Poppy nodded.
“Well, now I understand why I felt…lighter. The first time it lasted—damn, it lasted for a while. Got the best sleep in years.” I coughed out a short laugh, a little stunned. Okay, a lot stunned.
“Too bad that can’t be bottled and sold.”
“Why?” The demand burst from me. “Why did you take my pain? Yes, I do…feel sadness. I miss my brother with every breath I take. His absence haunts me, but it’s manageable.” Now. Now it was manageable.
“I know,” she said quietly. “You don’t let it interfere with your life, but I…I didn’t like knowing that you were hurting, and I could help, at least temporarily. I just wanted—”
“What?” I asked.
“I wanted to help. I wanted to use my gift to help people.”
I drew back, exhaling roughly. “And you have? More than just me and Airrick?”
“I have. Those who are cursed? I often ease their pain. And Vikter would get terrible headaches. I would sometimes help him with those. And Tawny, but she never knew.”
“That’s how the rumors got started.” Godsdamn. “You’re doing it to help the cursed.”
“And their families sometimes,” she told me in a voice that was too small, too quiet for someone so fucking caring. “They often feel such sorrow that I have to.”
“But you’re not allowed.”
“No, and it seems so stupid that I can’t.” Poppy threw up her hands. “That I’m not supposed to. The reason doesn’t even make sense. Wouldn’t the gods have already found me worthy to have given me this gift?”
“One would think so.” And it was a damn good question. “Can your brother do this? Anyone else in your family?”
“No. It’s only me, and the last Maiden. We were both born in a shroud,” she said. “And my mother realized what I could do around the age of three or four.”
I frowned. The last Maiden? There was no other Maiden that I knew of.
“What?” She peeked at me.
I shook my head, then my gaze cut to hers. “Are you reading me now?”
“No,” she insisted, lowering her gaze to her hands. “I seriously try not to, even when I really want to. Doing so feels like cheating when it’s someone I…”
Poppy stiffened. She went so damn still, then her wide eyes swung back to mine. Her lips parted as she stared at me. Kept staring at me as pink crept into her cheeks.
“Now, I wish I had your gift,” I said. “Because I would love to know what you’re feeling at this moment.”
“I feel nothing from the Ascended,” Poppy blurted out, and I blinked. “Absolutely nothing, even though I know they feel physical pain.”
“That’s…”
“Weird, right?” she said.
“I was going to say disturbing, but sure, it’s weird.”
“You know?” She leaned in, lowering her voice as if someone was hidden in her bathing chamber. “It always bothered me that I couldn’t feel anything. It should be a relief, but it never was. It just made me feel…cold.”
I wanted to tell her there was a reason for that. It was because they had no souls, but that would basically be shouting in her face that her brother didn’t have one.
“I can see that.” I mimicked her movements, inching closer. “I should thank you.”
“For what?”
“For easing my pain.”
“You don’t have to,” she whispered.
“I know, but I want to,” I said, still sort of blown away by the fact that she would do that for me. For anyone. Especially knowing how the Duke treated her. “Thank you.”
“It’s nothing.” That thick fringe of lashes swept down, shielding her eyes from me.
“I was right.”
“About what?”
“About you being brave and strong,” I told her. “You risk a lot when you use your gift.”
“I don’t think I’ve risked enough,” she said, her fingers tangling. “I couldn’t help Vikter. I was too…overwhelmed. Maybe if I wasn’t fighting it so much, I would’ve at least taken his pain.”
“But you took Airrick’s,” I reminded her. “You helped him.” And countless others. I brought my brow to hers. “You are utterly nothing like I expected.”
“You keep saying that,” she said. “What did you expect?”
“I honestly don’t know anymore,” I admitted, only knowing that I never expected her. Ever.
Gods.
She was…
Fuck, I was simply blown away by her. Who wouldn’t be? Those who’d stared at her with distrust earlier would be on their knees before her if they knew her kindness and strength. Hell, I was half-tempted to get on mine.
“Poppy?”
Her soft breath danced across my lips. “Yes?”
I brought my fingers to her cheek. “I hope you realize that no matter what anyone has ever told you, you are more worthy than anyone I’ve ever met.”
“You haven’t met enough people, then,” she said.
“I have met too many.” Closing my eyes, I kissed her forehead. I had to force myself to lean back instead of tilting her head and bringing my lips to hers. I wasn’t worthy of kissing her. My thumb slid along her jaw. Or even touching her. “You deserve so much more than what awaits you.”
My gods, that was the truest thing I’d ever spoken. Even if I was able to give her freedom, she didn’t deserve the position I was putting her in. She didn’t deserve what the Ascended had already stolen from her. And she wouldn’t deserve the sense of security I would take from her.
Poppy shuddered, her eyes opening. The green was so bright, so clear.
Jaw clenching, I drew back, really hoping I wasn’t—what did she call it? Projecting. I really hoped I wasn’t projecting what I was feeling. “Thank you for trusting me with this.”
She didn’t answer as she looked at me, her lips parted as if she were mid-breath. And she wasn’t just looking at me. Those bright green eyes were slowly tracking over my face, then down my shoulders to the hand that rested between us. Her gaze slowly made its way back up to mine, and the breath she let out caused mine to snag for the third damn time.
“You shouldn’t look at me like that,” I warned her.
“Like what?” Poppy’s voice had taken on a breathy quality that stroked every part of me.
“You know exactly how you’re looking at me.” I closed my eyes. “Actually, you might not, and that’s why I should leave.”
Because I knew the look in those beautiful eyes, even if I didn’t catch the scent of her rising desire. She looked at me like she wanted to be kissed.
Stared at me like she needed more than that. Wanted more.
And fuck, I was a little shocked that she would come to that choice because of what it meant for her—for the role she had been placed in. That was huge. My body, however, was not shocked, and was immediately on board—blood heating and cock hardening. I started to lean toward her, answering the need and want I saw in her stare. Every fiber of my being demanded it. Wanted it.