He walked through the station with his head down after he left them. He was bitterly upset about how he had handled the meeting. He hailed a cab and went straight to Olivia’s. He called her cellphone and she didn’t pick up, but he suspected she was there. The doorman buzzed her when he got there, and sent him up to her apartment. He didn’t have keys yet. She was waiting at the door when he got upstairs. She looked even angrier than Pennie had, the moment she saw him.
“What the fuck was that?” were her first words to him. “How could you do that, and spring me on them? I thought you had at least warned them.” She went back into her apartment and he followed.
“I was going to. The right moment never happened.”
“So you let me walk into it blindly like an idiot and piss them all off? They’re going to hate me forever after that, and they probably would have anyway. But now we can be sure of it. You screwed everyone, Paul, them, me, your ex-wife. Even yourself.”
“I know. I didn’t think it would be like that. I was sure they’d fall in love with you, like I did.”
“Are you crazy? They’ve got divided loyalties. They don’t know anything about me, except now they can assume that I broke up their parents’ marriage, which I did. They’re going to blame me for your divorce forever. You told me the marriage was dead, but they don’t know that. It’s very much alive to them. I’m the interloper here, the intruder, the enemy. You put me in that position. You should have waited to introduce us, and you sure as hell should have warned them today, or even asked them if they wanted to meet me. Instead you cast me in the role of slut and home-wrecker. Shit, how do you expect that to play out after this?”
“They’ll get over it. They’re kids,” he said, underestimating them again, but Olivia didn’t. She knew better.
“They’re not five years old, as Pennie said. You can’t bullshit them, and you shouldn’t. Pennie is not a ‘kid,’ she’s almost a grown woman. She’s nearly eighteen, and she seems to know you have a girlfriend. And thanks for denying me entirely, by the way. If you couldn’t tell them I’m your girlfriend, I shouldn’t have met them.”
“It’s too soon, I wanted to start gently.”
“Well, you didn’t. The way you did it couldn’t have been much worse. And why are you here? Why aren’t you with them?”
“They left early,” he said, looking remorseful. “Right after lunch. You’re right. I’m sorry. I screwed it all up. I was naïve about how they’d react.”
“You were ridiculous to think you could pull that on them. I tried to warn you and you wouldn’t listen. Your kids are beautiful, by the way.”
“They look like their mother. Pennie is the image of her.”
“Seth looks just like you.” She smiled at him. She felt sorry for him. He had made a mess of the meeting, which would have been delicate anyway, and he had run roughshod over everyone’s feelings, including hers.
She calmed down after that, and they talked quietly and went for a walk, but it was a warning to her that Paul didn’t know what he was doing. She was flattered that he had wanted her to meet his children, but if he handled the divorce as badly as he handled their meeting, they were in for some rough times ahead. She told Paul that she wasn’t eager to inherit a ready-made family of angry children who would hate her forever.
“Are you saying I’m too old for you?” he asked her, worried.
“No. I’m saying that your life is complicated, maybe more than you want to admit to me or yourself. This isn’t going to be easy. I’m twenty-seven. I don’t want to be in the middle of a big mess with a lot of drama. I love you, and I love being with you, but I’m scared about your kids. They’re real people with their own feelings and opinions, and they love their mother. I just got off on the wrong foot with them, with your help.” She was suddenly reminded of what her mother had said to her, that this wasn’t just about her and Paul, there were four other people involved, his wife and three children, and inevitably there were going to be casualties. It couldn’t be avoided, and was the nature of divorce. Olivia could see that now. She had gotten her first taste of it, and she didn’t like it. She didn’t want to hurt anyone, but she was going to, and already had. That hadn’t been clear to her before. His children hadn’t been real to her until she met them. Now they were. It was a sobering thought that made their relationship less fun and less appealing. There were strings attached, heavy ones, and live people. His children would be marked forever by the divorce and how he handled it. He had just bungled an important piece of it for her. It was a lot to think about. She was quiet when they got back to her apartment.
They made love that afternoon, but she was pensive and quiet, and Paul was too. He couldn’t stop thinking about his children as he and Olivia lay in bed.
Three hours later, Eileen called him on his cell. He was still in bed with Olivia, watching a movie by then. She was livid.
“Do you have any idea how inappropriate it was to introduce our children, my children, to your girlfriend without my consent or theirs, a week after you left me? You haven’t even told me anything about her yet. Are you crazy, or just a total sonofabitch?” she screamed at him, and she wasn’t normally a screamer. “Where are your morals, your sense of decency? Who are you, Paul? And what kind of slut is she to be a party to this? Seth cried when he got home. He said you’re never coming back, she’s too young and beautiful and you’ll probably marry her. And Mark had a stomachache and went to bed. You tried to drag them to your side, and make them betray me. I can tell you, all that’s going to do is turn them against you, and lose me as your ally forever. I guess our marriage really is over.” She didn’t sound sad about it, just angry, which made her feel better and him worse. He didn’t want the role of the bastard, but now he had it.
“I told them I didn’t know if it was over or not. She left immediately when she saw how awkward it was and how uncomfortable they were. I don’t think she was there for more than ten minutes. I made a total mess of it. I agree with you, and I’m sorry. I should have asked you. I don’t know the ground rules here. I’ve never been in this situation before.”
“Neither have I, but I never cheated on you, and I wouldn’t introduce our children to my boyfriend, if I had one, a week after we split up. You disrespected everyone, me, yourself, and our children.”
“It won’t happen again, I promise. I’m sorry.” He sounded sincerely remorseful, but she hung up on him anyway. She had never done that before either. The lines had been drawn now, and Eileen realized he had obviously lost his mind over the girl he was sleeping with. Seth was probably right, he wouldn’t come back, and he’d marry her. She must be an idiot too, Eileen thought, to agree to meet them so soon. Or she was madly in love and as besotted as he was. Either way, Eileen knew now that she was fighting a losing battle to save their marriage. She had already lost him. It was why he’d been able to leave so easily and so quickly.