“I don’t know,” he finally said. “What if that was it and we’re done? What if he regrets it? I mean, we didn’t even—you know—do anything. What with Horowitz pounding on the door. But, I don’t know. What if he regrets it?”
Jamie’s eyes widened. “Why would he?”
Ollie shrugged. He’d felt a distance since they’d been pulled to Stark’s Malibu fortress. Maybe it was his imagination, but what if it wasn’t?
“You’re a dufus,” Jamie said, after he managed to—poorly—articulate his thoughts.
“Um, hello? I thought this talk was all about supporting your best friend.”
“Yeah, not so much,” Jamie said. “This is the reality check conversation, not the support convo. In this chat, you tell us the truth, and we sling truth right back at you.”
She leaned toward him. “So, here’s the deal. You told us that you had the best time of your life with the guy, and that’s without doing all the things. And, by the way, I’m not taking that whole best thing personally. But maybe that’s the problem.”
He furrowed his brow, trying desperately to translate Jamie Logic. But it was Nikki who voiced the question. “What the fuck, James? I haven’t got a clue what you’re trying to say.”
Jamie rolled her eyes, then locked them on Ollie. “You two came straight here from being all hot and sweaty and fast on your way to Happyland, right?”
He shifted on the chaise, a little uncomfortable with this whole conversation, then reluctantly answered. “Yeah. I told you.”
“And yet you’ve barely even looked at the guy since you got here.”
The words were like a punch in the face. It was true. Whether from general insecurity, an inability to deal with his feelings, rampant confusion, or just generally being a prick, he’d barely even acknowledged Trevor over the last few hours.
He glanced at Nikki, who nodded.
He closed his eyes. “God, I’m a jerk.”
“No,” Nikki said, reaching for his hand, then squeezing his fingers. “Maybe a little, but cut yourself some slack. You’re overwhelmed. You’re dealing with Courtney’s kidnapping and with, well, all of this. It’s been like five seconds. But Courtney used to be your fiancée. You two have a complicated history. It makes sense you’re confused, even standoffish. But from his side, that’s gotta hurt.”
“You’ve both been paying attention?” The idea was both baffling and completely unsurprising.
“Duh,” Jamie chimed in. “And we were starting to wonder if maybe we were wrong about you two.”
“I wish you’d talked to me before. I could have used an ear or two.”
“That goes both ways,” Nikki said.
“Touché.” He grinned at both of them, realizing he felt lighter than he had since Horowitz had pounded on the door. “You know, you both spend way too much time thinking about my sex life.”
“Is that all it is? Sex?” Nikki asked.
“No.” It was the easiest answer in the world. “No, and I’ll rip my own heart out if I’ve hurt him.” He sighed, feeling a little bit like an idiot for being so twisted up. “This shouldn’t be weird or awkward. Why can’t people just love who they love?”
“Love?” Nikki asked.
Ollie shrugged. “I’m just making a point.”
The women exchanged a knowing look. “It’s sweet,” Nikki said.
“And you fell in love with him long before you fucked him.” Jamie grinned. “That’s kind of rare within our trifecta.”
The three of them exchanged glances, then burst out laughing. “I love y’all,” Ollie said. “You know that, right?”
“Duh.”
“And I love Trevor. Or, I think I do.” He really did. The sex part might be new, but he’d been slowly falling for him for months. “Why am I getting so up into my head about this?”
“Because when you crossed the line toward sex, you shifted your reality.” Nikki shrugged. “Made you face the fact that you weren’t only attracted to women. You needed time to adjust. That’s all. I mean, come on. That’s normal.”
“I guess. But why should it matter in the first place?”
“It shouldn’t,” Nikki said firmly. “It doesn’t. And fuck anyone who tells you otherwise. But that doesn’t mean that you don’t need time to readjust. To see yourself through a different lens.”
“You’re right,” Ollie said. “And I’ll say it again. I love you two.”
“Of course you do,” Jamie said. “I mean, honestly. How could you not?”
Laughing, they headed back inside, only to freeze when Trevor came into view. He was standing in the third-floor open area not far from the painting of Nikki that Damien had paid a cool million for. And the moment Ollie caught sight of him, his heart started to do that fluttering thing that was so uniquely his reaction to Trevor.
“There you are. I was coming to tell you we’re meeting downstairs in five.”
“Sounds good,” Ollie said, as the women magically disappeared, leaving the two of them alone.
“You okay?” Trevor took a step closer, his brow furrowing.
Ollie shook his head. “I’m not at the top of my game. And I owe you an apology.”
He saw a muscle twitch in Trevor’s cheek. “Do you? Why?”
“You don’t have to pretend like I haven’t been an ass.” He reached out and took both Trevor’s hands in his own. “I’m so sorry. You probably thought I was avoiding you. I swear I’m not.”
Tension seemed to melt from Trevor’s body. “Good to know.” He drew in a breath, then exhaled, a smile warming his eyes. And in that moment, Ollie truly wanted to kick himself, because that’s when he realized just how much he’d wounded this man he would never, ever, intentionally hurt.
“And, yeah, I may have spent some time wondering if you’d had second thoughts,” Trevor admitted. “Fortunately, I have a kidnapping case to keep me busy.” The corner of his mouth ticked up. “Sorry. Bad taste. It’s just—”
“No,” Ollie said emphatically. “You don’t owe me an apology. This is on me. I guess I was parsing out the rules, maybe? Overthinking? Being an idiot?”
“Maybe a little of the latter,” Trevor said with a laugh. “I guess it’s a good thing you’re so cute.”
Relief flowed through him, as warm as sunshine. “I am, aren’t I?”
They shared a smile, holding each other’s eyes in a way that had Ollie wishing they could justify some down time. That, however, wasn’t on the agenda just yet.
“So how are things going downstairs?” Ollie asked.
“We’re making progress, but it’s slow. Not unexpected, of course, and you know the drill. But you haven’t lived it before.” He frowned. “Sorry. Actually, I guess you have.”
He was right about that. Ollie had come as soon as he’d learned about Anne’s kidnapping. And, of course, he was around when Nikki was taken. “Yeah, I have.”