“Sounds relaxing.” He has to notice the disappointment in my voice.
“It does.”
Okay, now that I’ve been shot down, standing here is awkward.
“I’m going to go.” I point over my shoulder with my thumb. “Enjoy the rest of your stay, Mr. Vaughn.”
“Thanks, Princess. Have a safe trip home.”
I nod, turn, and walk to my car. Despite that I’m dying to turn around to check if Dax is watching me, I don’t. I drive away without a single look back, and grab a bag of strangely satisfying fast food that I eat in the car on my way home.
My sister-in-law, Lara, is coloring with my niece Kiera when I walk in. Tasha is nowhere to be seen, but then, my three-year-old niece is usually in bed by the time I return home anyway. Like her aunt, the girl loves her sleep.
“There she is. Survived the flood,” Lara says.
“Becca!” Kiera leaps off her chair and I’m wearing her like a second skin a moment later.
“Okay, Monkey.” I jokingly make a strangling sound before unlooping her arms from around my neck and setting her on her feet.
“Good news,” Lara says, still coloring. “I bought us a new king bed, so the queen is now in the sewing room. That means Kiera can have her bed and you can have your own.”
“Lara...”
She holds up a hand to stay my argument. “We needed a bed anyway.”
“I’ll never be able to repay you guys for all you’ve done. I’ll move out eventually, I promise.”
“I hope not soon.” Lara pauses to tell Kiera to put her pajamas on so that Aunt Becca can read her a bedtime story. The bribe works, and fifteen minutes later, I emerge from Kiera’s bedroom with a tattered copy of Goodnight Moon.
“She’s out.”
“I figured it wouldn’t take long. She played hard today.”
“Ah, to be tired from playing hard,” I sigh.
“I like having you here.” Lara pours two glasses of white wine and continues her earlier thought as if we never broke stride. “I like having a babysitter on call. And I like when you force me to work out. You know how lazy I am.”
I snort and accept the wine, sitting down at the kitchen table with her. “You’re not lazy. You work all the time. Raising a family. Managing a household. It’s a lot.”
I work part-time and take care of myself, and it’s too much for me to manage some days. In my defense, I do pull my weight around here. I’m not a total leech. If I can sneak out to buy groceries or pay the cable bill before Tad grabs it, I do. Both Tad and Lara insist they don’t want anything in return except babysitting, but that doesn’t seem fair. I’d hang out with my nieces for free.
I’m saving money to move out, and they know it. The thing is, I’m not sure where my next home should be. Tennessee doesn’t feel like a permanent landing spot. But then again, I’ve never lived anywhere that felt permanent. New York didn’t. Virginia didn’t. Neither did Michigan. Or Ohio.
I think of Dax from Columbus. I wonder where he lives in Columbus. I wonder if I didn’t give Columbus a fair shake, if I could try living there again.
While dating a certain tall, hotter-than-Hades stripper look-alike.
Hmm...
“That was a hum of sheer bliss,” Lara points out before tipping her glass to her lips. After a hearty sip, she says, “I’m surprised you came back. Did your hot guest check out already?”
“No.” I grab a crayon and start filling in one of the pages Kiera was coloring when I walked in. Kiera has wisely colored the unicorn’s hair purple and the horn pink. I’m coloring the hooves gold, though Crayola’s gold needs some work—or some glitter. It’s more metallic brown than anything.
Lara starts shading in the clouds on the adjacent page. “I feel like there’s more to this story.”
“Not much more,” I announce with a token amount of misery. “He’s packing up now to relocate to cabin seven, which is the cabin he’d originally booked. I delivered the key to him tonight and I asked him out to dinner. He said he couldn’t.”
My smile is tight. I can feel it.
“Bec.” Sympathy curves Lara’s eyebrows. “What a jerk. I’m sorry, hon.” She rubs my shoulder. I’d love to board the “jerk train” with her, but that’s unfair to Dax.
“It wasn’t like that.” When she gives me a Yeah, right head tilt, I add, “Honest. Dax is a really good guy.”
“He slept with you, stole your recipe, and now has no time for you?” Her expression changes from sympathetic to angry. “Sounds like bullshit.”
“Tad told you about the recipe.” I’m trying damn hard not to be angry with my bigmouthed brother. “It was a gift.”
“You know what?” She continues coloring. “Cut your losses. He’ll be gone soon and you won’t have to see him again. Ever.”
“Lara,” I say around a laugh. As much as I disagree, I appreciate her support. “He’s not like that. I’m... I think this is my fault. I made this rule not to discuss our pasts, not to get too personal. I’ve been the one running away. Sneaking out. Nothing about the way I’ve behaved suggested I wanted anything more. He’s probably cutting his losses.”
That was supposed to be a throwaway remark. I hate how true it felt.
“How much longer will he be in town?”
“He’s booked for two weeks.” If he doesn’t check out early like everyone else did, I mentally add.
“So what are you going to do?”
I regard her as if she asked me a complicated mathematical equation.
“Are you going to see him again?”
I shrug and try really hard to look nonchalant. “Probably. He has to come to the office to return the key before he leaves.”
She rolls her eyes.
“I know what you meant.” I spin my wineglass on the table, watching the golden liquid swirl rather than meet my sister-in-law’s assessing stare. “You’re asking if I’m brave enough to show up on his doorstep one more time?”
“Are you?”
I close my eyes and picture Dax, sure and strong, leaning against that doorframe, daring me with his eyes to invite myself in. I could have offered to make him dinner. I could have insisted on following him up to cabin 7. I could have offered to have him follow me under the guise of helping him find it okay.
I didn’t. I chickened out.
I know it. He knows it.
“I could always mosey up there tomorrow and offer to make him breakfast.”
“You do make great pancakes.” Lara’s smile is approving.
She’s the best. Just the best.
Dax is going fishing in the morning. This I know. I stab my bottom lip with my teeth, wondering what time people go fishing around here.
And what time they get back.
TUESDAY MORNING
It’s a glorious morning! Warm and sunny but not hot and sticky. Very few clouds dot a clear blue sky, and the backdrop of swaying green-leafed trees tempts me to play hooky and soak up the sunshine instead.
Except I have to work.
Womp.
I hopped out of bed and made myself a to-go mug of coffee, pulled on my nicest cabinwear, and drove here to the tune of all but one green light.