“Alys?” he prompted. “Talk to me.”
“I want to get it over with,” she blurted out, her face burning hot.
“It? Sex?”
Her face was really on fire now, and she nodded stiffly.
“Alys.” His hand slid along her collarbone and up her neck to cup her chin. He lifted her face to ensure she was looking at him in the mirror. “I can wait as long as you need. There's no rush. There’s no need to get it over with, Alys.”
How could she make him understand? He came from a world where sex was everywhere and spoken of openly in ways she couldn’t even fathom. She had grown up in a world where sex was something that only happened between a married couple. It was spoken of only in hushed tones, and clearly, from what she had witnessed after Bonnie’s wedding, the real truth of it was hidden from young women like her.
“I don’t want it looming over us like a black cloud,” she said finally. “I don’t want to be anxious all the time, wondering if this is the night.”
He frowned. “Alys, I don’t want you to feel that way either.” He stroked her neck, and her skin erupted in goosebumps. “Earlier, when I touched you here, I thought you were enjoying it.” He touched her breast. “When I kissed you here, you seemed to like it.”
Alys shuddered as his fingers swirled around her nipple. He wasn’t wrong. She liked it. A lot. It had felt unlike anything she had ever imagined. When he’d stopped, she’d felt like screaming. She wanted him to keep going, to keep showing her what else there was to lovemaking. She had thought he might kiss her again or touch her in that possessive way once they were in the shower, but he had treated her so carefully. It confused her.
“I did like it,” she confessed. “I do like it.”
“And maybe you want me to keep going?” he ventured a guess. “Maybe you’re unsure how to ask?”
“I don’t—” She stopped herself. “I don’t want you to think me wanton.”
“Alys, I would absolutely love it if you were wanton.” His grin made her insides wobble, and her heart race. “You never need to be embarrassed with me. Whatever we do together is for us and no one else. I won’t judge you if you don’t judge me.”
It seemed a fair arrangement, but she still needed to make absolutely sure. “Promise?”
“Promise.” He dipped down and kissed her neck. She gasped at the wild sensation of his lips on her skin. His hand slid down her chest and covered her breast. He grazed his teeth along her neck and pinched her nipple at the same time. It wasn’t enough force to hurt, but it got her attention. It made all the parts of her she had always been told never to touch feel warm and tingly.
“Do you still want to get it over with?” he asked, his tone teasing.
“Yes,” she said breathlessly.
“Good.” He spun her around with his strong hands and crashed his mouth against hers. She whimpered at the feel of his lips, but it was the squeeze of his hands on her bare hips that really made her head spin. He groaned and stabbed his tongue into her mouth, shocking her with the unexpected invasion. Her hands flew to his biceps, and she held on for dear life as he kissed her completely silly.
Aly surrendered to Swift’s commanding presence. He had more experience in these matters, and she trusted him to be gentle and patient. So far, he had shown her only kindness. She decided to believe what she had seen in his behavior toward her and not fret needlessly about whether or not he was secretly a monster.
Swift’s insistent kisses left her dizzy and breathless. He grinned down at her after a particularly good kiss, one that left her whimpering and trembling. With a mischievous glint in his eye, he asked, “Bed?”
Unable to speak, she nodded. Although she shivered in trepidation, she couldn’t deny the pulse of excitement deep inside her core. Her body felt so alive, and she wondered if this wild and wicked excitement was what drove so many young couples to break the rules and sin together before marriage.
When they reached the bed, Alys drew down the covers out of habit. She placed her knee on the bed to adjust the pillows—and Swift inhaled sharply behind her. Suddenly, she remembered he was stark naked. Bending over. Stretched out. Her entire bottom and other secret parts on display.
Her face heated with shame. She shot to her feet, but Swift commanded, “Get back on the bed. Just like you were.”
She glanced back at him, her face hot. “Sir?”
“On the bed. As you were,” he repeated, his eyes stormy with lust.
Her legs felt like jelly as she placed one knee on the bed and stretched toward the pillows. She left the other foot on the floor as it had been, but he commanded, “The other knee on the bed, too.”
“Yes, sir,” she whispered, her heart racing. She moved her other knee to the bed and knelt at the edge. She balanced forward on her palms and kept her embarrassed gaze glued to the plain white sheets. On all fours, she felt outrageously exposed. Was he looking at her privates? Could he see everything?
She became uncomfortably aware of the seeping wet heat from her woman’s place. She had been told that her body would lubricate to make penetration easier for her husband, but she hadn’t realized it would feel like this. Like she was melting from the inside, her whole body burning with desire beyond anything she could fathom.
“I’m going to touch you now.” Swift spoke in measured tones, his voice rough and deep. “If you don’t like what I do, tell me to stop.”
“Yes, sir.” She held her breath as he moved closer. One of his hands touched her lower back, steadying her atop the mattress. The other swept along the curve of her bottom to her upper thigh and then back up again. She could feel his fingertips mapping out the scars from her childhood beatings. Did he find them disgusting? Would he worry that she was insubordinate and contrary?
“If I ever meet the man who put these on you, I’m going to break his hands.” Swift growled the words with such fierceness it stunned her.
She glanced back at him and was taken aback by the anger etched into his face. Feeling the need to defend her father, she confessed, “I broke the rules. I had to be punished.”
“No.” Swift shook his head. “No one deserves to be punished like this.” He traced one of the worst raised lines on her bottom. “What did this? Not a strap,” he said with the practiced eye of a man who knew his way around impact tools. “A cane?”
“A switch,” she said, dropping her gaze again. “From the tree out front. Sometimes, if we were particularly bad, we got the strap and the switch.”
“That was abuse, Alys. That wasn’t discipline.”
She supposed there was a distinction to be made. Looking back as an adult, she could see how her father’s treatment of her and her older brothers had been horrifically mean. He had mellowed with her younger siblings, mostly because Alys and Adam had run interference and kept them out of trouble.
“I will never, ever touch you in anger, Alys.”
Alys met his steady gaze and saw the truth there. “Thank you, sir.”
He massaged her bare bottom with both hands and then shocked her by kneeling down beside the bed. She flushed at the realization that his face was right there, and he could see everything she had to offer. She hissed in shock at the first kiss he placed on her bottom. She definitely hadn’t been expecting that!