But today I watched the two of them for a moment from outside the conference room. It was weird but I could almost imagine him leaning forward and pressing his lips against hers, running his fingers through her long, silky hair. It’s not hard to see why he likes her.
I grabbed the handle of the conference room door. Instantly, Natalie jerked her head up. She abandoned Seth and sprinted across the room to the door to greet me. But she didn’t look happy to see me. She started asking a million questions about what I was doing there, even though I was on the email where she invited the entire company.
Then she pointed out that it was a potluck and I hadn’t brought anything. I was still hoping the turtle cupcakes had migrated to the party on their own, so I let her know that I was the creator of the turtle cupcakes. But when I said that, she acted like she didn’t know what I was talking about. “There are no turtle cupcakes in here,” she kept saying. Then she accused me of lying about having brought them.
“Please don’t tell lies, Dawn,” she said. “It’s so unattractive.”
When she said the word “unattractive,” she made a pointed gesture at my outfit. Unlike Natalie, I usually wear slacks to work. Skirts make me uncomfortable. And I don’t wear fitted blouses like she does either—ones that strain at the bosom—although to be fair, I don’t have much to show off in that department. My mother always used to say I have the figure of a prepubescent boy.
I kept insisting I made twelve chocolate cupcakes, but Natalie would not step aside to let me into the bridal shower. Finally, she said she didn’t understand why I was here in the first place because I’m not even friends with Kim. When I pointed out that she invited me, she just shook her head.
“I sent that to everyone, but I assumed people realized they shouldn’t come if they weren’t friends with Kim—that’s just common sense,” she told me.
Except when I looked over Natalie’s shoulder, it seemed like every single person in the company was in that conference room. It wasn’t just friends of Kim. It was everyone. Everyone but me.
Before I could point that out, Natalie closed the door in my face and went back to talking to Seth.
I didn’t know what to do after that. I could have gone back to doing work in the otherwise empty office, but I couldn’t focus. I had thought this party would be an opportunity for me to finally get to know some of my coworkers. Maybe even make a friend. Obviously, I recognize I’ll never have another friend like you. I’ve abandoned that foolish notion. But since we’re living at different ends of the country, I’d love it if there was somebody I could have lunch with from time to time, at least.
Finally, I opted to go back to the break room. I definitely brought the cupcakes to work this morning. I was sure that if I could find them and bring them to the conference room, Natalie would let me into the party. She had to. Everyone would want to try those cupcakes. Who wouldn’t like turtle cupcakes?
So while everybody else was at the party, I went back to the break room alone. I checked the refrigerator one last time and then went through all the drawers and cabinets systematically. It was only on a whim that I pushed my foot on the pedal to open up the garbage bin.
And that’s when I found my cupcakes. Smooshed together in a big messy pile at the bottom of the trash.
All my hard work was in the garbage. Nobody had the opportunity to see them or taste them. I spent hours on those cupcakes. For nothing.
You always used to tell me never to give other people the satisfaction of seeing me cry. If I was ever on the brink, you would tell me how awesome I am, and that I need to be strong.
But it was easy not to cry when you were right here with me. It’s a lot harder when you’re alone. But you’re right. No matter what, you can’t let anyone know they’ve gotten to you. Because that’s when they win.
So I went back to my cubicle with my chin held high. I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction. You would have been proud of me.
Sincerely,
Dawn Schiff
To: Dawn Schiff
From: Mia Hodge
Subject: Re: Greetings
OMG Dawn!!!! This Natalie person has crossed a line! You need to go to HR and report her. I’m serious.
To: Mia Hodge
From: Dawn Schiff
Subject: Re: Greetings
Dear Mia,
I understand why you would say that, but I would rather not go to HR. I will just make another batch of cupcakes and keep them in my cubicle for the next party. Besides, the head of HR loves Natalie.
Sincerely,
Dawn Schiff
Chapter Twenty-Eight
PRESENT DAY
NATALIE
I’ve got another interview in the late afternoon to promote the 5K, this one for a local radio station. My head isn’t entirely in the game, but it’ll be a good distraction. I’ve been doing sales calls all morning and haven’t made one sale. But I can do an interview in my sleep. I’ve been told that I have a nice speaking voice. Someone once told me I should do voice-overs.
I was supposed to get a call from Rita Duke at four, but when it’s a quarter past and I still haven’t gotten the call, I find her number in my address book. Maybe I got the time wrong. Although I’ve got it written on my calendar. I don’t usually make mistakes like that.
After several rings, I’m certain the call will go to voicemail, but then Rita picks up. “Natalie?”
“Hi, Rita!” I chirp into the phone. “Weren’t we supposed to record the interview at two? Did I get it wrong?”
“No…” She’s quiet for a moment. “I guess I just assumed you didn’t want to do it anymore since your coworker…” She drops her voice several notches. “You know, was killed.”
I’m not surprised she knows about Dawn. It’s been all over the news today, since her body turned up. “Actually, I thought we could talk about that during the interview. We’re raising money for cerebral palsy, but now we’re also going to be running in Dawn’s honor.”
She’s quiet for so long that I almost think she’s hung up. Finally, she says, “Really? Do you think that’s in good taste?”
“In good taste? What are you talking about? Dawn was brutally murdered and the killer is still out there. This will draw more awareness—maybe it will lead to finding the bastard who did this to her.”
“Natalie, do you know what everybody is saying on the internet?”
I get a horrible sinking feeling in my stomach. “What?”
“Your company is trending.” Rita says it like it’s a big deal. “Everybody is saying that Dawn was severely bullied by the staff who work there. It’s all over the place.”
I grab my phone and bring up my Twitter feed. “What should I search for?”
“Hashtag VixedBullies.”
Oh God.
“It’s not true,” I say to Rita. “It’s just a horrible rumor. You know how these things get started.”