It wasn’t like she was surprised by the results. Obviously, there weren’t a lot of options in a small town. It was one of the reasons she had opened herself up to living anywhere in the country. But now that she was back—and with Jamie—the thought of moving far away was beyond unappealing.
“So now what do I do?”
The decision was made for her when Jamie walked through the door. She tried to get a read on how he was feeling, but his expression was just as it always was—pleasantly neutral. Normally that was great, but right now, she just wanted a hint of what was to come.
Standing, she was about to ask him, but he took her in his arms and kissed her until she was weak and breathless. When he released her, all she could do was murmur a breathless, “Wow.”
“How’s your day going, beautiful?”
“Um…okay. How’s yours?”
Shrugging, he walked into the kitchen and grabbed himself a bottle of water. “Would you like one?”
“No, but thanks.” She was jittery and her stomach was in knots, and she was on the verge of demanding answers, but he beat her to it.
“Okay, so I spoke with the attorney,” he began as he sat down at the kitchen table. “And, technically, Jenn abandoned Asher.”
“Technically?”
“Abandonment normally applies to situations when the child is left either unattended, with strangers, or dropped off at a firehouse or police station, or with a social worker.”
Nodding, she sat down beside him. “But because she left him with his father…”
“Yeah. It’s not quite so black and white. The fact that she left him the way she did will count against her if we had to go to court to argue over custody.”
“Do you think it’s going to come to that?”
He shrugged. “That’s just it, I don’t know. Will she even want to share custody? Does she want to co-parent?”
“What about you? What do you want?” she asked carefully.
“I know I should say we should co-parent, but considering she hid her pregnancy from me and then took off? I’m going to sue for full custody and termination of her parental rights.”
“What?” she cried. “Jamie…that’s a little extreme, don’t you think?”
“Not at all. Think about it, Fallon. If she was detached enough to just leave Asher on my porch and walk away, what kind of mother would she be to him? I’d be worrying all the damn time about whether or not he was safe with her or if she was leaving him alone. That’s not a chance I’m willing to take.”
“Okay, okay, I get it, but…from her letter, it sounded like she was going to get help for something. Maybe she’s dealing with depression and knew she needed to leave Asher with you for his own safety. She should be commended for that.”
But he shook his head. “If she was struggling with anything, then she needed to talk to me about it.”
“But you wouldn’t talk to her, Jamie! She tried and you refused to do it!”
“Wait…whose side are you on? Because it sounds to me like you’re on her side and I don’t understand why!” And yeah, he was pissed.
“This isn’t about taking sides! This is about playing devil’s advocate and making sure you’re looking at this from all sides and not just making a rash decision based on emotions!”
“It should be based on emotion! We’re talking about my son! An innocent baby! This isn’t something sterile or clinical. He’s my flesh and blood! There’s no way to leave emotion out of it!”
This wasn’t getting them anywhere…
“Jamie, I didn’t say you had to take emotions out of it. I’m saying you need to be well-informed before making a decision. Punishing Jenn might seem very satisfying right now, but is it the right thing for Asher? Somewhere down the road, he’s going to want to know about her and he may be upset with you if you’re the reason she’s not in his life.”
He looked ready to argue, but didn’t.
Instead, he cursed.
Loudly.
“Great! So now I’m supposed to potentially put my son in danger so that somewhere down the line he may or may not hate me? Because that sounds like bullshit. I’m sure in your big university classes that talked about this kind of stuff, they teach you to trust even when it’s not warranted.”
“Hey!” she snapped. “There’s no reason for you to get all pissy with me and insult my education. No one’s saying you have to listen to me, but I thought we were having a conversation and that involves each of us sharing our opinions. I’m just putting stuff out there for you to consider. If you don’t want to listen to me, then fine. But you should talk to other people—like your siblings—and see what they have to say!”
“That’s a great idea,” he said snidely, and before she knew it, he was typing with lightning speed on his phone. Five minutes later, when he put his phone down, his smile was smug. “They’ll all be here for dinner. Liam and Tessa are picking up pizza.” Then he stood and walked out of the room, leaving her feeling more than a little bewildered.
“What the hell just happened here?” she mumbled.
It was pointless to go after him, so she got up and put her laptop away and wondered—not for the first time today—just what she was supposed to do with herself. Asher was going to be down for at least another hour, and it would be three hours before the Donovans arrived.
Walking to the sliding glass doors, Fallon slid them open and stepped out onto the deck. Maybe she could go for a drive or could go and do a little retail therapy, but she didn’t think an hour would be enough.
Why an hour? Jamie’s home and can take care of his son for a couple of hours.
Decision made, she turned to go back into the house but found Jamie standing in the doorway. Again, she couldn’t quite read his expression, but right now, she didn’t really care.
“I’m going to go out for a little while. I’ve got some errands to run. Asher should be up in an hour,” she told him before trying to get into the house.
But he blocked her.
“Jamie, I need to get inside to get my stuff.” When he still didn’t move, she huffed loudly. “Seriously? You’re going to revert to acting like a child?”
Instead of responding right away, he stepped onto the deck and just completely embraced her. “I’m sorry,” he whispered gruffly against her neck. “I’m so sorry.”
He held her tighter than he ever had before, and Fallon could feel all the anger and frustration radiating off of him.
But she also felt the vulnerability and couldn’t help but wrap her arms around him and simply hold him for as long as he needed.
Several minutes passed, and when he lifted his head, he looked completely remorseful. “I never should have lost it like that. I know you’re only trying to help. This entire situation is…”
“I know,” she interrupted as she caressed his jaw, soothing him. “I know.”
“You’ve been nothing but good to me and you didn’t deserve that.” Taking her hands in his, he slowly backed into the house. “I need you, Fallon. So much.”
While she knew sex wouldn’t solve anything, she felt like maybe right now they both needed to feel close to each other—to have that connection and know that they were alright.