The words stacked up like bricks in the wall I was building between him and my misguided heart.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
Only my ragged breaths interrupted the agonizingly slow pass of time.
My feet hadn’t moved an inch since Christian came home, but my chest heaved like I’d just climbed Mount Everest.
“Nothing more, nothing less.” His lazy repetition of my words sent a shiver of unease down my spine.
My throat was too tight to allow sufficient air through. Everything around us buzzed with a ceaseless, dangerous hum, like a warning before a storm.
He took a step toward me. I took an instinctive step back, and another, and another, until my lower back hit the couch and my heart beat hard enough to bruise.
“Is that what we are, Stella? Housemates who are seeing each other for mutually beneficial reasons?” The question was velvety soft, but his eyes glinted like the edge of a freshly sharpened blade.
Christian’s palms sank into the cushions on either side of me, effectively caging me in.
It took all my willpower not to shrink into myself so I didn’t touch him. One graze, and I would combust into flames. I was sure of it.
But I refused to give him the satisfaction of hiding, so I lifted my chin and tried not to think about the mere inches separating my body from his.
“That’s all we’re supposed to be.”
“I didn’t ask you what we’re supposed to be. I asked you what we are.”
“You never answer my questions,” I said defiantly. “Why should I answer yours?”
The hum intensified, sweeping over us like a tidal wave over the shore. Christian’s eyes darkened until the pupils nearly obscured the molten gold of his irises.
“Your questions.” The cruel cut of his smile injected ice into my veins, and I suddenly regretted asking him anything at all. “You want to know why, Stella? Why I gave you the watch, why I moved you into my house, my sanctuary, when I’ve lived alone for over a decade and had planned to do so for the rest of my life?”
Every word spiked my blood with adrenaline until I was drowning in it. In him. In this wild vortex I’d sucked us into with no escape route in sight.
“It’s because you haven’t looked me in the eye since New York. Because you’re all I can fucking think about no matter where I am or who I’m with, and the thought of you hurt or upset makes me want to raze this city to the ground.” Soft, almost desperate viciousness coated his voice. “I’ve never wanted someone more, and I’ve never hated myself more for it.”
The vortex dragged me deeper, submerging me beneath the waves of a thousand different emotions. Any words I might’ve spoken were too tangled up in my chest to escape.
A bitter smile slashed across that heartbreaking face. “That’s fucking why.”
In a cool brush of air, Christian was gone.
The door slammed shut behind him, and I collapsed against the couch, the watch dangling from my fingers and the ruins of the world as I knew it at my feet.
23
CHRISTIAN
Valhalla on a Friday night was pure debauchery, but instead of partaking in the high-stakes poker game at the casino or indulging at the gentleman’s club in the basement, I threw back my sixth drink at the bar.
Scotch, self-loathing, and anger burned through my blood while the brunette next to me chattered on.
Three hours and twice as many drinks hadn’t thawed the black ice coating my veins since I left Stella alone in the apartment. Neither had the women fluttering around me, all of them beautiful and accomplished in their own right.
A cosmetics tycoon. A candy heiress. A supermodel who seemed unconcerned about abandoning the media magnate she’d showed up with.
“I’m staying at a hotel nearby.” The model leaned closer until her low, throaty voice percolated through the din and into my ears. “Perhaps you’d like to join me?”
I ran a thumb along the rim of my glass and observed her in silence.
Her skin flushed a faint red beneath my scrutiny.
Part of me was tempted to take her up on her offer and drown my frustrations with heat and sex. That had been my plan when I’d started flirting with her.
But that was the problem. No supermodels or sex could erase Stella from my mind for a single fucking second.
Aggravation tunneled through my veins.
“Not interested.” My reply came out harsher than usual, and the aggravation deepened.
I needed to get the fuck out of here. I was too on edge. If I stayed, I was liable to do something I’d regret.
Before the model could respond, her date finally noticed she’d wandered off after he finished his conversation with another club member.
He barreled toward us, his face clouded with dark displeasure.
“Anya. I told you to stay by my side.” He closed a proprietary hand around her wrist and glared at me.
I stared back, bored.
Victor Black, CEO of a media empire consisting of dozens of trashy but widely read newspapers and websites.
He was also one of the more annoying members of Valhalla.
“Sorry.” Anya didn’t sound sorry at all.
“Harper.” Victor gave me a nasty grin. “Shouldn’t you be spending your Friday night with your girlfriend instead of flirting with another man’s date?”
My smile iced at the indirect mention of Stella.
If we weren’t in public…
“You’re right,” I said amicably. “Have fun with your date.”
Victor’s grin wavered at my agreeable response. A hint of panic crept into his eyes as I stood and dropped a hundred-dollar bill in the tip jar.
“Where are you…”
I left without listening to the rest of his insipid question and made a pit stop at his prized sports car.
I may not have a gun on me since Valhalla didn’t allow weapons inside the club, but that didn’t mean I didn’t have other, less obvious weapons at my disposal.
Two minutes and one planted device later, I got into my car and drove home.
When I pulled up to the Mirage, I watched the security footage from outside Victor’s house on my phone. As expected, he’d left soon after me; his car pulled into his driveway less than ten minutes after I parked.
He and Anya exited the car and entered his house.
I waited until the door shut behind them before I activated the device.
I couldn’t hear the footage, but I could hear the boom in my head as his car exploded into flames.
By the time Victor ran out, it was already a twisted, blackened hunk of metal beneath the raging fire.
For the first time that night, I smiled a genuine smile.
Much better.
I tucked my phone into my pocket and straightened my jacket as I stepped out of the car.
He could probably guess who was behind his car’s untimely demise, but he wouldn’t do a damn thing about it. He was lucky I didn’t blow it up when he was in it.
Unfortunately, the relief I gained from fucking with Victor was short-lived.
Every step closer to my apartment reminded me of what happened with Stella.
We lived in the same house, yet I could feel her slipping away.
You’re not my boyfriend. I’m not sure if we’re even friends.
My jaw clenched.