Fuck it.
I knew where I had to go, someplace where I felt free, or at least some semblance of free.
Taking the steps toward the exit, I texted my driver, telling him my destination.
No more voyeur for me. No more fascination with the lifestyle that called to me. No more fear of exploring what lurked inside me.
I planned to live in the moment.
Now, I only had to find the right someone to introduce me to the many facets of this new territory.
CHAPTER TWO
I studied my reflection in the mirror across from me one last time, giving my face a once over from all angles and then stepping back.
There was freedom in the exchange of control. Of power. Or so I’d heard.
I wouldn’t know, as I lived a life playing on a knife’s edge.
The wild child, the party girl, the disappointment no one could bring to heel. Those were the terms used to describe me.
Who was Sophia Donatella Morelli?
With any luck, I’d find out tonight. No matter what, I’d keep searching until I discovered the girl hidden deep inside me and set her free. I’d tell her she was safe and could be herself without consequences.
Wasn’t that why I’d gone to my brother Lucian’s club? Why I stood here in one of Violent Delights’ dressing rooms, preparing to join the patrons of the establishment?
This club called to something in me. It was a hedonistic and strictly forbidden space reserved for those with certain mindsets and varying palates of desires. I relished my time here, whereas I’d despised every second spent at the Stingers Lounge.
I smoothed out the silk accents on the form-fitting bustier I’d custom-designed to fit the curves of my body and adjusted the garter belts and stocking on my thighs.
If my mother saw me in this, would it scandalize her? Or would she shake her head and wonder where she’d gone wrong with me?
More than likely, the latter.
Sarah Morelli had given up on me a long time ago. She’d rather believe the worst than come to me even once and ask if any of the rumors about me were true. When in all actuality, the things posted about me were purely fabricated ninety-nine percent of the time.
I embodied the black jewel nestled among her sea of pure white diamonds. She’d never believe that I was probably the most innocent of her precious daughters. But, then again, the perceptions about me became a reality when one was the nonconformist in the Morelli household. I’d rather push back than continually have my voice silenced.
Shake it off, Sophia. This wasn’t the time for a pity party.
Turning, I closed my eyes for the briefest moments to release all the tension in my body. Finally, after a few breaths, I had my confidence firmly in place and stepped out of the door.
An air of dripping sensuality engulfed me as I walked down one of the private hallways decorated in rich splashes of blues, maroons, and shades of gold.
Tonight, I planned to enjoy, watch, and forget about anything the outside world believed about me. I wasn’t Sophia Morelli. I was just a masked woman exploring.
Who was I kidding?
As Lucian’s sister, I couldn’t disappear here even if I tried. And I’d tried, even going as far as to wear a wig and colored contacts on my first visit. But my status as the owner’s sibling came out to the club patrons before I’d stepped into the lounge.
I’d considered visiting other clubs but decided against it. No matter how hard I tried, my celebrity status posed a risk I couldn’t shed.
At least here, I was safe.
I wouldn’t have to worry about tabloids, gossip, photographs, or invasion of my privacy.
There were ways to protect myself, but sometimes not having to stay on alert was a nice change of pace.
Over the years, I’d let my guard down too many times, only to regret it later.
Plus, I knew Lucian preferred that I explore things about myself in the walls of his club versus someone else’s.
I know what he would do—to anyone who dared to cross the line when it came to me.
Using the word unhinged when describing his temper wouldn’t do him justice.
Thank God he no longer monitored the club every night. He preferred to spend time at home with his wife, Elaine, and their children. No little sister wanted to venture into their older brother’s kink club and then run into said big bro there or even worse, have him witness her first foray from spectator to participant.
I entered the vast expanse of the lounge. Immediately, my skin prickled with awareness, and energy pulsed all around me. The strategic placement of unique furniture and styling gave the area the ambiance of multiple rooms. Allowing a variety of groups to mingle and relax without feeling they were right on top of each other.
A shiver slid down my spine, and my skin prickled as if a predator watched me.
This never happened any of the other three times I’d visited the club. Then again, I’d never wanted to experience the pleasure available here to this level. Those other times, I enjoyed watching and losing myself in the beauty of the public scenes. They drew me and pulled at a part of me I rarely allowed free.
However, tonight there was something, this unexplainable urgency, to delve into the world firsthand.
Maybe the mix of what happened earlier in the evening with the need to feel something other than the expectations drove me.
To lose myself for one night before returning to my everyday life of being a persona non grata.
I scanned the room, noticing a few stares in my direction, but none connected with the sensations currently stirring inside me.
That this unknown feeling aroused me more than scared me made no damn sense.
A cocktail. That’s what I needed—something to take the edge off. Then I’d figure out what had riled my senses.
Strolling to the bar in the far corner of the room, I slipped onto a barstool.
“Welcome back, gorgeous.” The handsome blond bartender, Tate, said.
He gave me a dazzling smile, setting a cocktail napkin in front of me.
“Dirty martini with extra olives, am I correct?” He set a martini glass on the prep station and waited for my answer.
“You remembered. I’m impressed.”
He winked. “That’s my job. I have to keep all the beautiful ladies happy.”
“Is that right? And it wouldn’t have to do with me being the boss’s sister?”
“Absolutely not. I play no favoritism at all. But I will if you give me the latest celebrity gossip.” His sheepish smile had me grinning back at him and relaxing.
The last time I’d visited the club, Tate and I’d spent most of the night sharing stories about our over-the-top encounters with A-listers.
“Honestly, I have nothing new to share. Just the same old, same old.”
He lifted a brow before he rested his arms on the bar and then set his chin on his hands. “Don’t be coy. Give me something.”
“Okay. Umm… You know that tabloid story about the fight for the pre-fashion week events?”
“You mean about the model who found out her designer boyfriend was sleeping with another model?”
“Yep?”
“All lies. It was a publicity stunt to get people to the fashion show. They are a throuple. Have been one for as long as I can remember.”
The shock on Tate’s face was almost comical.
“Wow. I can’t believe I fell for that. But, you know,” Tate paused, tapping his lip. “Now that I think about it. I’ve seen them all together for years. Well, don’t I feel stupid?”