“Agreed,” Damien said, then turned to Ollie, his eyes full of compassion. “How are you holding up?” he asked as Trevor joined the group.
Ollie forced himself not to reach for Trevor’s hand. He’d just returned from the first floor and was now standing close enough that Ollie could smell his cologne. He wanted to lean in. He wanted Trevor to put his arm around his waist and tug him close, sharing his strength and offering support. Instead, there was nothing but air between them.
He swallowed, then shrugged, not able to find the words. “I’m worried. For that matter, I’m terrified. But we’ve got good people working this. Don’t worry,” he said, speaking to both Damien and Ryan. “I’m not going to be a liability. I know how to do my job, too.”
“No one’s worried about that, Ollie,” Damien said, his voice as gentle as when he spoke to his kids. “And you’re allowed to be scared. I learned that one the hard way.”
Yeah, he had. “Sorry,” Ollie said. “I wasn’t thinking. You’ve had someone you love kidnapped, too. Hell of a fraternity.”
“Isn’t it just?”
Damien put a supportive hand on Ollie’s shoulder, then tilted his head. “I’m going to go see if there’s anything the folks downstairs need before the briefing. Nikki’s out with Bree and the kids. They’re hurrying back. I’m sure she’ll find you as soon as she gets here.”
“Actually, I’ll walk with you. There’s something I want to ask you.” He gave Trevor a quick smile—wishing it could be a quick kiss—then fell in step with Damien.
“What’s on your mind?” Damien asked, pausing in the third-floor kitchen area. Nikki had told him that Damien had originally intended it to be a workspace for caterers, with the real kitchen down on the first floor. Instead, it had become the hub for their family.
Ollie pinched the bridge of his nose. “I hate to ask, but I want all bases covered, and in the end we may have no choice but to pay the ransom. If things go south, we might not get it back again.” He drew in a breath. “It’s a big ask—three million—but it’s Courtney.”
The kidnapper had left a note in the front seat of Courtney’s Toyota, along with her cell phone. Three million to be delivered by Ollie himself or else she died. The drop point, it said, would come later.
Ollie hesitated, catching a glimpse of Trevor walking by. Then he forced his mind back on task, wondering if there would ever come a time when he wasn’t distracted by the man. “Anyway,” he continued. “Will you put it up? I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to repay you, but—”
“Ollie,” Stark said gently. “I know it hasn’t always been smooth sailing between us, but at the very least, I thought you were smarter than that.”
Ollie blinked, not sure if he’d just been insulted. “I’m only—”
“It will be here within the hour. Two bags. Unmarked bills. And you’re a fool if you think I’d ever expect you to pay me back.”
“But—”
“What I do with my money is my call. And as I’m rather fond of fucking my wife, I’d like to stay on her good side and not leave one of her best friends hanging.”
He grinned as Ollie rolled his eyes. “Nice, Stark. Real nice.”
“Nothing that was news to you,” he retorted, and actually made Ollie laugh. That, of course, had been his intent.
“You’re okay, Stark. I may deny I said that a year from now, but right now, you’re definitely not the shit I used to think you were.”
“And from you, my friend, that is high praise, indeed.”
* * * *
He found Trevor in the thick of it, moving among his people with a confident demeanor that added the right energy to the room. It certainly helped Ollie’s mood. This was a man who got things done.
He’d known that already, of course. Not only had he enjoyed a view from the sidelines once or twice when Trevor worked—or ran—various SSA operations, but after they became friends, Trevor would talk to him about assignments, and Ollie would do the same, at least as much as protocol allowed.
They’d bonded over their stories and, oddly, over a talent for charades. They’d attended a party together, had paired up, then kicked every other team’s ass.
That might have been the night he’d fallen in love.
Love.
Holy shit, it truly was. And how fucking terrifying was that?
Except lately, it was becoming less terrifying. On the contrary, it had become downright appealing.
And, of course, he’d seen Trevor’s skill in both managing and working a case when they’d gone in together for the Mercury money laundering operation. Ollie might have already fallen hard for Trevor by that time—not that he’d told a soul—but that was the operation where he realized it wasn’t just mental.
He’d wanted Trevor. To touch. To kiss. And, yeah, to fuck.
He’d sat in the audience, pretending to be a drunk patron as he watched Trevor strip down to nothing but a g-string, and he’d gotten hard.
It had been mortifying. No, it had been terrifying.
It had been electrifying.
But after a few days, those emotions had been replaced by something else. Not lust, but need. His mind already knew he needed Trevor in his life as a friend. Now, his body and his heart wanted so much more.
The knowing helped. That certainty of what and who he wanted.
Even now, though, there was an unease. It wasn’t because Trevor was a guy. Ollie could give a flying fuck who anyone slept with so long as they were of-age and consenting. No, what still sort of bothered Ollie wasn’t that he wanted Trevor—and god how he wanted him—but that he was meeting an Ollie he’d never known before. And how had he made it all the way into his thirties without having any idea that he was attracted to men?
He didn’t have a clue about that, but he told himself it didn’t matter. Why should it? The only important thing was Trevor. And as he looked at Trevor standing at the front of the room, confident and in charge, he couldn’t remember ever being with anyone who gave him quite the same gut punch. He’d fallen hard, but it hadn’t been fast. And he’d left Trevor hanging for far too long.
Earlier, he’d shown him how he felt.
Tonight, he needed to tell him.
He saw the instant that Trevor noticed him in the room. He’d paused in his conversation with Denny, a lithe blonde who was one of the sharpest agents at the SSA and pretty much a savant with anything tech. Now, he looked up, met Ollie’s eyes, and flashed a quick grin.
That was all it took for Ollie to feel his cock tighten. God, he was a goner.
Was he really ready for this? Ready for what he wanted?
He was.
They’d been dancing around this for ages, hadn’t they? Friends? They were way more than friends. But the heart of their relationship had always been buried under the surface. Today, they’d finally pulled it to the top. And that was exactly where it needed to be. Especially now, when Ollie knew that he’d need all his strength to get through this ordeal—and Trevor’s strength, too.
Courtney might not be the love of his life, but she was special to him. And he intended to do whatever it took to make sure she came home safe.