My butt hurts from the spanking, but not like it used to. I’m older now. I just turned ten, and Mama even got me a birthday cake.
She put ten candles on it, lit them, and sang happy birthday to me.
Before she knocked me on the back of my head, pulled me into her lap, spanked me, and then shoved me into the closet.
I sigh in relief when the door opens, and I shield my eyes against the light.
“Come on out now, sweetheart.” Mama’s voice is soft and kind.
This is my mama. Sweet as syrup in one minute, violent and destructive the next.
She never leaves any marks on me that can be seen. Only where my clothes cover them. Or on the top of the head where they’re camouflaged by my orange hair.
The orange hair I hate.
The orange hair that the kids make fun of.
“Come here, sweetheart.”
I run into her arms, just like I always do.
Because I love my mama. And I know my mama loves me. She tells me so every day. Between beatings and locking me in the closet.
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. But you know you have to be a good girl. You know Mama has to punish you when you’re bad.”
I nod and choke out a sob against her breast. I know better than to ask what I did. That will only set her off again.
But I don’t know what I did. I never know what I do.
The closet she locks me in is in the spare room. Not my own closet, where at least I’d have the comfort of my clothes. Just an empty space with wood floor and walls.
I follow her out to the kitchen, where a lone gift sits on the table, wrapped in plain red paper. When I look closer, I see that it’s not plain. There’s a slightly darker red snowflake pattern on it. It’s Christmas wrap. But it was nice of Mama to go to the effort. We don’t have a lot of money, so I’m lucky I’m getting a present at all.
I don’t dare touch it, though. I’ve learned to never make assumptions where Mama is concerned.
“Well…” she says. “Go ahead.”
I move toward the gift, but I still don’t touch it.
“Open your present, Kelly. It’s your birthday, after all.”
I grab the present off the table and rip it open. It’s a cardboard shoebox. New shoes, maybe? I remove the lid.
I gasp out loud.
Inside the shoebox is my volleyball. It’s been deflated.
Mama smiles. “Do you like it?”
“I don’t understand,” I say. “Why did you take all the air out of my volleyball?”
“I didn’t just let the air out,” Mama says. “I poked holes in it so you can’t use it anymore.”
Tears well in my eyes.
“You’ve been spending too much time playing volleyball after school,” Mama continues. “I need you home. Things don’t get done around here if you’re not here to do them.”
I gulp back the tears. I stopped crying over Mama’s cruelty long ago, but this is beyond callous, even for her.
“But I love playing with the other girls after school.”
Mama’s face twists into a snarl. “Kelly, I went to all the trouble to get you a gift that will help you to be a better person. A better daughter. You might show a bit more appreciation.”
Appreciation? Sadness sweeps through me. I can’t cry. I won’t cry.
Perhaps she’s right. Maybe I’m being selfish. I suppose I don’t need my own ball. All the other girls have their own, and we only need one ball to play.
But I saved up money, collected box tops.
And I went around to all the neighbors, asking if they needed any chores done. I made a few bucks that way.
I gulp again. If I start crying, it may set her off.
And I’ll end up back in the closet.
So I simply set the box down on the table and look up at my mother. “Thank you for the present, Mama. It was very thoughtful of you.”
“You’re very welcome, sweetheart. Happy birthday.”
5
LEIF
Buck and Aspen are staying in a suite at a posh hotel.
Me?
I’m moving into one of the furnished apartments in the building that houses Derek Wolfe’s victims.
Why? I don’t know. It’s not like they need additional security. But after the meeting, Reid took me aside and asked me to do it.
“I want someone watching after Kelly in particular,” he says. “I’m not exactly sure what’s going on with her. Whether Brindley McGregor is threatening her or not. I need you to talk to Brindley, have her answer some questions.”
I furrow my brow. “You mean no one has talked to her?”
“Just a police officer Kelly called after she got the first text. She called the cops before she called any of us.”
“And?”
“It went as you would expect. Brindley denied any wrongdoing. She even let us look at her cell phone. But as you know, she could be using burners.”
“Kelly is…” I shake my head. “Something’s not right there.”
“We’re not privy to any of her records from the treatment center on Wolfe Island,” Reid says. “Doctor-patient confidentiality and all. But her doctors did say she was ready to leave the retreat center and come home.”
“Where is home for her?”
“Phoenix, Arizona.”
I raise my eyebrows at the word Phoenix. It’s my Navy SEAL name. But I’m not from Arizona. I’m from Texas. They gave me the name because I was so good at getting out of scrapes—like a phoenix rising from the ashes.
I am pretty good at that. That last scrape, though? Only Buck and I got out alive.
“So the cops didn’t do anything?”
“What could they do?” Reid shrugs. “Her phone was clean, and Brindley hasn’t gone anywhere. She’s still getting acclimated. Security footage shows she rarely leaves the building.”
“Aspen says Kelly was different on the island,” I tell Reid. “She said she would actually get jealous when one of the other girls was picked over her.” I shake my head. “I can’t imagine why. Aspen and Katelyn both say they considered it a reprieve when they weren’t chosen.”
Reid closes his eyes for a second. “I can’t imagine what those ladies went through. And Zee… It was almost her too.”
“The only one that got away.”
“I thank God every day.” Reid rubs a hand over his face. “I can’t even imagine what Buck is going through with Aspen.”
“Aspen’s in a good place, I think. So is Buck. They’re good for each other. It’s like they complete each other, and I don’t mean that in a ridiculous romantic way. I mean it in a truly symbiotic way. They’re like yin and yang.”
“They do seem to be well matched,” Reid agrees. “I’m happy for them. You know how much you guys mean to me. You’ve helped me out for the last couple years, helped me solve this mystery to begin with.”
“You seem to be in a good place now.”
Reid smiles. “I am. With Zee and little Nora. But still, it wasn’t that long ago when we were searching those caves under the church. It’s crazy what was going on, and my siblings and I had no idea.”