What is that supposed to mean? He didn’t want me to find out? He was fucking with my head? Which exactly?
“I’m here.” He licks my lips again, as if tasting them for the first time. “Why did you want to meet?”
When I don’t speak, his fingers leave my jaw and wrap around my throat so tight, I nearly suffocate.
“What did you plan to do with Jason?”
“N-nothing,” I choke out.
“You expect me to believe that?” He snarls at my face.
“I only wanted to ask him about Arianna. That’s all.”
“Why have you become such an expert liar?”
I glare up at him with all the energy I have considering his hand is cutting off my air supply. “I’m not lying. You are.”
That causes him to loosen his grip a little, but he still has me pinned against the door. His free arm slams above my head so he’s leaning on it and staring down at me. “I am?”
“You knew who I was all along, but you never once considered telling me who you are. You’re a fucking liar, Ash.”
It hits me then—all the things I told him via messages, every dark thought I talked about and confessed, not to mention all the sexual things we did in the past.
He owned a part of me and made me feel bad, thinking I cheated on him.
The asshole.
He strokes his thumb over my pulse point. “You knew.”
“I…did?”
“You hid it well, but yes, you did. Last year, I was fucking you from behind while you were half-asleep and you called out my name.” He sighs, the sound long and baffled. “You even asked me to stay. Why the fuck did you ask me to stay?”
It all comes back to me.
Not in flashbacks, but in little tangible memories. The way he held my hair as he fucked me with the urgency of a dying man, the way he kissed me hard and rough and made me come over and over again.
He was brutal, unapologetic, and used me up in every way possible. However, he pleased me, too. He looked at me with those bright green eyes through that black mask and told me without words how much he’s obsessed with me, almost as much as I’m obsessed with him. He showed me in his actions how much being away never erased the connection we had.
Of course I knew who he was. I knew the moment I saw his eyes when he walked into the party. There are no pairs like them in the entire world—at least not for me.
There’s no way the careful, standoffish Reina would’ve had a one-night stand. I was a calculating person who always looked ahead and plotted everything. One-night stands didn’t fit my agenda.
The only reason I did it was because I knew it was Asher. The camouflage of the costumes gave me the anonymity I needed to surrender to him.
“Because I wanted you to,” I say easily. “I wanted you to stay, Ash.”
He pauses, his finger freezing at my throat. “You remember?”
“A few things,” I murmur. “Those two times weren’t the only ones, were they? There was another one before you went to England.”
The memories are trickling in slowly, almost as if they’re in the air and I have to jump up to catch them.
He speaks as if easing me into those recollections. “At Sebastian’s lake house. It was dark and we were both drunk. I knew it was you because I was trailing your ass, but you didn’t. At least, I thought you didn’t.” His nostrils flare. “You knew about that, too?”
“Of course I did.” I smile a little. “I was trailing your ass, too. I just wasn’t so obvious about it. That’s what I did, you know. I watched from afar, stalked from afar, and told myself it was enough. That night, it wasn’t. Could’ve been the alcohol or the fact that you were leaving the following morning and I would never see you again, but I had to be with you, even for one night.”
Tears stream down my cheeks as the intensity of my emotions at the time slams into me. Even though I was drunk, nothing could’ve lessened the ache or the fact that I’d have to live in a world without him.
It was when the gloomy cloud struck the hardest.
“So I snuck to Bastian’s lake house, knowing you’d follow me. I even removed the jacket and shoes on purpose. I needed to feel you, even if just once.”
“Fuck, Reina.” He slams his hand beside my head. “Fuck! Why didn’t you say anything?”
“It would’ve broken the spell. You hated me back then, Ash.” I gulp. “More than any time, I mean.”
“So you made me believe you were fine with a one-night stand with a nobody after you always pushed me away?” He almost sounds bitter.
“You weren’t a nobody. You were you.”
“I thought you allowed a stranger to fuck you, Reina. I fucking hated you for it even though it was me.”
“Small price to pay, I guess. Besides, I wouldn’t have given my virginity to a stranger.”
He pauses, and I pause, too, realizing what I just admitted.
Asher took my virginity. Fucking hell.
“I didn’t know that.” His brows furrow. “You didn’t bleed or anything. You weren’t in pain either.”
I shrug, my cheeks heating. “Because it didn’t hurt.”
At that point, I’d wanted Asher for so long, having sex with him had become my favorite fantasy, so when it actually came true, I couldn’t keep up with the fact that it was better than any fantasy I could’ve had.
Of course it didn’t hurt; I was too aroused for that.
He picks me up in his arms and cuts the distance from the hotel’s living room to the bedroom. I squeal as he throws me on the bed in pure caveman fashion. My heart stammers loud and hard as I lie on my back. Asher yanks down my jeans, and I grip his arm. “W-wait.”
“I’ve waited long enough. I’m not waiting anymore.”
“Let me call my security—they’ll come up if I don’t.”
He groans in disapproval but throws me my bag. “You brought them for Jason?”
“As I said, I wasn’t interested in anything but talking with him.”
Which clearly isn’t the case with Asher.
It takes me a second too long to retrieve my phone with my trembling fingers and dial the head of my security, Gaige.
“Miss Reina.”
Asher doesn’t break eye contact as he pulls his T-shirt over his head, revealing his sculpted abs. The tattoo ripples over his bicep as he reaches down to his pants and undoes the button, agonizingly slowly. Then he pushes his jeans and boxer briefs down his legs in one go.
Oh, God.
He’s hard, thick, and ready. My own thighs clench in anticipation.
“Miss Reina?” Gaige’s gravelly voice pulls me out of the strip show.
“Uh, yes. I’m good, Gaige. I’m spending the night with Asher. You can go back.”
“We’ll stay here, too.”
“It’s okay.” I try not to sound breathy. “Nothing can happen to me here.”
And I mean it. I feel safer than ever when I’m with this infuriating but deeply wounded man.
I’m wounded, too, have been since childhood, and being with him has given me the hope I’ll be able to heal.
We’ll be able to heal each other.
“Very well, Miss Reina. I’ll stay just in case. Call me if anything happens.”