“But she is also involved in the fights?”
“She hates it. From the very start. She asked me to stop so many times. I didn’t listen. And then it got out of control.”
“Out of control?” I asked thinking about all those men in that basement. I didn’t catch it at the time, but later on I realized it looked well organized.
“Do you know who Patrick Hayes is?”
“No.”
“He’s an Irish mobster. He came to visit us a couple of times and then pronounced himself my partner. He promised me protection from the police.” Tyler tugged me closer to him by my hand. “Do you understand now? Why I did what I did in that basement?”
“I do,” I breathed out. Tyler’s hands started to shake.
“I love that kid and I have always dreaded the day I would have to tell him I was the reason his father would never chase him around the house. Or play football with him.” I started crying again. Tyler thumbs wiped my tears from my cheeks. “That was my only fear, up until the night I saw you in that basement. Looking at me like you hated me.” His throat bobbed. “I love you, Hannah.”
“Tyler,” I closed my eyes and shook my head.
“Just listen, okay? It wasn’t fast and it wasn’t pleasant, but I fell in love with you. And I know you deserve better. A clean breakup at the very least. But I don’t want to just let you go.” I looked him straight in the eye, debating if I should tell him what I was up to these days. “I’m done with the ring. I got out. And I have no more secrets. I swear.” I dropped my forehead down to his chest. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I shook my head, not lifting it up to look at him. “I’m leaving. In two weeks. I’m moving back to California.” I finally dared to glance at him. I couldn’t read his expression, so I continued. “I came to Boston because of you. Then I stayed because of college. A boyfriend here and there. Then I got that job with Amanda Reed. I convinced myself I could stay here. But I don’t want to be here anymore.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Not at all. I want to be close to my family. I want to go out with my best friend. I want to play with her baby,” I paused. “My apartment is already listed for sale.”
“You can come live with me.” A hysterical laugh came out of me. Tyler shot me an offended look. “I told you I loved you. You can’t leave now.”
“Excuse me?” I shot back outraged.
“You stayed here for six years. We barely saw each other and now that I tell you that I love you, you want to leave?”
“Yes.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
“It makes perfect sense to me.”
“I can’t come with you.” Tyler got in my face, his mouth an inch from mine. “You understand that now. I can’t leave.”
“I know,” I unglued myself from him and he released me from his grip. “It’s fine. You should do what you think is right for you. And I should do the same for me.” I took a few steps back, still facing him. “I’m sorry.”
Then I turned away and went inside my building. The first thing I did when I went upstairs, was to peek from my window. To see if he was still there. Waiting for me to change my mind.
He wasn’t.
Chapter Thirty-One
Tyler
I walked the streets for hours. Some part of me knew that Hannah had made the right choice for her. Another one however wanted me to march back over there, enter a full-blown stalker mode and follow her around for the next couple of weeks, begging her not to leave, until she caved.
She would probably consider that a harassment and not a romantic gesture, so I had to come up with something else.
I contemplated calling Clem. But then I remembered she had probably known Hannah was leaving and she told me to fight for her anyway. I would have to explain why I couldn’t follow her back to California. I couldn’t handle having to explain that twice in a row. I barely managed to have that conversation once.
That left me with only one place to go for advice.
I checked my phone. It was almost midnight. Completely inappropriate hour for a surprise visit. But it was overdue, so I decided I was going to break the etiquette and just arrive unannounced at the doorstep of the only friend I had left.
Chloe opened the door, shock written all over her face. After a long pause, she asked.
“Did someone die?”
I smiled. “No.”
“Are you dying?”
I shook my head, still smiling. “You begged for me to come over for so long, I decided to finally please you. Did I wake you?”
“Yeah,” she stepped aside and invited me in. I walked over to the first chair I saw and sat down.
“I’m fucked.”
“Hayes?”
I shook my head. “Hannah.”
“What happened?”
“I told her,” I scanned Chloe’s face for anger. Nothing. I clarified. “I told her about the night Liam was born.”
I preferred to use that clarification, then the other possibilities.
The night I almost killed my best friend.
The night you almost lost your baby.
The night I ruined all of our lives.
Chloe’s face remained expressionless.
“Aren’t you pissed? Annoyed?” I pressed.
“No. I waited for you to talk about that night for years. And the way you ran after her after the last fight made it pretty clear you had feelings for her. Why wouldn’t you tell her?”
“Aren’t you angry with me that I told the most horrifying thing that happened in your life to a total stranger?”
“Liam and I moved on. A long time ago. It was hard and painful. I’m not going to lie. We blamed each other. We blamed you.” That felt like a stab in the heart. “But eventually we moved on. I tried to pull you out too. It didn’t work. I’m glad someone else helped you get unstuck.”
“I’m still stuck.”
“That will change. You started talking about it. That’s progress.”
We stared at each other in the darkness, my pulse racing. I wanted to leave and stay at the same time. I wanted to talk and I was terrified of saying the wrong thing.
“Is Liam asleep?”
“Which one?” She asked her eyes digging holes in my face, trying to read me.
“I am a dick, but even I wouldn’t wake up a three-year-old in the middle of the night for a chat.”
“But you would wake up your best friend after ghosting him for years?” A low rumble filled the room.
My eyes flew in its direction and found Liam. In his wheelchair. I imagined him in that thing a thousand times and still it made my heart sink. Chloe approached me, squeezed my shoulder, then strolled over to Liam. She gave him a quick peck.
“The booze is on the top shelf in the kitchen, Ty,” she yawned as she walked away.
“Is she hiding it from Liam or from you?” I asked.
“Both. She started doing it because of me. I had a period of self-pity around the time Liam was one. He started to walk, and it hit me all over again that I never will. I drank all day and all night.”