“Start from the beginning,” Bernadette urged gently. “And know we’re here for you.”
Flora sighed, set her teacup down and slowly told her two friends about what had happened at the museum. She told them about the erotic art, cheeks flaming as their eyes widened. And she told them about the near kiss, sparing no detail despite her discomfort in being so open with what had happened. Or almost happened.
“Oh,” Valaria said when she had finished. “And he hasn’t spoken to you since?”
“No,” Flora said. “Until…until this afternoon when I received a message from him. He wants to see me and I sent word back for him to join me tomorrow afternoon.”
Bernadette shook her head. “I can see why you’ve wanted to be alone. How confusing. Do you wish one of us to join you when he calls? Or perhaps both of us?”
“We’ll happily be your guards and stare him down,” Valaria added, her eyes flashing with protectiveness that Flora adored.
“No,” she said slowly. “I-I don’t need you to be there, as much as I appreciate the offer. I don’t think I need a guard at all. What I need is…that is what I was hoping to talk to you about was…was…”
“Go ahead,” Bernadette encouraged, taking both her hands and squeezing gently. “Anything.”
“I wanted to ask you how one might go about seducing a man.”
There, she had said it, and now she felt a little dizzy and hot. Worse, her two friends were staring at her like she’d just sprouted a second head or started speaking in tongues.
“I-I’m going to need you to clarify that,” Valaria said, both eyebrows lifted in question. Bernadette said nothing, just blinked at Flora, expression lined in shock.
“I tried to not feel it,” Flora began with a shake of her head. “I tried to talk myself out of it. But I wanted Roarke to kiss me at the museum. I was so disappointed when he didn’t. Truth be told, I wanted him to do…to do more than kiss me.” She lifted her hands to her face. “God, my cheeks are hot. I can’t even speak about it.”
“You’re doing fine,” Bernadette assured her, even though her voice was a little strained.
“I dream about him,” she whispered, because she might as well complete the humiliation. “And he’s doing a lot more than kissing me.”
There was a heavy silence in the room and Bernadette nodded. “You are allowed to want a man.” There was something wistful in her tone and Flora might have pushed the topic any other day, but today she needed help.
“Am I?” she asked. “I know neither of you had this experience and for that I’m sorry, but I did truly love Stuart. In the three years since his death, I’ve never even considered an affair or taken an interest in another person. I believed that I would likely live out the rest of my days as a widow, finding my satisfaction in my hobbies and my friends. I was content with that, or I thought I was. And then this man comes along and it’s like a lightning bolt.”
Valaria smiled slightly. “I know that feeling.”
“I want to know what it would be like if he kissed me. I look at him and my insides do things they never did with Stuart. Is that a betrayal? It both feels like one and it also feels natural.”
“Because it is!” Valaria burst out, passion lighting in her eyes. “We want as men want, we need as they do. I learned that with Callum. He made it safe for me to feel it. And you deserve passion and pleasure, Flora! You deserve to feel all those things and more. If this man wants you just as much. If he would protect you as you deserve.”
“I think he would,” Flora said. “I know he wanted me that day. I saw it in his eyes. All his hesitation, I think it is out of propriety. Or some belief that he shouldn’t approach me for more due to my position in life. But if I made the first move, if I were brave enough to ask for what I want…he would be careful. He would be…”
“Passionate,” Bernadette finished on a whisper. Almost a whimper. Both Valaria and Flora looked at her.
“Bernadette,” Valaria said gently.
She shook her head. “Don’t talk to me about it,” she insisted. “I can’t talk about it. Let’s concentrate on Flora.”
Flora was hesitant, but she could see that whatever Bernadette wanted, she truly wouldn’t speak of it yet. And so she allowed herself to refocus on what she’d come to discuss.
“But I’m still at a loss at what to do,” she said. “My marriage to Stuart was arranged, the fact that we would go to bed ordained by the vows we took. I didn’t have to catch his attention in that way—I expected he would have me and he was always very gentle when he did. It was nothing like those paintings, at any rate. So I have no idea how to seduce someone.”
Valaria let out a soft laugh. “You know, six months ago I would have told you I was the last person you should ask about seduction of a man.”
“I’m still the last person you should ask,” Bernadette said on a laughing sigh.
Valaria grinned at her. “We would have been three women at a loss. But I suppose time changes us all. So where do you want to start? I’ll share whatever knowledge I have now.”
“Please! Just start somewhere,” Flora said, leaning forward. She noticed Bernadette was doing the same, as if they were both about learn at the knee of a master.
Valaria drew a deep breath. “I suppose let us start on the subject of kissing.”
Roarke had felt sick when he left his cousin’s home three days before. So many times he’d considered going back and telling him to sod off. But a visit to his mother had brought that up short.
She looked so small sometimes. And all she had was him and Hilde, who needed to be fairly compensated for her work. So he had no choice.
He’d also felt sick when he sent his message to Flora and received her invitation in return. He felt sick now as he rode up her drive to meet with her. What he wanted to do was tell her the truth. All of the truth.
Perhaps he still should and then they could work out together what to do next. Even though she would hate him.
He pulled up on her drive and swung down from his horse, patting the beast’s shoulder absently before he handed over the reins to one of Flora’s servants. The door to her home was already open, her butler awaiting him with a sharp expression on his face. Protective? Perhaps that was it. If true, it wasn’t a surprise. A woman like Flora, who was so kind, likely inspired protective instincts from most decent people who met her.
Roarke didn’t feel like a particularly decent person at present.
“Good afternoon, Hendricks,” he said, handing over his gloves and hat.
“The duchess is expecting you,” Hendricks said, leading him to the parlor off the foyer. “Please wait here for Her Grace.”
He left then, off to find her, and Roarke paced the small room, running a hand through his hair absently, the terrible position he found himself in ricocheting through his mind.
His mother, with no protection because of him. Flora, hurt by what he had been told to do. And also thoughts of that day in the museum when she’d stared up at him and he’d wanted her so much. That hadn’t been a game or a lie.