“Why?” His voice roars in the space, making my shoulders jump, but I still don’t turn around as I answer.
“I don’t know!”
He claps his hands, laughing. “Jesus. I can’t believe I didn’t see it. I thought all of this was about punishing me for earlier, but this is about you. You don’t want to choose. You might be trying to change your life, live on the straight and narrow, but you’re still a spoiled little princess who wants her cake and to eat it too.”
Grey’s right. I don’t want to choose. I want to keep them both selfishly like a tyrant who rules over their hearts, unjustly expecting their devotion but never letting myself fall for one or the other. Except, I fell. So, now the shit’s more complicated.
The warmth of his body tells me he’s standing just behind as his words are said quietly and lethally into my hair. “If a taste test is what you’re after, I’m sure we can arrange some time to pass you back and forth since we missed out the first time.”
Motherfucker. My eyes shoot to his as I spin around, hateful, with belligerence ready to fire from my mouth. “Fuck you. Be careful, Grey. I was more than happy to take your pride today—don’t let your dignity be next.”
“Cherry, you better bring your A game because if you think I won’t make you walk through hell before I take you to heaven, you’re blonder than you look.”
“I hate you.” I seethe, glaring at him, but he whispers his words back to me arrogantly.
“You wish that were true.”
I clamp my mouth shut, not answering, and walk back to the door to open it for him to leave. He tilts his head as I walk by, and the expression on his face makes me want to hurt him. I’m so angry. I want him gutted.
“You’re right, Grey. I don’t hate you. I just wish you were more like Liam. He didn’t have to bully me or yell at me. He simply asked for a kiss, and I was happy to please. And it was fucking amazing. Better than I remembered.”
I know what I’m saying, so the rage that’s marring Grey’s face as I pass by isn’t a surprise, but it does make me feel guiltier than I anticipated.
“You’ll have to keep wishing, because I’ll never ask for something that belongs to me.”
Yelling back over my shoulder, I take quicker steps as he follows me. “You don’t have any claim over me. I warned you a girl like me would ruin you. Take the hint because I’m throwing them like knives now.”
I yank my door open, but his palm slaps against the surface, slamming it closed just as fast. My breath catches, taken by surprise. “You’ll ruin me because you’re the villain? Nah, Cherry, that might be my favorite part about you. It makes you my equal. You can keep pretending you aren’t interested, but I’m not listening. Because I’m not asking if you’re into me, like Liam. I already know.”
Hold on, how did he know that happened?
Grey’s deep voice infiltrates my ears, his lips brushing the side of my hair. “Turn the fuck around and look me in the eye. If you’re going to pretend to be a badass, then play the part correctly. You can’t tell me you didn’t want more today, that you didn’t want to taste my mouth and feel my hands on your body. You can’t tell me that any part of you is thinking about Liam right now. But can you say the same when you were with him?”
My eyes open from being squeezed shut, and I turn around slowly, my shoulder brushing against the door, to lay my back on it.
“I’m the name you call when you’re scared and when you want to come. It’s me. It’s always fucking been me.”
There’s fire in my eyes and the stripped-down truth on my lips. The consequence of what I say next is on him. He makes me this way—honest and cruel.
“You make me forget myself and dive head-first into the worst kind of impulse. On paper, you’re the right boy, but I want you for all the wrong reasons. The possession I feel toward you scares me. You’re mine, Grey.”
His fingers brush my collarbone, and my stomach caves in as my eyes close with permission. I press my fingers into the wood door, trying to keep myself from sinking further away from what I need to say. Reopening my eyes, they lock with his.
“But. Friendship is all you’ll get from me. I’m done denying that I don’t feel something for you, but you aren’t the only person I care about.” Liam. I care about Liam.
We stand in a stare down, inches from one another, heat rising and compounding between us. Grey searches my eyes, and the scrutiny makes me want to break and beg him to take whatever he wants. Consequences be damned.
Have me. Ruin me. And then let me destroy you.
I push against his unmovable chest, seeking distance, unable to sustain my bravery. “What do you want from me, Grey? I gave you honesty. I can’t not. Stop now. Please.”
This scene reminds me of earlier with Liam, except Grey doesn’t budge. He closes in on me, bringing his lips closer to mine, and I could cry over how beautiful he is—so powerful and determined to break me, just so I’ll let him love me. He’s never stopped to consider that I’m undeserving of it, even if I selfishly accept it.
He’s staring down at me as I look into his rich brown eyes that are a storm of emotion.
“I didn’t ask to be the first kiss, Cherry.”
His words are spoken so quietly and raw that they expose my guilt. He’s not talking about tonight. God, he means so much more than that. I take him in with my eyes, wanting to say a million “sorrys” because in another lifetime, if I’d turned out like a less fucked-up girl, he might’ve been my first, last, and only kiss.
But I’m who I am, and I’ve unintentionally landed right back into what I tried to avoid. I’m turning men into villains and forging enemies out of friendships. I don’t know if what’s happening can be righted, but I do know he doesn’t deserve this.
“I know you didn’t ask for this. It’s my fault. I’m sorry, Grey. I fucked up, ple—”
“But I will be the last.”
His lips demand as they collide with mine, and I’m pressed harder against the door. It’s as if all my reason, thought, and will is stripped away viciously. Everything inside me ignites, all my switches flipped on simultaneously, as my fingers dive into his hair.
Our tongues tangle and twist, as our teeth hit from the desperation to devour one another grows. Grey’s hand sweeps underneath my navy blue sweatshirt, the rough calluses on his palms scratching my soft skin, and it pulls a moan from my throat. He growls into my mouth, gripping strands of my hair before reaching down to hitch one leg around his hip. Bending his knees, he gives himself better access, and grinds into my center when we line up.
“Grey,” I breathe out as his mouth finds my neck. “This changes nothing.”
“You’ve changed everything.”
My fingers intertwine with his as he holds my arm above my head, the other still holding my leg as he sucks hard on the tender flesh of my neck. My nails dig into his back, matching the intensity that he rubs his hard length up and down between my legs, pulling tiny pants from me. Grey’s lips find mine again, and our heads twist, hands roaming as we dry hump against the fucking wall like wild animals.
“Let me have you,” he groans into my mouth. “Give, Cherry.”