He did the same, the raft wobbling with the motion. “So it’s true?”
“Yes,” she said.
Omar’s face was lined with worry. “What did you take? LSD? PCP? Something else with a bunch of capital letters? Keisha seems kind of crazy. I bet she’s into the hard stuff.”
“She’s not crazy,” Silvia said while laughing. “And all we did was smoke a joint together.”
“Oh.” That seemed to put Omar at ease. “Did you like it?”
“Yes,” she admitted. “It was fun.” But not a miracle solution by any means. When she had thought about her problems while high, they were just as intensified as all the good vibes had been.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Omar asked, looking distraught.
“I don’t know. I guess I didn’t want you to worry.”
“About weed? Who cares?! I’d love to smoke a joint. We could have done it together. I figured it must have been really bad drugs since you didn’t say anything. I was looking for needle marks on your arms when your eyes were closed.”
“I didn’t mean to worry you.”
Omar continued shaking his head. “I don’t get why you’d hide that from me. It was your first time, right? You had a major life experience. I always tell you mine.”
“Like when you managed to do a handplant the other day?”
“Yeah, exactly,” Omar said sullenly. “I wish you had been there. It was epic.”
Even mentioning skateboarding wasn’t enough to cheer him up again.
“It’s a bad habit,” she said with a sigh. “I’ve always played my cards close to my chest. But from now on, I promise to be more open.”
“Just more?” he asked, seeming unappeased. “Not completely?”
“Fine. I will tell you everything. Unless it’s embarrassing.”
“Like toilet stuff?”
“Especially the toilet stuff, yes.”
“Okay. I’m already open with you so…” He still looked a little wounded.
Silvia braced herself. She had thought about telling him today. Now was the perfect opportunity to show her trust. “There is something I haven’t told you yet. I keep hoping it won’t happen. And it might not. But my parents are thinking about moving.”
“What?” Omar’s face became drawn. “Why?”
“The situation with my dad. My parents think it would be better to start over somewhere else.”
“They’re wrong!” he said, grabbing her hands. “We’ve gotta come up with a better plan. Hey, my dad can hire him! I bet it would be good for business to have someone at the store who can speak Spanish.”
“That’s sweet, but I’m hoping once the cast comes off that he can work full time on Keisha’s farm. Or find another roofing job. But it still sucks, because I really really don’t like the idea of moving. Or saying goodbye to you.”
“Me neither,” Omar croaked. He let go of her hands, leaned forward, and kissed her. With his face still close to hers, he said, “But if it does happen, we’ll find a way of making it work. Okay?”
She nodded. “I’d be up in Chicago.”
“Oh.” Omar sat back. “Damn.”
“Yeah. But it’s still drivable.”
“We could meet halfway! Where would that be? St. Louis? Easy! If I don’t have a car by then, Anthony will loan me his, I know he will.” He looked momentarily pained, no doubt imagining how different things would be. “But I really don’t want you to go.”
“Me neither,” she said. “Right now we just have to wait and see.”
“Yeah. I guess so.”
They considered the possibility in silence. At least, that’s what she was thinking about.
“Do you have any more?” Omar asked suddenly.
“What?”
“Weed. I’ve never tried it.”
Silvia laughed. “I don’t. Sorry. And I don’t know where Keisha got it.”
“Are you going to smoke it again sometime?”
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “Maybe during the summer, when I don’t have to worry about school. We could try it together.”
“That would be rad. Of course I might be in summer school by then.” He grimaced. “Would you still love me if I got held back?”
“Omar! How bad are your grades?”
He shrugged sheepishly. “I’m a little worried. Or more like, a lot worried.”
“Then you better start studying instead of thinking about getting high with your girlfriend. Actually, make that your motivation. If you pass sophomore year, we’ll get stoned together as your reward.”
“Deal,” he said, perking up. “As long as we don’t have to do it with Keisha. I can’t decide if she hates me or not, but there’s definitely some bad blood there. I probably put glue in her hair when we were kids or something.”
“It’s not that,” Silvia said.
“What is it then?”
Oh. She was already regretting the promise of transparency. Then again, if she did move away, Omar would probably find out the truth sooner or later. She would rather it happen now, so she could explain herself. Maybe it would help if she eased into it—testing the waters while out on the water.
“Keisha likes me.”
“Yeah, so?” Omar said. Then his eyebrows shot up. “Oh, she likes you.”
“Yes.” Silvia replied tersely.
She knew that Omar was cool with gay guys, since there was no shortage of them in his social circles. But they hadn’t really talked about lesbians before. She watched as Omar replayed events from a new perspective.
“So what exactly?” he asked. “She was only acting mean because she’s jealous of me?”
“That’s part of the story,” Silvia said. “But not the whole truth. I liked her back.”
Omar shook his head in confusion. “In the same way?”
Silvia swallowed and nodded.
“But you still like guys, right?”
“Obviously!” she said with a nervous laugh. “I’m not faking it! I’m bisexual.”
“Holy shit… Are you serious?” Omar grinned suddenly. “Because that is insanely hot!”
He might not think so when finding out the rest. “It was confusing, actually. I didn’t know when we first met. Or even once Anthony came out.”
Omar’s grin faltered. “Wait, I thought this was a freshman year thing, or maybe junior high. When did you start liking Keisha?”
Silvia licked dry lips. “Around Christmas time.”
Omar’s forehead creased. “But we were together then.”
“I know—” She took his hand, gripping it tightly. “—and this is the worst part, because I messed up, but I do love you.”
“Messed up how?” Omar asked with a guarded expression.
“I kissed her. Just once. I was trying to figure out how I really felt, but the thing is, the kiss only confirmed how much I love you. Because no matter how attractive I find her, or how curious I am about that side of myself, I’d rather be with you. So I made a choice and I haven’t regretted it since. You’re the one I want to be with, Omar.”