Rosie leans over, waves falling around our faces. “I like you weak for me,” she whispers. “I’m weak for you, too, except, somehow, I feel so much stronger with you.” Her soft hand grazes my cheek, and she presses her mouth to mine, coaxing it open. “Thank you for building me up, for making me feel safe enough to be myself, for being the type of man I’m so proud to have my son look up to. Thank you for being you, Adam, exactly as you are.”
Fate has taken so much only to grant me so many invaluable things in this life. And as much as I’ve tried not to question it, to simply take what it gives me, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t sometimes question the process of getting there.
Because if Courtney had loved me exactly as I was and it still didn’t work out, I wouldn’t have lied to Rosie about who I am.
But Courtney didn’t love me for who I was.
And I did lie.
And Rosie has no idea who she’s really dating.
But this isn’t fate’s fault. It’s mine.
“Did you use them all?”
“I’m not telling you how many times we had sex.” If I were bragging, though, I’d definitely be telling my friends that it’s a miracle my dick is still attached to my body, and that I’m no longer at risk of developing premature arthritis. I don’t feel like bragging though. I’m nervous, and my stomach hurts.
Jaxon wags his brows. “So you did have sex.”
“What? No, I—ugh.” I cross my arms over my chest and look away. If I don’t make eye contact, there’s a better chance of me not spilling the juicy deets everyone keeps asking for. “Shut up.”
“I’m not asking how many times you had sex. I’m asking if you used all the condoms.”
“Telling you how many condoms we used tells you how many times we had sex.”
Carter winks. “Unless you went in bare after you ran out.”
“I did not.”
“You fucker,” Jaxon muses. “You did use all the condoms. Jesus, that’s, like, six times.”
“Seven,” I mumble, ignoring Carter’s hand when he holds it up for a high five. He resorts to high-fiving Garrett. “But the last one was this morning.” I point at the two of them, shoving their hands into a box of Oreos. “If you two don’t stop eating, you’re gonna be covered in cookie crumbs for your interviews.”
Garrett frowns at his hands before wiping them on his pants. Carter, on the other hand, crunches another cookie between his teeth while looking me dead in the eye.
I roll my eyes. “I don’t give a fuck what you look like in your interview, but I know for a fact Ollie dressed you in that outfit this morning, and if it’s covered in crumbs, it’s gonna be your ass.”
“I can handle Ollie,” he says, licking his fingers, and I snort a laugh.
“Okay, bud. Let’s pretend your five-foot wife doesn’t have your balls in a vice.”
He jabs me in the shoulder. “Five—” jab “—foot—” jab “—one . She’s just got such a powerful personality. You know she’s got those teacher eyes.” He points two fingers aggressively at his eyes. “Sees everything. And don’t get me started on that teacher voice. Turns me on and scares the fuck outta me at the same time.” He sets his cookies down, dusts his hands off, adjusts his junk, and frowns. “Guess I’ll put these away for now.”
Emmett hops off the stool he’s been sitting on for the last ten minutes, shaking hands with the sports journalist who’s been interviewing him. His eyes widen with his grin as he jogs over to us.
“Did I hear you say you went through seven condoms last night? Cara’s gonna lose her shit. She says you’ve been ignoring her messages. She’s upset with you.”
Groaning, I pull my phone out of my pocket. I’ve got twenty-three notifications, and all of them are from my group chat with the girls.
Olivia
Why is he ignoring us?
Cara
We know where you live, Lockwood. Nobody ignores Cara Brodie and lives to talk about it.
Jennie
Our man def journeyed to Pussy Palace last night. Might’ve gotten lost there too.
Olivia
I just wanna know if she treated you right.
Oh! Did you try that move from the audiobook? You know the scene, where she’s on her hands and knees???
Jennie
I feel like Adam’s a freak between the sheets. It’s always the quiet ones, you know?
Cara
If we don’t hear from you in the next ten seconds, I cannot be held responsible for my actions. Do you hear me, Lockwood? I. CANNOT. BE. HELD. RESPONSIBLE. FOR. MY. ACTIONS.
This motherfucker is going down.
Jennie
**Rosie-fucker
I tuck my phone away like I’ve been doing all day, because I can’t deal with these three right now. My head hurts when I think about Rosie. It means acknowledging the mistakes I’ve made, the ways I’ve failed her, and I’m not sure I’m ready to face a version of me who’s been anything other than honest.
Scrubbing a hand over my mouth, I spin away from my friends, tossing an excuse over my shoulder about needing some air. I’m not surprised when I hear the door open behind me a few seconds after it closes, but I am a little surprised to see Jaxon take a seat beside me on the bench out front.
He hands me a bottle of water. “You okay?”
“Yeah. Fine.”
He huffs a laugh, looking down at his feet. “You know, I suck at relationships, but when a woman says she’s fine, she’s almost always lying.”
“I’m not a woman.”
“But you’re not fine, either, are you?”
I glance at my friend, the easy way he sits there, like he doesn’t have a care in the world. “Do you really want to know?”
“Sure. I’m here, aren’t I? Plus, you look like you’re gonna puke, so you should probably do it before you get behind that camera.”
Bracing my elbows on my thighs, I focus on the water bottle in my hands, picking mindlessly at the paper label. “I’m in love with Rosie.”
“Yeah, I figured that much. You talk about her all the time, and you’re constantly grinning at your phone like a high school girl texting her crush. Or Carter texting Olivia. Garrett and Jennie too.” He sighs. “And Emmett and Cara. You guys all suck, to be honest.”
I laugh but finish with a sigh, dragging my hands through my hair. “I really fucked up, man.”
“With Rosie? I thought last night went well.”
“It did. It was great. Perfect. She’s…she’s fucking perfect. It’s just…something changed last night. She opened up about some serious stuff, some vulnerable shit that’s just…awful. Not fair. She hasn’t had an easy life, and she sat there and told me all about it.”