“I’m watching, baby. Are you going to jump to Adam?”
“Dada!”
I stifle a laugh at the horror painting Rosie’s face, even though Connor’s called me this about five hundred times today.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispers. “Google says it’s a phase.”
I only wink, then reach toward Connor as he crouches down. “Ready to jump, little trouble?”
“Tubble,” he repeats with a toothy grin. Tiny hands reach toward me, and when he launches himself off the patio and into my arms, he shrieks, “Daaa-daaa !”
I twirl him in the air before dunking his bottom half while he squeals with delight. He clings to my chest, little legs wrapping around me as he giggles against my neck, and Rosie can’t take her eyes off us.
“Should we splash Mama?” I wade closer to Rosie, hiding my smile. “What do you think, buddy? Does Mama need to get a little wet?”
She points a finger at me. “Don’t you dare. I’ve been wet, now I’m dry.” She curls her daisy-painted toes into Bear’s fur. “Bear and I like it this way.”
“Mmm. Mama doesn’t like being wet.” The furious heat pooling in Rosie’s cheeks says she doesn’t miss the innuendo, but we don’t have time to dwell on it as I help Connor up the steps again. “Go give Mama a big hug. Squeeze all your love into her.”
Tiny feet tear across the patio, grabby hands reaching for his mom. She shrieks with laughter as he hurls his wet body into her lap, and I think they might be my favorite people in the world.
Water droplets cascade down my body, splattering on the concrete as I walk toward them. I grab a towel, watching Rosie’s eyes move over me on a slow, heated sweep, tongue running aimlessly across her bottom lip as I shake out my hair, her throat bobbing as I rub the towel across my stomach.
“I’m gonna start the barbecue and get dinner going.”
Rosie doesn’t blink, gaze roaming down, then up.
I nudge her chin with two knuckles, guiding her eyes to mine. “’Kay, pretty girl?”
“Hot,” she murmurs, then blinks rapidly, shaking her head. “Barbecue, I mean. It’s…hot. It’ll be hot. When you…start it.” She nods. “Yes.”
I drop my smile to her forehead, wink at Connor, and head inside. My phone’s buzzing on my kitchen counter, my favorite group of Puck Sluts checking in.
Carter
did the car seat work ok?
Garrett
What car seat?
Carter
im talking 2 adam, not u.
Garrett
Fine, I’ll go back to what I was doing before. Your sister.
Carter
u motherfucker
Emmett
Believe the correct term is sisterfucker, bud.
Jaxon
*crying laughing emoji* Sisterfucker. Get it? Cuz he’s fucking ur sister.
Carter
I fucking hate u all. i’m only talking to adam from now on.
did the car seat work for ur girlfriend???
Garrett
…How old is Rosie?
Emmett
Wait wait wait…*monocle emoji*
Carter
it’s not for rosie, u turds.
Garrett
I thought you weren’t talking to us.
Jaxon
*thinking emoji*
Carter
…
Jaxon
*surprised emoji* No. No no no no.
Carter
yes.
Jaxon
*melting emoji* Adam, buddy. Tell me she doesn’t have a kid.
Garrett
Jennie awww’d so long I stopped counting.
Emmett
Cara says ‘Stepdaddy Adam??? Man just went from a 10/10 to a solid 20.’
Jaxon
ADAM. Tell me it isn’t so.
Me
His name is Connor, he’s fifteen months old, and he’s cute as fuck.
Jaxon
NOOOOO. Daddy Adam?! RIP.
Emmett
Ayooo! That’s awesome, bud. Happy for you.
Carter
keep him away from my baby cuz no boys til she’s 40.
or ever.
no girls either.
I’m not going to attempt to touch on the fact that one day Ireland will grow up and be her own person and not ever listen to her dad again, because it’s a useless conversation. Carter’s go-to when anyone tries to reason with him involves slapping his hands over his ears and singing I’m not listening, I’m not listening .
In fact, Ireland may grow up before he does.
My phone rings, and I half expect it to be Jaxon. Commitment scares him, and the thought of a toddler probably has him spiraling. If anyone’s going to try to talk me out of this relationship, it’ll be him.
But my mom’s face smiles up at me from my screen, and I answer the video request as I shuffle out of earshot of the patio door, to the living room window, where I can see Rosie, Connor, and Bear playing in the grass with the sprinkler.
“Hey, Mom.”
“Care to tell me why Garrett told me you have a girlfriend before you did?”
“I don’t—what—when were you—” I scrub my eyes and sigh. “That little shit.”
“Don’t blame my angel.” Garrett is definitely her favorite of my friends, which is why she sends him a monthly box of specialty snacks from the States that you can’t get here in Canada. “He called to thank me for his snacks and asked if I was excited to meet Rosie. I said, ‘Rosie who?’ and he said, ‘Oh, shit.’ Then Jennie started cackling in the background and chanting, ‘You fucked up, you fucked up.’”
“She’s not my girlfriend,” I mumble. “I haven’t even kissed her yet.”
“Well, that’s understandable.”
“It is?”
“Yeah, of course.”
There’s a snicker in the background, and then my dad’s amused face pops over Mom’s shoulder. “If someone publicly rated my kissing a three out of five, I’d be hesitant to kiss anyone ever again too.”
They howl with laughter, and the fuckers even high-five. “Nailed it, Deac!”
I smile as Connor bounds after Bear, and Rosie after Connor, the three of them soaked to the bone as they leap through the spraying water.