Besides which, Artemis might be messing with things she shouldn’t, but it’s not like she’s my enemy. She can’t be. I continue, deliberately leaving her out. Doug stares at me, but I trust he won’t contradict me. “I ran into a few weird demons. Anyway, we got some information that led us to Leo. And to Oz, and these three Slayers, all of whom were in immediate mortal peril thanks to your ally, Von Alston.” My mother’s face twitches, but she doesn’t interrupt me. “I didn’t leave him on polite terms, exactly, but I definitely didn’t kill him. And he didn’t know I was a Watcher. He thought I was a rogue Slayer.”
“So you didn’t gouge out his eyes and then snap his neck?” Rhys asks.
I give him the most brutal glare I’m capable of. Chao-Ahn would approve. “Pretty sure I’d remember it. A girl never forgets her first eye gouging, or so I’ve heard.”
“That’s true!” Tsip chirps cheerfully.
“And you’re positive it couldn’t have been Leo.” Rhys peers into the van, then deflates and lowers the crossbow. Leo is in no state for neck-snapping. And that wouldn’t be his method, anyway. Incubi and succubi drain life force from victims, but usually only when they’re sleeping so there’s no resistance.
“His eyes were gouged out?” I ask, puzzled.
“Gone.” Rhys pushes his glasses back into place. “They were either taken for some reason, or eaten.”
“Eew,” I groan.
“What? We were all thinking it.”
“No. Nope. None of us were until you said that.”
“Well, I can research demons that consume eyes. Though none of the guards had their eyes removed. So it might have been for fun, rather than a specific pathology. Which, unfortunately, doesn’t narrow down suspect species. If only I knew whether the eyes were eaten.” Rhys stares into space, already absorbed with his theories and doubtless planning the research he’ll do as soon as we get back to the castle.
“Doug, Rhys, help Leo into the other car,” my mother says.
“I can help,” Oz says. “Don’t be fooled by my elfin good looks. I’m quite handy with demon transportation.”
I shake my head. “No, he’s okay where he—”
My mother takes my arm and gently steers me away from the others. “We debated whether or not to allow Leo back in the castle at all.”
“What? You made a decision without me? That’s not fair! Besides, I—”
“Nina. Might I remind you that you made the decision to go to Ian Von Alston’s estate after we made the decision not to. Sometimes you have to do the best with a situation as it presents itself. I wish you hadn’t, but—”
“Mom! He is—was—a creep of the highest order. We can’t want or need him for an ally.” I think of the money in the van and feel a twinge of guilt that I took it. Won’t do him any good now, anyway.
“We can’t fight every battle.”
“You’re still acting like a Watcher! Picking and choosing who’s worth fighting based on the benefit to us. I don’t care if I have to get a job, or if we have to send Jade out to work—actually, can we? That’s a great idea. But we’ll get money another way. Keeping allies like Von Alston because they might potentially help us someday, knowing they’re hurting vulnerable people and demons and whatever in the meantime? That’s wrong. That’s old-school Watcher crap. I won’t do it.”
My mother stiffens, and I instinctively cringe, bracing myself for her rejection. But instead of telling me I did wrong, she takes a few breaths and closes her eyes. I can see her physically changing course, trying to find a place where we can talk instead of fight.
And while Nina of the past would have been thrilled, I’m not. I want to fight. I want her to tell me I messed up. Because if she does, then I’ll feel justified in keeping secrets from her again. Secrets like what Artemis was doing. But my mother being understanding and working to meet me in the middle leaves me riddled with guilt over keeping things from her.
She finally smiles, but it’s sad. “You’re right. I made a decision like a Watcher. It’s the only way I know how to make decisions, and the only way I know how to protect you. You care so much, you love so hard, and I don’t understand it. It terrifies me.”
There it is. I fold my arms. “You think I’m stupid, or naive?”
“No. No, I think it’s tremendously brave. Braver than I’ve ever been.” She closes the space between us and presses a quick kiss to my forehead. It’s awkward but not unwelcome. But it hurts, because it reminds me of what I’m missing in our family. Artemis was my ally, my companion, my friend. I’m still acting like she is, in spite of evidence to the contrary, because it’s the only way I can hope she will be again.
My mother smooths my hair back, but she can’t do it like Artemis used to. “You were right to look into what was happening at Von Alston’s. And I’m glad you saved those Slayers and that odd man, and that you found Leo. But we have an entire community to worry about. And while your points in defense of Leo remain true, his heroics do not erase the fact that he knew his mother was a demonic predator and never told the Council or warned us until it was almost too late.”
She’s right. I know she is. But she’s also wrong. “If we kicked people out of the castle for keeping secrets, none of us would be there.”
My mother surprises me by laughing. It’s soft, almost more an exhalation, but it’s not the reaction I was expecting. “That’s very true. And it’s why I argued that Leo should be allowed to return. But under very specific, guarded conditions, until we can determine whether he poses any threat.”
“He can barely move!”
“We’ll also research how to help him. And we will help him. But I think it’s best if you leave Leo’s care—which will be protective both for and against him—to me.”
“But I can—”
“Can you be impartial when it comes to him?” There’s no accusation in her tone. She waits for my response. And I want to insist that I can. But when it comes to Leo, I’ve never been capable of that. Even now knowing he’s right there fills me with every emotion imaginable, none of them rational or impartial.
My mother takes my silence as confirmation of her suspicions. “Right, then. We’re agreed. Leo is my responsibility. You have enough to deal with. Part of the agreement to allow him back in the castle is that he has to be restrained and under guard. We have the cells on the bottom floor of the castle.”
“Absolutely not. He’s already sick, Mom.” I went down there after Artemis left. I had no idea the prison existed; another dark secret of Watcher Society I was never privy to. The scent of damp rock, rust, and the lingering sense of despair and pain were not really my taste in decoration. “We can’t keep him down there. Put him in his mother’s old rooms. Or Wanda’s. Or Bradford’s. Or any of the rooms in the dorm wing.” We have so many empty spaces. Though I guess the Slayers will need some of it. And Oz, if he’s staying. I never asked.
“I’ll make a decision. But it won’t be the cells. I can get chains from storage.”