending to relax and have fun? No, I can’t say I am. “We’ve been here for—”
“Did you negotiate? Get her down to four?”
“What’s going on?”
“Nothing.”
I look at Beau, who’s looking too interested for my liking. And probably James’s and Danny’s. “Where are you?” I ask.
“The club. Why don’t you go home? We’ll meet you there.”
“Okay,” I say quietly, thoughtfully, hanging up. “They’re at the club.”
“And?”
“And that’s where we’re going.” I pivot and take myself back out to the spa floor, finding Fury. “Danny said to take us to the club.” Please don’t call and check.
“Fine.” He goes back to the copy of Hello! that he’s been reading since we arrived.
What the hell is going on?
Fury drives like Miss Daisy from the spa to the club. “Anytime today,” I quip, getting a tired look in the rearview mirror.
When we pull up, I see Ringo up ahead hopping out of a Mercedes and running across the road. I slip out and walk into the club, gazing around. Could be me, but the atmosphere feels a bit . . . tense. Mason is stacking the top shelf, and a few other staff are sweeping the floor and mopping. “Where are they?” I ask, making Mason look over his shoulder.
“Oh, Rose, Beau, ladies, what a surprise.”
“Yeah, I bet,” I say, heading for the office as the others go to the bar. I wander in without knocking and find Ringo looking out of breath. I eye him. He looks away.
“Where’s Beau?” James says, standing.
“At the bar.” He settles, but the worry and stress etched all over his face doesn’t lift.
“Hey, baby.” Danny smiles. “I thought you were heading home.”
Fucking dickhead. I should slap him for treating me like I’m stupid. “Well, I thought I would surprise you.” This is ridiculous. I go to my husband, hand him a card with the details of the spa owner, and reach up to kiss his cheek. “When is Daniel home?”
“I spoke to Tank an hour ago. They’re bowling.”
“Oh, lovely.”
“Mum here?” he asks.
“Having a glass of wine with the girls.”
“Oh, lovely.”
“Isn’t it?”
I give him another kiss. “I’ve had the best day, thank you.”
He smiles and seizes me, indulging me. “You’re welcome, baby. You can thank me properly when we get home.”
I smile coyly, detach myself from my conniving husband, and saunter out, my alarm bells going wild. I close the door.
“You dick, Ringo,” Danny hisses.
“I thought you told Fury to hold back?”
“I did.”
“Well,” Ringo pants, “he clearly didn’t hold back enough. I’m fucking sweating here.”
I stand on the outside of the office staring at the wood, my eyes narrowed. “What are—”
I swing around and hush Beau.
“You’re eavesdropping?”
“Yes, I am.” I go back to the door, and the next minute, Beau is pushed up next to me. “Did you see Ringo arrive?” I ask Beau, making sure I’m not completely losing my mind.
“Yes, I saw.”
We both listen hard.
“Well, I couldn’t very well have them go back to the fucking mansion,” Danny whispers. “If I had told them to come to the club, she would have gone home. If I told her to go home, she’d come here. I know how my wife thinks.”
I balk at the door incredulously. He wanted me to come here? Why?
“What if Amber shows up there?” Danny rants on.
I still. Shocked. Amber?
“So instead,” Ringo snaps, “you had them come to the club where a few hours ago it looked like Hannibal Lecter got jaw ache and opted for the more humane approach to killing his prey.”
“It was a stupid idea telling Amber to go to the house,” Brad chimes in. “Really fucking stupid.”
“She’s got information on The Bear,” Danny growls, and Beau steps back, her eyes going back to the wood. Oh no. “Not that it matters because she’s missing in fucking action.”
“Beau,” I say, stepping toward her. “Beau, please.” She shakes her head, turns, and heads for the ladies’. “Beau!” I whisper shout, swinging my head back and forth between my fleeing friend and the door to the office. “Fuck it.” I turn the other way and go back to the club, finding Fury. “Would you take us home in an hour? Esther’s finishing her wine.”
“Sure.”
“Thanks.” I smile and brush past him, going to the others at the bar, looking back to see Fury going to the office. To check with the boss if he can indeed take me home in an hour.