“Except what comes out of my mouth?” she says haughtily.
“Yeah. When you’re right, you’re right.”
She moves to close the door, but I stick my foot inside it. “Maybe we should talk.”
“I don’t want to talk, Leif. I didn’t open this door to come find you to talk.”
“Yeah. I know.”
“You want me as much as I want you.”
I start to smile but stop myself. “You think so?”
“Do you kiss every woman like that?”
“As a matter fact, I do. I like to kiss.”
She’s right though. Kissing Kelly was special. Spectacular, even. There was a rawness, an ache, a need. Something I haven’t felt in a long time, if ever.
I’ve only been in love once, and it was with a woman from home. Falcon Bellamy’s sister Robin.
Damn.
That was so long ago. The last couple times I’ve been home to visit my folks, I haven’t even seen her. Robin is too sweet and innocent for someone like me now. I’ve seen things no one should have to see, had experiences that no one should have to experience.
But…
So has the woman before me. Kelly is far from too sweet and innocent for me. We have more things in common than not. I don’t know her whole story, but she doesn’t know mine either.
Yet we seem to fit together. The physical chemistry between us is hot.
And damn…
It’s been a long time since I’ve wanted a woman like this.
And as much as I thought I was in love with Robin Bellamy all those years ago, I don’t ever remember feeling this much of an ache for her.
I reenter Kelly’s apartment, and I look her straight in her beautiful blue eyes.
“This isn’t a game, Kelly. I told you before. If you want me to stop, you need to tell me now. Because once we start, I may not be able to.”
“You stopped before.”
“I did. And it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.”
Her lips quirk up into that pretty smile again.
“There you go. There’s that smile.”
This time she doesn’t frown. She keeps the smile on her face. “No one has ever told me they like my smile.”
“You’re kidding me.”
“No one’s ever told me I’m beautiful either.”
I drop my jaw. “I’m sure you had tons of boyfriends, you know… Before…”
“Before the island?” She shakes her head. “I worked my ass off, living paycheck to paycheck, trying to make ends meet. I didn’t have time to date.”
“Surely you were asked out.”
“A few times. By customers. Other employees at the restaurant. But I never returned their interest.”
“But you’re returning mine?”
“Yeah, and damned if I know why.” Then she looks me over. My shirt is still unbuttoned. “Well, I guess I know why.”
I resist the big grin that wants to spread across my face. Sure, I’m attractive to women. I’ve known that since I got through puberty.
“I think you’re gorgeous,” I say, “but I’m not interested in a one-time thing, especially not with you.”
“Why not?”
“You know why. You’re my job.”
“I’m a human being, Leif. I’m not a job.”
I lift my eyebrows. “You’re right. I apologize.”
She drops her jaw. “I said something that makes sense to you?”
“Absolutely. You’re a human being. First and foremost, you’re a unique individual. I’m glad you know that.”
“Macy helped me with that.. And the therapists at the retreat center. They were good. Really good.”
“Were they?” I can’t help a chuckle.
“I know why you’re asking me that. I know how I’ve treated you, and I’m going to tell you right now that my instinct is to lash out at you.”
“I’m not surprised.”
“They’ve told me…”
“Go ahead.”
“No. It’s just too private to talk about. Can’t we just…go to bed?”
“We could, but isn’t that the most private thing we could do together?”
“Not really.” She scoffs.
Facepalm. Literally a palm to my face. What the hell was I thinking? “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“It should be private. A private thing between adults. Both parties should consent. But those five years on the island did a number on me. I don’t think of it as a private thing anymore.”
“It’s a miracle that you want it at all,” I say.
“Not really. Macy said my desires would come back. She said I’d probably be surprised when they did, and that they might come sooner rather than later.”
“And are you surprised?”
“Yeah. Although looking at you, who wouldn’t want you?”
This time I don’t resist. I let the grin spread across my face, splitting it. “You can be sweet when you want to be.”
“Sweet? Never.”
“Maybe I should be the judge of that.” I pull her toward me, tip her chin, and kiss her lips.
She opens for me, and I swipe my tongue in between her lips. I kiss her, hard and passionately, and she returns the kiss with equal sentiment.
It’s not our first kiss, but it’s a kiss like the first time you ever kiss someone. It’s that exciting. Even a touch of taboo about it.
I deepen the kiss, kicking her door shut with my foot.
I don’t know if we’ll make it into the bedroom, but if we do? I won’t stop this time.
This time, I’m all in.
26
KELLY
Within a few minutes, I’m not just being kissed. I’m being devoured.
And to have this happen to me—to my body, with my consent, with my complete desire and yearning—is something.
Something amazing.
I don’t think I’ve ever wanted a man the way I want Leif, and though it doesn’t make any sense—other than the fact that he’s incredibly good-looking—I’m ready to go with it. I’m ready to let him explore me, do whatever he wants to me.
I know. I know that if I tell him to stop, he will stop.
He makes all that big man talk about “tell me now if you want to stop, because I won’t be able to.” But this man? This Ex-Navy SEAL? He will stop if I ask him to stop.
I brush the shirt back over his shoulders until it lands on my hardwood floor. Then I touch him. I run my hands down his neck, over his broad shoulders, savoring the hardness and the warmth of them.
I touch his chest, his hard pecs. He’s so blond he has almost no chest hair, and what little he has is nearly white.
He’s perfect. His nipples look like light copper coins, and when I run my fingertips over them, they harden for me.
Then there’s the bulge. The bulge I already noticed in his jeans. He must be huge, and I want huge. If I have huge, it will burn through me, erase everything that’s been done down there before—without my consent.
It will be perfect.