His arms tighten around me, and I feel his chin rest on the top of my head as we stay like that, silent for what feels like a hundred years.
“No, Van,” he whispers, reaching behind him and pulling my arms from him. I step back and stare at him, unbelieving, as he shakes his head.
“He doesn’t get to fucking win this time. This is what he does. He’s selfish and now everything is ruined. You, me, him. It’s all fucked-up, and I won’t forgive him. Not this time. Not even for you.”
“Liam,” I say quietly, feeling like someone just pulled the rug out from under me.
He steps back, grabbing his backpack and looking at me. “No. I’m done, Van. If you want me as a friend, then that doesn’t include Grey.”
I can’t even watch him walk out. My entire world just flipped upside down. The sketch pad is all I stare at as I hear the door close behind me. Walking to it, I pull the pages back down until I’m at the top. It’s the picture he was working on when I came in. I know because it’s the only one in the book.
My lips press together as I take in the sketch, holding off a shaky breath I want to release. It’s so detailed, with shadowed smudges and intricate strikes. It’s perfect, and it’s us. Me, Grey, and Liam, all jumping off the dock at the lake when we were kids. I let the page drift shut, already mourning the heavy loss, because even if I get one of them, nothing will ever be the same.
“Did you tell Grey about today?”
Kai pushes the bowl of ice cream across the stone countertop toward me, where we’re both perched in his kitchen.
“Yes, and I’m sure you can imagine how he reacted.” I laugh but still feel sad. “They’re so angry with one another, and it’s all valid. How do we resolve that? It feels impossible, and I hate it, and I feel responsible… and…and…and.”
My words are accented by the stabbing of my spoon into the ice cream before Kai takes the bowl from my hand, eyes wide. But not before I dip my spoon in, scooping up a sizeable serving and shoveling it in my mouth, frowning as I look at his sympathetic face.
“What am I going to do?” I mumble, mouth full.
“Give them time,” he answers, putting the bowl down next to him. “Those two have to fight it out their own way, and nobody can force their hand. Not even you. They speak their own language, Donovan. I really think the only person they love more than you is each other.”
I smile as he wags his eyebrows at the end of his sentence, while handing me a napkin.
“Why does that feel so dirty coming out of your mouth?”
Kia shrugs. “Wishful thinking maybe. But seriously, neither one of them know how to do anything without the other. They’re brothers. Just give it time. Liam will forgive you for not being the girl who he’s had on a pedestal, and Grey will keep becoming the man who you know he is.”
Blotting my lips, I smile at him, feeling only the tiniest bit of relief after hearing what he said because there’s still a chance they’ll never come around.
“Let’s hope you’re right because the thought of losing Liam hurts. Really fucking hurts. But if Grey couldn’t bully me, neither can Liam.” A growl comes from my throat before I add, “I can’t believe he said me or Grey. What the fuck.”
Kai’s shoulder bumps mine, calling my face to his. “They’ll figure it out. Doesn’t mean it’ll happen soon, but there’s nothing that those boys won’t do for you.”
“But he said he wouldn’t this time. That’s what Liam said, Kai.”
His brows draw together. “Really?”
“Really,” I answer as he nods, looking away.
Kai looks like me now. Defeated. My head drops to lie against his shoulder as we sit quietly because there’s no more to say and I don’t want to say any more. It’s exhausting. He reaches down, grabbing the ice cream bowl, and sets it back into my lap, picking up his own.
“Let’s just eat our feelings…”
Grey
IT’S BEEN TWO DAYS, AND Donovan has done nothing but mope and make me consider murder plots against Liam. He’s being such an asshole. The fucking irony is that, in the end, I’m the one who didn’t make her choose—it’s Liam making shit hard. He’s hating me on her behalf, and I’m doing the same to him, but it feels like any minute I’m going to explode, lose my shit, and beat his face in until he says uncle.
I woke up before the sun was barely rising, just so the river would be empty, needing to get out there to let my mind rest. I’ve stayed with her the last two nights, pretending that everything will work out, when I’m certain it won’t. The note I wrote lies on the pillow next to her, as I lean down and kiss her lips gently, not wanting to wake her.
Sneaking out quietly, I walk down her hall to the stairs, but the moment I take the last step, I see a familiar face standing by the door, opening it for me. He hates that I stay over, but it’s not as if he gets a choice.
“Butler.” I smile, walking past him faintly hearing “degenerate” said under his breath as I make my way out of her house.
I hit the street, flipping my key ring around my finger as the doorman opens my car. Slipping inside, I push the key in, bringing the growl of the engine to life, and pull out into traffic, heading to the boathouse. The street is adjacent to Central Park, so as I drive, my mind jumps from memory to memory, sucking all my anger from me and replacing it with something else—maybe regret.
Every time I look, there’s another photo drawn up in my head… Donovan and me as kids sailing boats in the park for my birthday… Liam and I pushing her on the swings while we played tag… The first time she convinced us to go ice-skating and then fell on her ass a hundred times… Liam and I sitting on the bench, sad and miserable after she left… Breaking my fist against a tree when I found out my mom died… Liam sitting with me until I stopped crying and never telling anyone that I did.
Fuck. My hands grip the steering wheel harder as the weight on my shoulders gets heavier. I don’t have one memory without either of them, and that feels bittersweet. Because now, my best friend hates me, but especially hates that my girlfriend loves me. I cut over into the next lane and give the park one last look, before moving further and further away until it’s just color in my rearview mirror.
The drive goes by fast, mainly because I’m lost in my head on autopilot as I pull up in front of the boathouse. Tossing my keys into the duffle that’s in the back seat, I hang it over my back as I push out of my car, taking in a deep breath. The water is still, beautiful, home. It’s a perfect day to row out. Staring down at the pavement, I walk, only glancing up a few times, still stuck in my head. Fuck, I feel so goddamn defeated. I can’t fix this for her or for me. I don’t even know what I would say to him if he gave me the opportunity. My hand reaches for the door, and I yank it open, not paying attention to anything around me as I enter.
Wait, why the fuck is the door open? I should’ve had to unlock that.
A loud thud jars me, just as I lift my head to see Liam standing ten feet away. His bag’s plopped at his feet as he glares at me. “What the fuck are you doing here, Grey?”