“I don’t know.” Alys suspected that her mother had long since given up on loving their father. She sometimes wondered if their mother even respected him anymore or if she simply deferred to him to avoid his outbursts of violence. Maybe she would be just as relieved to find out he was gone.
“I think Wendy will move back to the farm with Mama.”
“Do you?” Alys hadn’t even considered that possibility. “Why?”
“I heard Wendy’s brother-in-law is finally getting married. His new wife will be the lady of the house.”
“Yes, but Bertie is the heir. Her son is going to inherit that house and two-thirds of the wool factory one day.”
“Maybe,” Bonnie said uncertainly. “I think it’s more likely Pete will keep the house and try to buy out Wendy and her kids. He always struck me as the sneaky type.”
“Well, we’ll have to make sure Pete doesn’t get any funny ideas about taking what belongs to his nephew and nieces and widowed sister-in-law.”
“If I were Wendy, I’d take the money and invest it in the colonies. I wouldn’t want to risk that dummy Pete driving the factory into the ground.”
Alys looked at her sister in awe. “When did you get interested in finance?”
“Well, when you’re married and you can’t stand your husband, you have a lot of hours to fill. Graham’s father left behind a big library, and his mother receives the paper from The City every single day. It’s amazing what you can learn when you’re allowed to read whatever you want.”
“That’s been my experience, too,” Alys replied, thinking of all the knowledge she had soaked up during her time with Swift.
“I’m glad it worked out for you, Alys.” Bonnie gestured to the hallway. “Running off and volunteering to be Grabbed.”
“I figured my chances were better letting a giant sky warrior take me than marrying Wendel. I was right.”
“He’s still arguing that Father owes him a payment for the trouble of searching for a new wife.”
Alys made a disgusted sound. “He really is the grossest man.”
“If Wendel comes around and tries to shake Mama down for that payment, Adam will knock the last few teeth right out of his head.”
“Rightfully so.”
They lapsed into silence for a moment, just listening to the sounds of the machines and watching their mother’s chest rise and fall. After a while, Bonnie said, “All I ever wanted was to be a good wife and a mother, to be like Mama. But now? Now, I’m not so sure that’s enough.”
“Bonnie, you’re so young. There's time for you to figure out what you want out of life.” She wished so much she could go back in time and save Bonnie from ever getting married. “Go through with the annulment, and start over. Learn who you are and what you want.”
“You make it sound so easy.”
“It’s not. It won’t be.” Alys grasped Bonnie’s hand. “But it’s worth the trouble. You deserve to be happy, Bonnie.”
“So do you,” Bonnie replied. “Are you happy?”
“Deliriously,” Alys said with a smile. “Don’t get me wrong. There are moments when I really miss the farm. Grass, trees, fresh air and all of our animals. I let myself feel the homesickness. I acknowledge it, and I let it go. I focus on all the wonderful things I do have—Swift, my friends, my home, these babies. I have everything I’ve ever wanted. My husband loves me. We have a nice home. We have stability and security. We’re going to be parents.”
Bonnie sniffled and wiped at the tears that fell from her eyes. “Maybe I should volunteer to be Grabbed after my annulment. Find me a big scary man who looks at me the way Swift looks at you.”
“Maybe you should,” Alys said, uncertain whether that would make her sister happy or not.
“Or maybe I’ll run off to the colonies with Brandon and do something wild and adventurous,” she teased.
“Not too wild,” Alys said, reverting to her usual big sisterly ways.
Swift appeared in the doorway with an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, but the med bay is closing for the night.”
“Oh.” Alys hadn’t realized how late it was.
“We’ve been given temporary lodgings. The mess is open for another two hours if you and Bonnie are hungry.” Swift gave her a meaningful glance, and she knew he was silently reminding her she had to take care of herself while pregnant.
Alys stood and waited for Bonnie to give their mother a kiss on her cheek before doing the same and leaving the hospital room. Swift placed his hand on her back, guiding her through the hospital wing and out into the cool night. She reached for Bonnie’s hand and held tight as Swift took them to the cafeteria. There was a designated spot for civilians and visitors, and he made sure they understood it was imperative they stayed in that area only.
After a hot meal that was surprisingly good and filled with fresh vegetables and fruit from the neighboring farms, they retreated to their lodgings. It was a two-bedroom space with a shared bathroom and living room. It was extremely utilitarian and ugly, but it served its purpose.
Alys found a second nightgown in her hastily packed bag and gave it to Bonnie who then bid them goodnight. Desperate for a shower, she made her way to the bathroom and made no protest when Swift silently joined her. He often showed his love for her through his actions. Helping her undress and gently washing her body was one way he often showed he cared.
She returned the favor, relishing the feel of his strong body under her fingertips. He was silk over steel, and she let her greedy hands roam his body to enjoy all that he had to offer. Even though they were both too tired to even think of making love, they shared a few passionate kisses.
Later, cuddled together in bed, she listened to his heartbeat and stroked his chest. The darkness of the room helped cover her embarrassment as she finally worked up the courage to say, “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Swift’s voice rumbled.
“For everything that you had to see today,” she said, cringing at the memory of her family’s outrageous behavior. “I’m so embarrassed.”
“Stop,” he insisted, stroking her back. “Nothing that happened today was your fault, and especially not the fight or your father’s death.” He sighed. “I’m sorry your father is gone. I know how difficult it is to lose a parent, even a bad one.”
“Bonnie and I realized we felt relieved,” she admitted. “I told her it doesn’t make us bad, but it doesn’t feel very good to acknowledge that relief.”
“Families are complicated, Alys. You’re allowed to mourn your father without approving of everything he ever did.” He caressed her lower back. “I’m sure there were moments of happiness with him despite all the terrible things he did. I think it’s natural to focus on those good times instead of the bad when someone dies.”
He didn’t often talk about his father, and the few things he had mentioned had always given her the feeling that Swift’s father was quick to anger and hit like hers. “Did you feel that way when your father died?”
“Yes,” he said without hesitation. “I was relieved that my mother wouldn’t have to deal with his outbursts and moods any longer. I was happy that she would get her widow’s pension that she more than earned after putting up with him for thirty years.”