Honey huffed. “Seriously, Daddy. I told you it wasn’t his fault. My IUD fell out.”
“Argh. My ears. Daisy,” the man bellowed his way into the kitchen.
Honey sighed. “I’m sorry.”
“For what? The fact your parents are overprotective?”
“No, not sorry for that. It kind of comes with the whole being-with-me package. I am apologizing for what they’re about to do next.”
She didn’t elaborate. He experienced it at the dinner table as he got grilled on his life, his prospects—
“So a security guard for a marijuana shop. Not exactly lofty goals.”
“An apartment is much too small for a growing family.”
—bank account—
“You’d think a man your age would have put more away.”
—and his intentions.
“Have you been married? What do you think of marriage? Kids? The church?”
He gladly replied over the most delicious roast he’d ever had in his life
When Mrs. Iris point-blank said, “I can’t believe my daughter is going to have a bastard,” Ulric slipped from his chair and pulled a box from his pocket, the one he’d kept stashed in the dash since Quinn went for a visit to Ottawa. Ulric got him to bring his mother’s old wedding bands, passed down in the family and glittering after soaking in Coke for a day.
He hit a knee and kept it simple. “I love you. Marry me.”
22
Honey pretended to think about it.
Daddy thought it was funny to whisper, “He’s only doing it ‘cause he knows I’ll bring out the shotgun.”
Which led to Mommy tossing a Yorkshire pudding at her husband, who caught it and exclaimed, “Don’t be throwing good food away. I was planning on having this for lunch tomorrow.”
Leaning her forehead against Ulric’s, Honey murmured, “You sure you still want to marry me after having seen my family is majorly crazy?”
“I will always want to be with you.”
Her yes was a kiss, which led to gagging from Daddy and drama as he clutched his chest, gasping, “My heart.”
Mommy slapped him on her way to hug Honey and exclaimed, “I’ll call Yvette for a dress appointment in the morning.”
“We have to leave in the morning,” Honey announced. “I have to be somewhere by midafternoon.”
“Leave?” Mommy’s shoulders flattened. “But you just got here.”
“Because you faked an injury. However, it doesn’t change the fact I was in the middle of something.” Honey stood her ground because she knew to waver would lead to her parents dominating.
Mommy tried. “More important than family?”
“I’ve got my own family to take care of now.” She put a hand on her stomach, which led to her mother harrumphing.
Her father chimed in. “I will call the church and get the first available Saturday.”
“The first?” Honey squeaked. “Isn’t that fast?”
“If you wanted leisurely, you should have kept your legs shut. If you can’t stay, I’ll take measurements and have Yvette put something together with flounces we can adjust in case you actually start eating right.”
Flounces? “I can shop for my own dress.”
“You do that while I find a venue to accommodate on short notice. It will need to seat at least two hundred. But that would really be trimming the list.”
“Can’t we do something simple?” Honey lamented.
Mommy and Daddy both laughed.
Ulric leaned close to whisper, “Okay, now I’m freaked out.”
“This is just the start,” was her ominous reply.
They didn’t really get a chance to speak alone until Daddy went out for a cigarette and Mommy went looking for her wedding binder, which she’d been keeping since Honey was a kid.
“Exactly how fancy are we looking at for this wedding?” he asked when she collapsed against him.
“Tux. White dress. Church—”
“Church? But we’re not religious.”
“Neither are they, but they do like to follow certain traditions. Should have seen my dad lose it when the church we used regularly refused to marry his older sister, Kay, and her partner, Leanne. By the time my dad was done freaking out, Pastor Frank decided it was best he transferred to another parish.”
“Is this your way of telling me he wasn’t joking about a shotgun wedding?”
“You could always refuse and he’ll get the shovel,” she added with a grin.
“As if I wanted to escape. You’re stuck with me, Bee.” He nuzzled her neck, and she sighed against him.
“Thanks for bringing me. I know you didn’t really want to.”
“You’d have never forgiven me if something happened to your parents.”
“My parents, who should have been terrible actors.” She glared at the walls as if she could see and laser them through it.
“Is this a taste of them as grandparents?”
“Actually, they will be great grandparents. I can see them stealing the child often, giving us alone time. Spoiling it rotten. But when it comes to being in-laws…” She shook her head. “Sorry to say you’re screwed.”
“Don’t be so sure. I thought we were getting along pretty good there at the end.”
“That’s just how they suck you in. Be on guard. Oh, and don’t make a big deal of the fact you have to sleep on the couch. My mom told me that until we were married, it was her job to chaperone us.”
“Kind of late, isn’t it?”
“That’s what I said. But she wouldn’t budge.”
“At least you argued. Your dad told me if he caught me in your room, they would not find enough of me to identify.” At the time, they’d been puffing on an after-dinner cigar that really tasted good after that epic feast. Who knew a nicely rolled stogy went well with the glass of port?
“He said what?”
“It’s no big deal, Bee. Just guy talk.”
“That’s all you have to say? Aren’t you a little freaked out? I mean you were told to marry me, or my dad will hunt you down and shoot you.”
A grin tugged his lips. “Is it weird I like that about him? I mean, if I had a daughter, I’d probably do the same thing.”
“Do you want a girl?”
“Only if she’s just like you.”
“A nerd?” she teased.
“Is that what they call perfection?”
“I’m going to miss snuggling,” she murmured, her head leaning against him.
“At least it’s just for one night.”
“Maybe two.”
“What?”
She bit her lip. “Mom really wants to go dress shopping tomorrow. She’s determined to have us wed before the baby pops.”
He wanted to remind her the full moon was tomorrow night, but in this moment, he wanted to keep her happy and excited. Shopping for a wedding dress would only make what he knew official. “Go shopping. But stick to public places.”
She stared at him before throwing herself in his arms for a kiss. “I love you,” she murmured against his mouth.