“I think I’d like a moment,” I said. “Alone.”
“Sure,” Harriet said.
She didn’t meet my eye, and I felt the chasm between us widening. The distrust growing. That had always been my one constant—Harriet and her belief in me. In us. But now I saw that even that was shaky. Even that could break.
* * *
I dropped down into the seat behind Cal. Everyone else was getting ready for our first run-through in the new space. But this needed to be dealt with. Now.
“What are you doing?” I demanded.
He didn’t look up from his script.
“My job. Directing this show,” he said. “Speaking of, aren’t you supposed to be backstage, waiting for your cue?”
“The candy, Cal,” I said. “What the fuck?”
“You have an interesting way of saying thank you,” he said.
“Harriet thinks we’re sleeping together,” I said. “Or will be doing so imminently.”
He immediately put his script down and turned toward me.
“What is wrong with you?” he hissed. “Keep your voice down.”
I threw up my hands in frustration.
“Oh, now you care about discretion.”
I could see a vein in his temple ticking.
“Candy in your dressing room is not the same as shouting in a theatre with amazing acoustics.”
“I was not shouting,” I said. “Don’t make this into a thing where I’m being hysterical and you’re being normal.”
Cal didn’t say anything, but his expression indicated that was exactly what he was thinking.
“We despise each other,” I said.
“We do not,” he said.
His gaze dropped down to my mouth. My knees got all trembly. I wanted to slap him.
“Well, I despise you,” I said.
“No, you don’t,” Cal said. “I think you might actually like me.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” I said.
Even after the kiss, we’d still managed to keep our distance from each other during rehearsals, speaking to each other only when necessary and exchanging as few words as possible. I’d held my tongue. A lot.
He shrugged. “Things change.”
“Because you kissed me,” I said.
“I think you kissed me,” he said.
I was going to climb across the seats and strangle him. He was not taking this seriously.
“It doesn’t matter,” I said through gritted teeth. It absolutely did matter—he was wrong, but I didn’t have time to deal with that now. “You’re treating me differently because of it.”
“Kathleen,” Cal said, “we were being unprofessional. The kiss was unprofessional.”
“I know,” I said.
I didn’t appreciate his tone. I didn’t need to be spoken to like I was a naughty child. If anything, he had behaved just as inappropriately—maybe even more so.
“I was hoping to start over,” he said. “Treat these performances like a reset.”
As if it were that easy. As if it just took some fucking candy to make everything okay.
“All you accomplished is making Harriet suspicious.”
“You didn’t tell her about the kiss?” he asked.
“No! Of course not. I didn’t tell anyone.” I looked at him. “Did you?”
“No,” he said. “But you and Harriet are…close.”
“She’s my best friend,” I said. “And if you recall, the one person who stood with me after everything happened.”
I could see Cal clench his jaw. He clearly didn’t like being reminded of that. No doubt it was counter to his “good guy” self-image. I didn’t much care at the moment.
“Exactly,” Cal said. “I figured you told her everything.”
“Well, I don’t,” I said. “And I’m glad I didn’t because the candy on its own was enough to make her freak out that I—that we—are going to put the show in jeopardy.”
God. Saying it out loud made it hurt even more.
“That’s not going to happen,” Cal said. “It was one kiss. It’s not going to happen again.”
He sounded confident, but he was still staring at my mouth.
“No candy,” I said. “No special treatment.”
“I was just trying to be nice,” he said.
“Well stop it,” I said. “You’re not nice.”
“I am,” he insisted.
“Not to me,” I countered.
He thought about it.
“Fine,” he said. “No candy.”
I could only hope it would be as easy as that.
CHAPTER 21
“Are you sure this is how you want to spend your birthday?” Harriet asked.
“For the last time,” I said, “yes. This is exactly what I want to be doing tonight.”
Harriet shrugged and climbed onto the bed, where I’d set up a truly disgusting amount of candy and popcorn.
We were in Edinburgh, and it was wonderfully cold out, and Harriet had come all the way from New York, and I had the night off, and I had very specific plans for how I wanted to spend it. Which mostly involved eating a lot and not leaving the super luxe hotel suite I’d been given.
“Guessing none of the guys are coming?” Harriet asked.
“I invited them all,” I said. “LC said he might stop by.”
I had been trying to get Harriet and LC to spend some time together. The more I got to know him, the more I was convinced that he’d be a great match for Harriet. He was cute and smart—loved history as well—and besides Cal, he was the only one of the guys who didn’t roll his eyes and pretend to gag every time I talked about musical theatre.
“Kathleen”—Harriet shook her head—“I don’t need a boyfriend. Especially one that’s on tour year-round.”
I knew she had a point, but I also secretly hoped that if she started dating LC then she’d put her New York plans on hold and travel with us for the rest of the tour. I missed her. A lot.
Things were just easier when she was here.