“The only other option is to see if maybe one of your siblings can stay for a couple of nights so you can get some sleep and someone can figure out Asher’s schedule.”
“Absolutely not. It will never happen. Everyone has jobs of their own and can’t stay up all night any more than I can.” Elbows on the table, he rested his face in his hands. “I just don’t know how to handle all of this. There’s just so much to figure out. Most new parents have nine months to prepare. I literally had like…zero minutes.”
It would be foolish to point out how if he had only agreed to meet up with Jenn the first time she asked, none of this would be happening right now.
“I know you didn’t have any time, Jamie, but you’re going to be fine. There are a ton of parenting books and websites out there, but a lot of being a good parent is on following your instincts. Right now, Asher just needs to be clean and fed and snuggled to make him feel safe and secure.”
“Yeah, well…I wouldn’t mind feeling a little safe and secure right now too.”
He looked up at her and all Fallon could see was utter hopelessness on his face. She was used to seeing him being cocky and arrogant; his confidence was both legendary and often misplaced. But seeing him like this was more than a little unnerving.
“This is all temporary, Jamie. You have to know that. In a few weeks, you’ll feel more settled and it will all be alright.”
“You don’t know that…”
“Yes, I do,” she countered. “All new parents—even the ones who had nine months to prepare—are nervous when they first bring their babies home. No one knows what to expect or if their child will sleep or cry a lot…there are no guarantees. You’re no different from every other new parent.”
“That doesn’t make me feel any better. It’s just me,” he argued, but there wasn’t any heat behind his words. “Most new parents are just that—parents. There are two of them and they can take turns. For at least the next three weeks, I’m alone in this.”
“No, you’re not.” Again, she reached out and touched him and somehow they ended up holding each other’s hands, fingers linked. “I’m here. I know I’m not Asher’s mother, but I’m here to help you. You have your whole family willing to help. Don’t feel like you’re all alone.”
“You don’t understand. I know you’re here and I can call Ryleigh, Ari, Liam, or Patrick at any time, but the bottom line is you all have lives. You’re only here for a certain number of hours a day and they all work. So…”
Sadly, he had a point.
However, this was all part of being a parent. And this wasn’t about her being mean or petty or even about their lifelong pattern of trying to poke and annoy each other. This was quite possibly the first thing Jamie was going to have to truly learn to do on his own. He couldn’t flirt or persuade or charm his way out of it. He was going to have to be the guy who was up all night and going to work and putting in a full day before coming home and doing it all over again. Fallon knew she would help where she could, but there were boundaries in place, and she needed to stick to them.
No matter how badly she wanted to fix this—and she realistically knew she could by offering to stay over for the next couple of nights—she knew it wouldn’t truly be doing him any favors. He and Asher needed to start forming their own routine and creating a bond.
“I still think it’s going to be okay,” she told him, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “It’s a lot quieter here today than it was yesterday, so you and I can go over things for you to try when he’s fussy, and we’ll come up with a plan to make the time after I leave at the end of the day easier for the both of you.”
He let out a mirthless laugh. “I don’t see how that’s possible.”
Slowly, Fallon took her hand from his and stood. “For starters, I prepped all the bottles for the rest of day and well into tomorrow morning. All the laundry is done so there are plenty of clothes, blankets, burp cloths…everything you might need is ready should you need it.”
He nodded, but didn’t look like this was good news at all.
“I’m going to show you the best way to keep him swaddled so he’ll feel better when he sleeps and…though I’m not sure this is the best solution…he really seems to like the stroller.”
“And? What does that mean?”
“It means if the nights are really rough, you put him in the stroller in your room. You keep it next to your bed so he’s right there. Hell, we could go to the store and buy a bassinet or something smaller than the crib to put in your room for now and set up a little changing station and get one of those tiny dorm fridges so you never have to leave your room.”
Now that seemed to get his attention.
“Seriously? Like…do people really do that?”
“The summer before I left for college, I worked for a family who had five-year-old twins and then just had a baby. The twins were awesome, but the baby had some health issues and needed to be fed every two hours. No one was going to get any sleep like that. So yeah, they put everything in the master bedroom and the parents took turns getting up and feeding him. It wasn’t ideal, but it was only for a short amount of time.” She smiled at him. “There’s no set of hard rules here, Jamie. As long as Asher’s needs are being met and he’s safe, and you’re staying sane, then you’re good.”
He let out a loud sigh of relief before raking both hands through his hair.
“If you want, I can run to the store and get everything…”
“No!” he said a little too quickly, a panicked look already on his face.
“O-kay…”
“What if he wakes up? What if I fall asleep? What if…?”
He was spiraling.
“How about this—when Asher wakes up, you and I walk through all the steps of getting him changed and fed and then we all go to the store together? What do you think?”
“Please don’t take this the wrong way, but…”
“Oh my God! If you tell me you don’t want to be seen in public with me…”
“No! No, that’s not it! I swear! Jeez!” Shaking his head, he looked up at her. “I just…I’m not sure I’m ready to risk running into anyone while I’m out with Asher. You know how small-town gossip is and if word got out to my parents…”
Damn. She had forgotten about that.
“Hmm…then I guess we have two options,” she began. “First, you go by yourself, but only after Asher wakes up and you help care for him.”
“Technically, I’m supposed to be at work and that’s why you’re here,” he said with a nervous laugh and instead of getting pissed at him, she took it in stride because she knew he was freaking out.
“Or…I’ll go once Asher’s asleep again. This way, the two of you can sleep while I’m gone.”
Jamie was studying her hard and for the life of her, she had no idea what was going through his mind.
“Um…Jamie?” she prompted after a minute.
“I have a third potential option,” he said slowly.
“Which is…?”