Chapter Twenty-Four
Brendan
After getting the Petersons to cover the bar for me again tonight, I sit back down with Ruby.
We don’t speak to each other. Instead, we stare out the window into the vast backyard where the dogs are frolicking and the sun is beginning to set.
We watch the sun go down.
And we simply wait.
Until Ruby’s phone dings. She reads a text and then glances up at me. “They need you now. They need both of us.”
“Shouldn’t we wait for them to come out?”
“No. We need to go to them.”
I nod, rise, and follow Ruby down the hallway. She knocks lightly and then opens the door to what turns out to be a living room connected to the master suite.
Ryan sits on a recliner, and he rises when Ruby walks in.
On another recliner, separated from Ryan’s only by a table and lamp, sits Ava.
My sweet Ava, with all the color drained from her beautiful face, her eyes glassy.
“Baby?”
She looks up at me, her blue eyes wide. She’s not crying, but she clearly has been. Her nose is red, and her cheeks are stained with streaks from tears.
“Baby,” Ruby says, and I’m not sure whether she’s talking to her husband or to her daughter. “What have you done?”
“Only what we agreed I needed to do,” Ryan says.
“Oh, God… And she knows…” Ruby looks at her daughter, goes toward her, takes one of her hands. “My sweet Ava. How I wish this could’ve all been kept in the past.”
Ava doesn’t reply. She simply sniffles.
“You do understand that I was a police officer.”
Ava nods.
“I did what I had to do to save your father.”
“And you’ve lived with that for so long,” Ava finally speaks.
“Yes. And it’s always difficult to take a life. Even when you don’t have a choice, like I didn’t.”
“But apparently you didn’t take a life,” Ava says.
“No, I didn’t. And I have great feelings of ambivalence about that fact.”
Ava rises then and embraces her mother. “I’m so sorry, Mom.”
“You have no reason to be sorry about anything, Ava. None of this has anything to do with you, and if your father and I had had our way, you and your sister would never have had to know about the dark times in our past.”
I stand, not sure what to do. I have no idea what any of them are talking about, but Ava and I made a pact. No more secrets between us. Still, I won’t push her on this. Clearly she needs time. Time to process whatever her father has spent the last hour and a half telling her.
I cannot push her.
All I can do is be here for her, attend to whatever she needs.
When Ava finally lets go of her mother, she doesn’t come to me as I expect. She walks to her father and embraces him as well.
“This is more than I deserve, cupcake,” he says to her.
Ava says nothing, sniffles into her father’s shoulder for a moment until she pulls away. “You and Mom have lived through so much. So much. And then Uncle Talon, Dale and Donny… There’s so much I still don’t know. Why is our past so dark? So horrific?”
“I won’t lie to you. Wendy Madigan had a great deal to do with all of it. Probably more than I even know. More than your aunt and uncles know. But I think my father holds a lot of the blame as well.”
I’m beginning to feel like the fourth wheel in the room. I don’t know what they’re talking about—though I have a theory, which includes Wendy Madigan—and Ava doesn’t seem to need me. Until—
She steps out of her father’s embrace and comes to me. She touches my cheek lightly. “Brendan, please take me home.”
“Whatever you need, baby.”
“Ruby and I need you to take care of her, Brendan,” Ryan says.
“Of course. Whatever she needs.”
“What I’ve told my daughter, I’ve told her in confidence,” Ryan says, “except for you. I gave her the option to tell you if she wishes to. All I ask is that if she does, you also keep it in confidence.”
“Of course. You have my word.”
Ryan nods, and then he pats me on the back. “You’re a good man, Brendan. I’m sorry you’ve been dragged into this. I’m sorry Ava has been dragged into this. And I’m just so sorry for…”
“For what?”
“For what is inevitable,” he says. “For what is to come.”
Ava is quiet during our drive back to town. The sun has set, and the country roads seem darker than usual.
The sky isn’t cloudy at all, so I know it’s my imagination. Still, I feel the veil of darkness. I feel it surrounding Ava. Surrounding me. Surrounding us as we drive into town.
Curiosity nips at me. What did Ryan tell his daughter? And will she choose to tell me?
I vow again not to push her. I vow again to do only what she needs. Because I love her. Ava Steel has become the most important person in my life, and I will never let her down.
I pull into the alley behind the bakery, and then I see Ava to the door.
“What do you need, baby?” I ask.
“I know you have to get back to the bar, Brendan.”
“I don’t, actually. I got the Petersons and my father to fill in for the night. I’m all yours. Whatever you need, sweetheart. I’m here for you.”
“Oh, thank God…” She melts against me, and I gladly take her weight upon me.
Anything for my sweet Ava.
I take her key from her, unlock the door, and we walk into the bakery. The aromas of yeast and the warm cinnamon of the baklava she made two days ago waft toward us.
Tomorrow is Monday, of course, and she’ll need to get up early to begin the day. It’s not late, though. In fact, neither of us have eaten dinner.
“Are you hungry?” I ask.
“I may never eat again.”
I kiss her lips. “You’re going to need to eat something, sweetheart. Do you have anything in the house? If you don’t, I’ll go over to my place and pick up some supplies.”
“If you’re hungry, make yourself a sandwich. I have some meat in the refrigerator in the bakery. It has to be used up, as I’m getting a new shipment in tomorrow. It’s still good.”
“All right, baby. But I’m going to make you a sandwich as well.” I take her up to her apartment, make sure she’s okay, and then I go downstairs to the bakery, flick the lights on in the kitchen, and open the industrial refrigerator.
The deli meats—Steel Acres roast beef and Steel Acres London broil. Hedge Farms turkey and cracked pepper turkey. Dodge City Black Forest ham. She is running low. I don’t trust myself to fire up her industrial slicer, so I find a butcher knife and a cutting board, and I hack off turkey for both of us. After hearing about her little calf named Buster, I’m not sure I ever want to eat beef again. I can’t believe she still eats it. I add a slice of cheddar cheese and slap it all between slices of her day-old sourdough.
I add mayonnaise and mustard, and nothing else. Ava has already gotten rid of the produce in the industrial fridge. Fresh produce will be delivered tomorrow before lunch.