“Of course, and which one do you prefer?” Sibel asked.
“It doesn’t matter, since I made a choice that put us on different pathways.”
“You don’t know that.” Sibel hesitated. “Did anybody mention anything about him having a partner?”
“Nobody said anything, but he did arrive alone. All I heard was something about searching for a dog, but that makes no sense, so I must have heard wrong.”
“He could still be partnered up. She could be working. She could be busy. She could be doing all kinds of stuff.”
“Thanks for that mental image, but I’m trying to stay positive.”
“Why? You’ve already said you walked away.”
“I haven’t completely walked away,” she snapped at her sister’s quick grin. “I don’t need you to be difficult too. I’m already struggling enough with this.”
“I get that.” Her sister studied her carefully. “But don’t hide your feelings because you don’t want to open up to something that might hurt you again.”
“Why not? Self-preservation and all that?”
“Because you’re hurting when he isn’t here too.” Sibel frowned. “And, if you’re not prepared to do something about it, then you at least need to get out and need to find somebody else.”
Ainsley stared at Sibel for a long moment. “That’s not so easy to do.”
“No, you’ve tried it a couple times, but I’m not sure you ever gave it a lot of effort.”
“There was too much effort required in most cases, and none of that matters.”
“It all matters, Ainsley. However, if you won’t fight for what you really want, then you deserve to get second-best. And, hey, if you’re happy with second-best, which you obviously aren’t, then take a look around. There are a lot of good eligible men. But remember that second-best is just that, … second-best.” With that, she walked into the kitchen to start dinner.
Ainsley knew what Sibel was trying to do, and Ainsley didn’t appreciate it. Yet stopping Sibel was almost impossible. Sibel would say that Ainsley’s life needed fixing, but Ainsley would say it was past fixing, that nothing was left to fix anymore.
She didn’t even know if that was true or not; it’s just how she felt. She didn’t even know what she’d expected when she found out that Kascius was coming back. There’d been no warning, no time to prepare mentally. It was a case of hearing only yesterday that he was coming in, and suddenly there he was. But he’d always been a traveler, always somebody who wanted to go out into the world and do things.
At the time, she wanted to stay home to recover from her brother’s death. She had been mentally and physically exhausted … and fed up. She thought she would be married by that time, and to find out that Kascius had been planning on doing a lot of traveling, potentially without her, had been quite disturbing. Even now that she understood that he hadn’t meant without her, still, she’d had no idea that he was even contemplating joining the United States military, for God’s sake. He had enlisted out of the blue after their last blowup, for which she took full blame, and he was gone.
She hadn’t had a chance to see him or to talk to him since. Now he was such a different person that she wasn’t even sure she could talk to him anymore. It wasn’t that he was intimidating, but then she stopped herself. “Hell yes, he’s intimidating.”
He’d always been big, brawny, and tough. Somebody who could handle everything in life. Yet, at the time, she’d still been a child in so many ways. She had nobody to blame for that last blowup but herself.
Her sister called out, “Dinner is ready, if you want to eat something.”
Ainsley groaned. “I’m not hungry.”
Sibel poked her head around the corner. “Maybe you aren’t, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t eat. You still have a job to maintain, even if it’ll be a little more difficult than you thought.”
She stared at her sister. “I don’t understand why he had to come back now.” She walked into the kitchen. “I had finally adjusted to the fact that I would never see him again.”
“Maybe it’s a good thing that he did come back. Maybe this time you can deal with it and then write him off permanently.”
Kascius woke up the next morning with a weird sense of strangeness. He’d checked in with Badger the night before, but—outside of seeing his mother, having a late dinner, and visiting with the family—Kascius hadn’t had a chance to do anything else. But he was fully determined to change that this morning.
He quickly showered and headed to the kitchen. He knew his brother Liam would already be out on the farm. Sure enough, Emily was here, having a cup of coffee with Ainsley. He stopped, his steps faltering, as he realized she would be a mainstay in the house, then gave a mental shrug. He smiled at his sister-in-law. “How’s the baby today?”
“Active.” She wore a big smile as she patted her stomach. “That’s a good thing.”
“Absolutely.” He walked over and poured himself a coffee.
Emily added, “I didn’t know what you wanted to do about breakfast.”
“Anything is fine, and I can make it myself, so why don’t you sit there and tell me what I can have.”
She laughed. “Whatever’s in the fridge, feel free.”
He opened the fridge, then grabbed some bacon and eggs, then turned and looked at Emily. “Have you eaten?”
“No, not really.”
“So, can I make you some bacon and eggs?” Quite surprised, Emily nodded. He looked over at Ainsley. “Would you want some?”
“I have eaten, but thanks.”
He nodded and proceeded to cook eggs and bacon for the two of them. He popped in some toast, and, as he was finishing, the back door opened, and his middle brother walked in.
Liam took one look at him in the kitchen and chuckled. “All those years in the war and you learned how to cook, huh?”
“No, all those years of living on my own, in between the years in the war.” He gave his brother a grin. “How are things going out there?”
“Same old, same old,” Liam replied. “Did you get any sleep?”
“Yeah, I slept well. I checked in with my bosses, and, right after breakfast, I’ll be heading out.”
“Okay.” Liam hesitated, before adding, “It’s a strange assignment, isn’t it?”
“It sure is. I mostly volunteered because it would bring me back to Scotland.”
“Did you need a job to come back?” Emily looked at him in horror.
“No, not at all.” He laughed. “It was time.”
“Absolutely it was time.” She spoke with a firm note in her voice, then cast an awkward glance over at Ainsley. “We’re glad to have you back.”
He nodded, then placed a full plate in front of Emily. “You eat up now.”
She looked at it with a chuckle. “I get that I’m supposed to be eating for two but not for two horses.”
“That’s all right. Whatever is left, I’ll take.” And, with that, Kascius sat down, completely ignoring Ainsley, then dug into his food.