“Probably because, other than you, there’s only two other guys here he could date. Did he come to your table?” Josh knew he had, just like he also knew Todd had turned his head.
“Maybe. I didn’t want to look in case he thought I was still interested in him.”
“Are you?”
“Of course I am. But I refuse to put my dreams on hold because he isn’t ready for a commitment. It’s not my fault his last partner broke his heart.”
“No, but it took me a while before I was ready to date after my wife left me. If you ask me, Matteo dating you exclusively for six months says a lot.”
“Of course you’d say that. The longest you’ve dated someone since your divorce is six hours.” Todd filled out a ranking card and held it up. “But I’d still date you.”
Josh laughed. “Thanks, but I’m done with dating.”
“Yeah, me too. Wanna grab a beer sometime?”
“Sure,” he said, standing up when Abby rang the bell. The guy Matteo had been talking to got up from behind his table and walked over to Todd’s. Todd grinned. “Maybe I was a little hasty.”
Josh took a seat in the chair in front of Em. She held up her ranking card. She’d written his name, and underneath, no in capital letters with three exclamation marks.
He wrote her name, and underneath, no in capital letters with four exclamation marks. He held it up. “Now that we’ve cleared that up, can we just sit and talk?”
“About what?”
“About why you don’t look like you’re having fun,” Josh said.
“It’s stupid.”
“Then why did you come?”
“I was trying to keep a promise to someone.” She shrugged and looked away. “I need to go to the ladies’ room.”
Josh pulled out his phone and played Wordle while he waited for her to come back, looking up when the bell rang. Todd glanced at him. “Wanna bet she’s not in the ladies’ room?”
Todd was right. Nor was Em on the other side buying a cupcake or at the bar buying a beer. After confirming with Raine that Em had driven herself to Highland Brew, Josh searched the parking lot for her car. It was gone. And the more he thought about it, he realized there was something off about her voice when she said she was trying to keep a promise. He had a feeling it wasn’t the promise she’d made to Bri. He didn’t like the thought of her driving home on her own when she was upset and got into his truck.
Ten minutes later, he spotted her car, headlights on, car door open, in exactly the same place he’d seen it a week ago today. His heart raced the same way it had that night. Only this time, Em was standing by the water, her arms wrapped around her waist as she stared out at the fast-flowing river shimmering silver in the moonlight.
Chapter Eleven
You don’t have to check on me. I’m fine,” Em said without turning around. She knew Josh wouldn’t be satisfied. He’d want to see for himself that she was all right. She brought her hands to her face, rubbing away the evidence of her tears. By the time she remembered she was wearing makeup, it was already too late. She probably had mascara all over her face. She supposed she could blame it on the mist hovering over the river but she wasn’t up to explaining anything.
It was just a stupid dating game. Her inability to take part like a normal thirty-year-old out for some Saturday night fun shouldn’t have hit her as hard as it did. It wouldn’t have if she hadn’t promised Brad. If he hadn’t looked so happy at the thought of her moving on with someone else. If her inability to move on and enjoy life didn’t affect his and their baby’s ability to move on.
“I’m not checking on you,” Josh said, coming to stand beside her. He tucked his hands in the pockets of his brown leather bomber jacket and looked at the river. “I needed quiet time communing with nature after communing with women who think I’m Highland Falls’ equivalent to the guy Matthew McConaughey played in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.”
She snorted. She’d been mad when she’d discovered him in line at Highland Brew, madder still that he thought she needed conversation starters, even though Abby had thought the same thing. It didn’t matter that they’d been right. She’d spent her first three dates glaring at Josh. He hadn’t noticed. He’d been too busy trying to make amends to the women who’d hoped for more from him than a couple dates.
She didn’t blame them. The dating pool in Highland Falls wasn’t that big, and Josh with his wavy black hair, sky-blue eyes, and chiseled jaw was the town’s most sought-after bachelor. She imagined his inability to commit was part of the attraction. Everyone loved a challenge. But tonight would’ve been hard on Josh. He’d never intentionally hurt anyone. It wasn’t in his DNA.
He was surprisingly oblivious to the impact he had on people, women in particular. He’d been the same way in high school. She’d always been fascinated by how easily he drew people to him, how easily he’d made friends. It was kind of comforting knowing Mr. Personality had had a lousy time tonight too.
“Is that a smile, Freckles?”
She shrugged. “I didn’t know you were into rom-coms. All you and Cal ever watched was ESPN.”
“Amber liked them. My sister and mom too.” His smile faded, and he looked at the river. “A week ago, you almost died here, Em. Isn’t it hard for you to be here?”
The air was damp and chilly, and she shivered, hugging herself tighter as her gaze went to the middle of the river. They’d pulled Steve and Jenny’s SUV from the water two days earlier. She considered his question before answering. “No. We all made it out alive.”
Josh shrugged out of his jacket, laying it over her shoulders. “You’re cold. I’m not,” he said when she opened her mouth.
“I wasn’t going to argue. I was going to say thanks.” She put it on, the warmth from Josh’s body and the smell of his cologne enveloping her like a hug.
“Huh, twice in a week,” he said, then smiled. “You’re welcome.” His gaze went back to the river. “So it really doesn’t bother you?”
She snuggled deeper into the jacket, and maybe because it smelled like Brad, she told Josh what she hadn’t told anyone else. “I knew I was going to die, and I was okay with that, but then I saw Brad.” She glanced at Josh, waiting for him to react, but he simply nodded.
“Why doesn’t that surprise you?”
“I’m a first responder, Em. You’re not the only person I know who’s had a near-death experience. And we were with my grandma when she died. A few hours before she passed, she started talking to my grandfather like he was there. He’d died the year before.” Josh shrugged. “It was nice, comforting even.”
“But you don’t believe she really saw your grandfather. You think it has something to do with oxygen deprivation, don’t you?”
His gaze roamed her face. “You didn’t just see Brad when you were dying, did you?”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because I was in the ambulance with you, and you told me you loved me. But it wasn’t me you were talking to, it was Brad.” He shook his head. “I knew something was off. It was the same with Gus.”