I call her.
“Jack Hyde’s office—”
“You assured me you wouldn’t go out.”
“Jack sent me out for some lunch. I couldn’t say no. Are you having me watched?” She sounds incredulous.
I ignore her question. “This is why I didn’t want you going back to work.”
“Christian, please. You’re being so suffocating.”
“Suffocating?”
“Yes. You have to stop this. I’ll talk to you this evening. Unfortunately, I have to work late because I can’t go to New York.”
“Anastasia, I don’t want to suffocate you.”
“Well, you are. I have work to do. I’ll talk to you later.” She sounds as miserable as I feel and she hangs up.
I’m suffocating her?
Maybe I am…
I just want to protect her. I saw what Leila did to her car.
Don’t push her too far, Grey.
She’ll leave.
FLYNN HAS A REAL log fire burning in his office. It’s June. It spits and crackles as we talk.
“You bought the company where she works?” Flynn asks with raised eyebrows.
“Yes.”
“I think Ana has a point. I’m not surprised she feels suffocated.”
I shift in my chair. This is not what I want to hear. “I wanted to get into publishing.”
Flynn remains impassive, giving nothing away, waiting for me to speak.
“It’s over the top, isn’t it?” I concede.
“Yes.”
“She wasn’t impressed.”
“Did you set out to impress her?”
“No. That wasn’t my intention. Anyway, SIP is mine now.”
“I understand that you’re trying to protect her, and I know why you’re trying to do that. But this is an out-of-the-ordinary reaction. You have a bank account that allows you to do this, but you will drive her away if you continue on this path.”
“That’s what I’m worried about.”
“Christian, you have a great deal to contend with at the moment. Leila Williams—and yes, I will help you when you find her—Anastasia’s animosity toward Elena…I think you can understand why Ana feels that way.” He gives me a pointed look.
I shrug, unwilling to agree with him.
“But there’s something much bigger you’re not telling me, and I’ve been waiting for you to tell me since you arrived here. I saw it on Saturday.”
I stare at him, wondering what he’s talking about. He sits patiently. Waiting.
He saw it on Saturday?
The bidding?
The dancing?
Shit.
“I’m in love with Ana.”
“Thank you. I know.”
“Oh.”
“I could have told you that when you came to see me after she left you. I’m glad you worked it out for yourself.”
“I didn’t know I was capable of feeling like this.”
“Of course you’re capable.” He sounds exasperated. “That’s why I was so interested in your reaction when she told you that she loved you.”
“It’s getting easier to hear.”
He smiles. “Good. I’m glad.”
“I’ve always been able to separate the different aspects of my life. My work. My family. My sex life. I understood what each of these meant to me. But since I met Ana, it’s not as simple anymore. It’s entirely unfamiliar and I feel out of my depth and out of control.”
“Welcome to falling in love.” Flynn smiles. “And don’t be too hard on yourself. You have an ex on the loose with a gun who has already tried to get your attention by attempting suicide in front of your housekeeper. And she’s vandalized Ana’s car. You’ve put measures in place to keep Ana and you safe. You’ve done all you can. You can’t be everywhere, and you can’t keep Ana locked up.”
“I want to.”
“I know you do. But you can’t. Simple.”
I shake my head, but deep down I know John’s right.
“Christian, I’ve long held the belief that you never really had an adolescence—emotionally speaking. I think you’re experiencing it now. I can see how agitated you are,” he continues, “and since you won’t let me prescribe you any anti-anxiety medication, I’d like you to try the relaxation techniques we discussed.”
Oh, not that shit. I roll my eyes, but I know I’m behaving like a sulky teenager. He just said as much.
“Christian, it’s your blood pressure. Not mine.”
“Okay.” I hold my hands up in surrender. “I’ll try my happy place.” I sound sarcastic, but it will appease John, who’s looking at the clock.
Where is my happy place?
My childhood in the orchard.
Sailing or soaring. Always.
It used to be with Elena.
But now my happy place is with Ana.
In Ana.
Flynn stifles a smile. “Time’s up,” he says.
FROM THE BACK OF the Audi, I call Ana.
“Hi,” she says, her voice quiet and breathy.
“Hi. When will you be finished?”
“By seven thirty, I think.”
“I’ll meet you outside.”
“Okay.”
Thank God—I thought she might say she wanted to go back to her own apartment.
“I’m still mad at you, but that’s all,” she whispers. “We have a lot to talk about.”
“I know. See you at seven thirty.”
“I have to go. See you later.” She hangs up.
“Let’s sit here and wait for her,” I say to Taylor, and glance at the front door of SIP.
“Okay, sir.”
And I sit and listen to the rain as it drums an uneven tattoo on the roof of the car, drowning out my thoughts. Drowning out my happy place.
AN HOUR LATER, the door to SIP opens and there she is. Taylor climbs out of the car and opens the door as Ana hurries toward us, head down to avoid the rain.
I have no idea what she’s going to do or say as she shuffles in beside me, but she’s shaking her head and scattering droplets of water over me and the backseat.
I want to hold her.
“Hi,” she says, and her anxious eyes meet mine.
“Hi,” I respond and, reaching over, I grasp her hand and squeeze it.
“Are you still mad?” I ask.
“I don’t know,” she says.
I bring her hand to my lips and kiss each knuckle in turn. “It’s been a shitty day.”
“Yes, it has.” Her shoulders slump and she seems to relax into the car seat as she lets out a deep breath.
“It’s better now that you’re here.” I run my thumb across her knuckles, craving the contact. As Taylor drives us home, the day’s woes seem to dissipate and at last I start to relax.
She’s here. She’s safe.
She’s with me.
Taylor stops outside Escala and I’m not sure why. But Ana is already opening the door, so I jump out after her and we run into the building and out of the rain. I grasp her hand as we wait for the elevator, surveying the street through the plate glass. Just in case.
“I take it you haven’t found Leila yet,” Ana says.