Shaking my head, I returned my attention to her hand. I cleaned the ring. “I wouldn’t have cared then. I mean, I didn’t like ending the lives of good men, but it would’ve been a passing regret. Little to no guilt. I had a goal. That was all that mattered, and I…”
I sighed, placing her hand on her stomach as I moved on to her right. “I didn’t know you yet. I hadn’t even heard you speak, and I seriously thought you were this submissive creature who only spoke in whispers.” I laughed for real. “Or that you were a cohort in the Ascended’s plans. Gods, I couldn’t have been more wrong if I tried.”
The grime was far more stubborn on her right hand. “That’s the thing. I had all these preconceived notions about you—ones based on absolutely nothing. Because no one really talked about you. I think I just…well, I needed you to either be the enemy or weak. It made everything I planned to do easier.” I frowned. “Which actually makes me the weak one.”
If Poppy were awake, she would likely agree with that moment of self-realization.
I dragged the cloth between her fingers, oddly moved by how fragile her hand felt in mine, despite knowing how deadly it could be.
Looks could be deceiving, couldn’t they?
“But I was about to begin learning just how wrong I was about you,” I told her. “Because I was about to finally meet you, and you…” I looked at her still, serene features. “You were about to meet who I used to be.”
WHO I WAS
“The Maiden’s guards are good men.”
I lifted my gaze from the glass of whiskey I held to the man standing by the empty fireplace. “Good men die all the time.”
“True,” Griffith Jansen, the Commander of the Royal Guard, replied. He’d been in Solis longer than most Atlantians could tolerate, managing to keep his true identity hidden. He was the only reason my men were now firmly rooted in the Royal Army, serving both at the Rise and in the city. But he would be killed or worse if anyone ever learned where Jansen’s loyalties lay or what he was. “But far too few good men are left in Solis.”
“That, we can agree on.” I watched Jansen for several moments. “Is one less good man going to be a problem?”
His gaze met mine. “If it was a problem, I wouldn’t be here. I’m just saying it will be a shame to lose one of them.”
“Shame or not, I need to get close to her.” I took a drink of whiskey. The smoky liquor went down far smoother than any other spirit this miserable land had to offer. “Being on the Rise won’t help me. You know that. You also understand what is at stake here.” My head tilted. “And since there’s no current opening in those who guard her, we need to make one.”
“I do understand.” Jansen dragged a hand over his head, his shoulders tight under the plain brown tunic he wore. “That doesn’t mean I have to like what must be done.”
I smiled faintly at his response. “If you did, then you would be of better use to the Ascended since they enjoy pain and senseless death.”
His chin rose slightly at the reminder that we may be casually discussing the death of an innocent man. However, we were not the enemy. No amount of evil from me would surpass what the Ascended had done to our people or theirs.
At least that’s what I kept telling myself.
“What do you know of the Maiden?” Jansen asked after a moment.
I almost laughed because what a silly fucking question. There wasn’t much to know about her.
I knew her name was Penellaphe.
I knew her parents had been killed in a Craven attack.
I knew she had a brother who’d Ascended—one I had eyes on in the capital.
But what I knew next was all that mattered. She was the Queen’s favorite, and that made her the only thing in this entire kingdom that could be used as leverage against the false Crown. She was the only possible route to preventing war.
“I know enough,” I stated.
Jansen stretched his neck from side to side. “She’s favored by many people, not just the Queen.”
“How is that possible?” the other who stood by the window asked. “She is rarely seen in public, and even more rarely does she speak.”
“He makes a good point.” Which was likely a shock to everyone in the chamber.
“To be honest, I don’t know. But many speak of her kindness,” Jansen answered. “And her guards care for her. They protect her because they want to, whereas most of the Royal Guards protect their charges because it puts food on their family’s tables and keeps their heads on their shoulders. That’s about it.”
“And the same people believe she was Chosen by the gods—which we both know is impossible since they’ve been at rest for several centuries. I’m sorry if I don’t necessarily trust their judgment regarding what they think of the Maiden.”
Jansen gave me a wry grin. “My point is, when she goes missing, it’s going to cause a stir. Not just with the Ascended. People will be looking for her.”
“What will cause a great stir is my father’s armies descending on Solis and laying waste to every city and village he comes across. All in retribution for what the Ascended did to me and are currently doing to Prince Malik,” I told him. “Now, tell me, which stir would you rather see? Questions about a missing Maiden? Or war?”
“What I want to see is the godsdamn Ascended eradicated,” Jansen snapped. The only reason I allowed that was what came out of his mouth next. “They killed my children. My first son and then my second—” He cut himself off with a thick swallow, briefly looking away as he did whatever he needed to help contain the kind of pain that never healed. “I will do anything to stop them and protect our kingdom.”
“Then give me the opening I need.” I dragged my thumb over the rim of my glass. “Once I free the true Prince, I will kill the false King and Queen. That, I promise.”
Jansen exhaled roughly, and it was obvious he didn’t like this. My respect for the man grew. None of this business was pleasant. If someone enjoyed any part of this, they were living on borrowed time. “She walks the garden every night at dusk,” he said.
“I already know that.” I’d stalked her and her guard through the gardens many times at nightfall, getting as close as I could without being seen. Which, unfortunately, wasn’t nearly close enough.
“But do you know she goes to see the night-blooming roses?”
I stilled. I didn’t know that. Oddly unsettled by the revelation that she sought flowers native to Atlantia, I shifted on the settee. Throughout the day, I’d often found myself wondering what she found so interesting in those gardens.
I now knew.
“Or is it that they’re located near the jacaranda trees?” Jansen added.
A smile slowly tipped the corners of my lips. “Where a section of the interior wall has collapsed.”
Jansen nodded. “The same part I’ve told the Teermans to repair a time or five hundred.”
“Lucky for me, they haven’t.”
“Yes.” Jansen moved from the fireplace. “Do what you must, and I will take care of the rest.”