He leaned forward. Cautiously she looked up into his face. Her body trembled. The cause may have been the fury she’d just released, or perhaps fear of his anticipated reaction. Then she took in his expression and without warning the trembling stopped. His eyes were soft, the color of melted chocolate -- even sad, overflowing with regret. He reached for her hand and gently tugged. Slowly, Claire released her appendage, allowing it to sit in his large palm. Tenderly he closed his fingers encasing her petite hand.
“I am deeply sorry for one and four.” He rubbed the top of her hand with his thumb. “I did provide you with an alternative destination for number four.” Claire exhaled audibly, Tony continued, “I am not proud of two, but three would never have happened without it.” His tone deepened and slowed, “I am not, and never will be sorry for three. And, for the record, I never lied about or pretended to love you. I didn’t realize it at first, but I have loved you since before you knew my name.” He slowly lifted the hand he held and lowered his lips to the firm soft skin. “And, you forgot our divorce. I am sincerely sorry for that also. Had I known you would be released so soon, we could still be married.” He placed her left hand on her knee, and stroked her empty fourth finger. “You could still officially be mine.”
Was he implying that unofficially she still was? He waited.
As Claire contemplated Tony’s words, she thought about her rings. Did he know she’d sold them? Then she noticed him eying the two cellphones on the table, in front of her. She quickly reached for her Emily phone and slid it into her camisole between her breasts. Yoga pants don’t have pockets.
Tony closed his eyes and gently shook his head. “If I didn’t want to see that phone before, I sure as hell do now.”
“It’s my work phone.” When had lying become so easy?
“Oh, I was unaware of your employment.”
“Really, I guess I forgot to inform you or your spies.” She didn’t think it was appropriate to use Phillip’s name.
“Claire, I want to show you that I can change. Have as many damn phones as you want. Two seem excessive, but go for it.”
“Thank you for your permission. I don’t need it. I can have fifty phones, if I want.”
Tony nodded, with a stupid grin and a spark in his eyes. Claire continued, “It’s documented, when a person is forbidden something, once it’s made available, they tend to overindulge.”
Tony met her gaze, his tone a sultry melody, “Before it is made available, a person may dream of it, long for it, and fantasize about it. Especially if they once had it and know how amazing it is.”
God she hated him, and not! Her insides tightened as the feelings from last night returned. The inappropriate sensations, deep inside, threatened her irrelevant tone. “I don’t recall availability being an issue for you.”
“Be careful, Claire. That could be interpreted as an invitation.”
“Then once again, you would be misinterpreting.” She stood.
He stood and stepped toward her. She remained strong and defiant, straightening her spine and standing as tall, as her five–four frame would allow. At the same time, she wanted to crumble. Their bodies stood resolute, untouching, separated by inches. Those inches might as well have been miles. The space created a deep chasm, filled with a magnitude of baggage and memories. Impassable, the gorge served as an insurmountable barrier.
Or, could the gap be closed? His voice held more than a hint of sensuality, “I believe you want, what I want, as much as I do.”
Claire feigned strength and ignorance. What had she told Phillip Roach? She said, she didn’t recommend lying to her ex-husband. Yet, here she was, giving it her all. “If you’re suggesting I want you to leave, you are absolutely correct. If you’re suggesting anything else, it couldn’t be farther from the truth.” His cologne penetrated her subconscious, the same exhilarating scent that infiltrated her dreams.
His head bowed slightly. Claire feared he would kiss her. She wanted to back away and at the same time, she wanted to feel his lips on hers. She fought the urge to lift her chin toward him, surrendering her hungry mouth.
The only possible conclusion she could ascertain was Tony was a giant magnet. His pull affected everything, from the rotation of the earth, to her mind’s ability to reason. Losing her battle, she slowly tilted her face upward.
He gently held her chin, as his voice continued with its seductive undertone, “You, my dear, have never been a good liar.”
In a moment of strength, Claire backed away and sat, exasperated. She’d willingly admit defeat in this stupid stare-off. His proximity was more than she could bear. She needed air and space. Her arms once again crossed her heaving bosom, igniting friction on her disloyal nipples. Frustrated, she admitted, “You’re right. Your deceitfulness far exceeds my modest attempts at dishonesty. I bow-down to your superior duplicity.”
Tony retook his seat on the sofa as his knee touched hers. “I know you have no reason to believe me, but I thought you should know why I came to California.”
She looked up into his genuine gaze, “Why?”
“To take you back to Iowa.”
Claire stared at her ex-husband. A momentary feeling of panic filled her senses. She sat dumbfounded, unable to respond, afraid to trust her own voice. The appealing idea to slap his smug face and scream at him, danced through her consciousness. She knew she couldn’t do it. She’d already pushed her luck with her earlier verbal tirade. Nevertheless, the fleeting thought made her smile. Simultaneously, she fought the desires she’d been experiencing all night. That traitorous part of her wanted to forget all reason and take whatever he offered, and more. Eventually, wisdom prevailed; she responded, “Well, since this time I have a choice, I’m going to say no.”
“Catherine misses you.”
She searched his face for insincerity and found none. However, she’d misjudged that in the past. The sound of the woman’s name made her heart ache. Claire had no reason to lie, “I miss her, too.” Hesitantly she asked, “Does she believe I tried to kill you?”
His half smile and softened eyes disappeared. Breaking the connection he looked down at his own hands. Shaking his head slightly, he answered, “I’m not sure. We’ve never discussed it. I know at first she was worried about me. Then once I was well, she was upset, but I don’t know for sure if it was at you or at me. The subject’s never come up.”
“Then how do you know she misses me?”
“I just do. When word came of your pardon...”
She interrupted him, “You were angry.”
This time he stood and paced. Claire watched his jaw clench and unclench. She’d seen it before; his attempt to maintain control. Part of her wanted him to lose it, not a masochistic desire, more clarification. The frightening domineering man was much easier to resist than the sensual, apologetic one.
Tony stopped at the large windows. His back toward her, he seemed to be absorbing the view, taking in the mountains and sunlit sky. Silently she waited and watched. Eventually his shoulders squared, and with his back still toward her, she heard his restrained voice, “I was. I admit I was... stunned. Governor Preston informed me of your release two weeks after it occurred.” He emphasized the two weeks. “I was angry at everyone, at you for being pardoned, at Jane Allyson for presenting the petition, at Governor Bosley for signing it. Hell, I was even mad at the clerk that filed it.” He turned toward her. She knew those black eyes. He may have restrained his voice, but his true emotion shone like beacons through his intense gaze. Refusing to look away, Claire met his stare with her own intensity. He went on, “I finally figured out, the person I was the most upset with, was me. For the first time in years, yes more than three -- you know that now-- I’d lost track of you.” His volume increased, “My god, you were gone!”