It didn't matter as long as she lived.
My heart squeezed. I had been so wrong about her, about everything. As I careened the car up the winding drive, I could feel the edges of my vision going. Fading. I was so close, so goddamn close. I had to make it. As long as she got help, that was all I cared about.
My life didn't deserve saving. The things I'd done, the people I'd hurt, all in the name of what was best for the global good. Well, it was bullshit. The lies that we tell ourselves. The lies we were told to tell others, all of it was such fucking bullshit. And now she was paying the price. The cost of my hubris.
I thought I could have it all. I thought that I could straddle that line, but I couldn't. I drove up the drive to the house at the top of the hill, slammed the car in Park, and raced to the passenger-side door. When I yanked it open, she almost fell out, her head lolling onto my shoulder. "I've got you. You're okay."
She mumbled, "I love you."
"Shh. I don't deserve it. Come on, let's get you help."
As I was running up the stairs with Daphne in my arms, Gabe stepped out onto the veranda of Abott manor. "What the fuck?"
"I need your help. Save her. Please… I need you to save her."
38
Drake
My heart stopped as I caught sight of Saffron standing in the corner of the room, her arms crossed over her chest. I'd been waiting hours for Daphne to wake up. She’d been patched up, but she’d lost quite a bit of blood.
Gabe must have finally told his sister I was here.
With her long braids and piercing dark eyes, she embodied the word powerful. Her stance was strong, yet her face held a hint of something else—sadness, perhaps, or a suppressed anger. For a moment, I couldn't move, my feet frozen as if rooted to the ground.
She looked like a completely different person. The person I'd met years ago was barely a woman. Saffron had really grown into her role. I was happy for her.
Finally, it was Saffron who broke the spell. "What are you doing here?" she demanded, her voice strong and clear.
I swallowed hard, unsure of what to say. "My… Daphne. She’s my… mine. She was hurt. I didn’t have a ch-choice," I stammered, my throat dry.
Saffron let out a sigh then gestured for me to move closer. “You weren’t worried I would shoot you on sight?”
All I could think of was that I had played a part in her tragedy. I never meant to hurt her; I had only wanted the truth. But now, looking at her in that moment, I knew that I had failed her. I had failed myself.
A part of me wanted to go to her, to apologize, to try to explain. But the other part of me, the stronger part, was frozen in guilt. So I just stared at her for what felt like an eternity.
My heart clenched as I saw the pain etched on her face, a stark reminder of the damage I'd caused. I could feel her eyes on me, and as much as I wanted to avoid that confrontation, I knew it was inevitable. She approached me, her steps slow and measured.
"Drake," she said, her voice soft but tense. "I've talked to Gabe."
"Yeah?" I replied, trying to keep the conversation light despite the heavy atmosphere. "I'm guessing he filled you in on the whole deep-cover situation then?"
Saffron nodded, her gaze never leaving mine.
I grimaced, the memory of our last encounter still painfully fresh. "Saffron, I was deep cover, and I didn't have a choice. I never meant to hurt you."
Her eyes narrowed, a hint of anger flashing across her face. "You know, that's the problem, Drake. I can't tell when you're being sincere or when you're just playing a role. The hardest part for me was actually believing that you cared about me." She hesitated as my guilt clawed at my gut that I hadn’t been able to do more for her parents. "I've known for a while that you didn't kill my parents, but I still can't let it go," she continued, her voice shaking. "I’ve held onto so much anger toward you. Hell, it defines me now."
“It was all fucked up. I wish I could have done more. This apology is years too late.”
Saffron's expression softened. “It’s exhausting hating you. And you did save my life once. I just—” She shook her head. “You let me try to kill you.”
“Well, you had a right. I didn’t do enough to protect your parents. And I needed to play the villain so I could still do my job.”
“Well, at some point we all have to step into the light. Or at least take a torch into the darkness with us.”
“Some of our torches have dead batteries.” I said, shrugging.
“In that case, you borrow from a mate.” Her shoulders marginally relaxed. “The woman, she’s still asleep. The doctors say she’s stable though.”
She reached out and touched my arm gently, the contact conveying a reassuring warmth, and I felt myself relax, responding to the comfort of her touch.
"So will you help us?" I asked, still uncertain if she would agree.
Saffron paused for a moment before finally nodding. "Of course. Gabe trusts you. So for now, I won’t shoot you. But I might let Tabatha stab you,” she said with a wink.
“She’s already done that.”
“Ah, yes, she came clean too. I don’t like liars, Drake. Please don’t turn my family into a pair of them.”
For a moment she stared at me, her eyes searching my face for any hint of dishonesty. Finally, she seemed to find what she was looking for. "You really love her, don't you?" she asked, her voice softer now.
I nodded, unable to tear my gaze away from hers.
"Yes," I said quietly. "I do."
Saffron's expression softened. "That's good," she said softly.
I smiled slightly, despite the knot in my stomach tightening with every passing second. Saffron seemed to understand how complicated things were for me. She saw through all the lies and deception and still managed to look past them to find the truth beneath it all.
"Thank you," I said, my voice barely more than a whisper.
She nodded and gave me one last reassuring smile. As she walked away to join the others, I felt a strange mix of relief and sadness wash over me. Saffron and I would never be what we once were, but perhaps there was hope for some semblance of a friendship, a mutual understanding born from the ashes of our past.
In the end, it was all I could ask for. That and Igno’s head on a platter.
39
Daphne
I tried to blink away my confusion and surveyed the room in which I found myself. I was lying on a small cot, surrounded by four gray walls. It was a sparsely adorned room, with a chair and a single window just big enough to catch a glimpse of the outside world.
I looked down at my body and saw that I had been bandaged up in various places. Whoever had found me and brought me here clearly had some medical experience, and they had done the best they could, given the circumstances.
Though my limbs felt like jelly, I managed to find the energy to bring myself to a seated position. My head spun and my vision blurred, but I felt a little better. I was still groggy, though, and it was all I could do to stay awake.