“Well, to be fair, he was really not himself tonight. I think we all had a moment or two when we wanted to either shake him, slap him, or strangle him,” Ryleigh said with a small laugh. “I couldn’t believe how long it took to talk things through.”
Fallon desperately wanted to ask what they talked about and if they got him to change his mind, but she was almost afraid of the answer.
“Was Ryker okay with you staying there tonight?” she asked instead.
“Of course. I mean…he’s not thrilled, but he knew there was no way I’d be able to go home and relax. He offered to stay with me, but after seeing how small the bed was in Asher’s room, we both realized he wouldn’t even fit in it.”
The image made Fallon laugh. “Yeah, it’s not bad for one person, but it’s definitely not made for two. No matter how much you like to snuggle.”
“Exactly.” She sighed. “So…what happens now? Do you want to come back tomorrow? Do you need a few days? Or are you just done?”
“Honestly, Ryleigh, I’m not sure. I’m so in love with Asher and want to be there with him, but with things being over with Jamie, I’m not sure it’s such a good idea.”
“Fallon, come on. The two of you had a fight. All couples fight. And the two of you have been fighting with each other for over twenty years. Take a few days to relax and regroup, and then the two of you should sit down and talk.”
It all sounded completely logical, but…
“Can I ask you something?”
“Absolutely,” Ryleigh said confidently.
“Did you purposely reach out to me to help Jamie because I was the only one available, or did you have ulterior motives?”
“I’m not sure what you’re implying.”
Ugh…she hated that Jamie got in her head. And what was worse was how she was now doubting Ryleigh—who she always considered to be a good friend.
So who am I supposed to believe?
At her hesitation, Ryleigh tried to bring the subject back a few paces. “Would you consider just going back as Asher’s nanny? Like if Jamie knew to just let the personal aspect of your relationship go until you were ready to talk about it, would you do it?”
“It’s hard to say right now what I’m going to do, but the practical side of me is saying that we originally agreed to me helping him out for three weeks and…we went a little over that. He knew he was going to have to find someone to take over at that point.”
“Okay, I get that, but…have you found another job?”
“I had a phone interview earlier today, but it wasn’t something I was too excited about. And I’m not going to find something to get excited about if I stay on taking care of Asher. I adore that boy and the longer I stay, the less I’m going to want to leave.”
“Yeah, I get that. He’s so freaking adorable, and just holding him makes me want to have one of my own.” She paused. “But…you and Jamie? I hate to think of this being over between the two of you.”
“Which brings me back to my question: What was your motivation for asking me to be the one to come and help Jamie out?”
Ryleigh sighed. “At first, it was legit just about you being available and having the background in early childhood stuff and I remembered how much you used to babysit, so I knew you could handle the position. It wasn’t until I was around the two of you that I got hopeful. I’d been noticing Jamie’s reaction to you for a while, but that didn’t play into why I thought of you. Believe me, there was nothing nefarious about my reaching out. And, if anything, Jamie was the one who brought up the two of you getting together for Asher’s sake.”
Shit.
That’s what she was afraid of.
“Oh.”
Muttering a curse, Ryleigh tried to backpedal a bit. “What I mean is…we were talking the day of the barbecue and I mentioned how he was going to need to settle down a bit and maybe think about having someone here full time. You know, not like a nanny, but a partner. A wife. And he thought I was hinting at the two of you, and…”
“It’s okay, Ryleigh. It just proves my point on what I was asking him earlier and he got super defensive. This just confirms that I wasn’t crazy.”
“Look, my brother is a lot of things, but he’s not manipulative and he’s not a schemer. If he was with you, it was because he wanted to be and not because of some stupid idea I put in his head.”
If only she were right…
“You’re wrong, Ry. While Jamie’s not your typical manipulator and he doesn’t do it to be harmful, he knows how to use his charm to get what he wants.” Closing her eyes, Fallon willed herself not to cry. “And after years of making fun of the girls who fell for that charm, I ended up falling victim to it too. So…”
“Fine, he’s a flirt and a charmer, and he just can’t seem to help himself, but you have to know it was different with you. The two of you have a history. This whole thing had to catch you both off guard and, if you’re brutally honest with yourself, you know my brother would never marry you or anyone else if he didn’t want to. I may have told him he needed to settle down, but he wouldn’t do that just because I told him to. Besides being charming, he’s stubborn.”
That was true…
“You know what? I’ll tell you exactly what I told Jamie earlier. I can’t help but notice how the timing of our relationship falls into that timeline. Putting all of that together, the man I’ve been living with—sleeping with—and the man standing before me are two very different men. And I don’t particularly care for this one.” She let out a long breath. “I understand that there were extenuating circumstances today. I really do. But…I just need some time to let it all sink in.”
“But…”
Fallon couldn’t help but chuckle. “Yup. There’s always a but.”
“I have a feeling this one isn’t a good but.”
“Would you want to be in a relationship where you felt like you were the convenient choice?” she asked sadly. “Would you settle for second place?”
“It wouldn’t be like that…”
“But I’ll never know, will I? I’ll always be wondering if Jamie and I would even be a thing if we hadn’t been forced together the way we were. If there were no Asher, would he ever have even tried to look at me as a woman rather than the pain in the ass he grew up with?”
“Damn.”
“Believe me, I know.”
“This sucks.”
“I know that too.”
“Fallon, I just…I wish…”
“Yeah,” she said wearily. “Me too.”
They were both silent for several long moments. “So what happens now?”
“Now…I’m going to probably cry myself to sleep, spend all day tomorrow feeling sorry for myself while eating all the junk food I can get my hands on, and then…I’ll put some serious time into looking for a new job that maybe isn’t so close to Laurel Bay.” The nervous laugh was out before she could stop it. “I guess I got a little too ahead of myself on that one.”
“No,” Ryleigh said quietly. “You didn’t. You were in love and trying to plan for your future.”