Holy shit.
She’s right fucking here.
I wrap my arms around her trembling body and squeeze so hard I’m afraid I might crush her. Even when she’s in heels, her head fits under my chin. I don’t move. I don’t breathe. I close my eyes and pretend that time has stopped, just for us. That tomorrow isn’t coming. That we’re fleshy statues now, and we can stay like this forever.
But we can’t because Rain’s trembles are now full-body shudders as the sob she’s been trying to hold in leaks out all over my orange jumpsuit.
“Wes,” she cries, burying her face in my neck. “I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have let them take you! I should have—”
“Shh.” I smooth a hand over her hair and feel her breath, hot and desperate, on my skin.
Rain lifts her tear-streaked face. Her pouty red lips tremble as they pull into a frown, but before she can let out another sob, I seal her mouth with mine. She tastes sad and girlie—all salty tears and cherry lip gloss—but she kisses me back with the determination of a woman. Her tongue slides and swirls around mine. Her tits, practically bursting out of that too-tight blouse, press against my chest. And her hands dive into my hair, holding me like a balloon in danger of floating away. Then, her kisses begin to roam.
“I love you so much,” she murmurs, kissing my cheek.
“Oh my God, I missed you.” Her kisses trace the line of my jaw.
“This is all my fault.” She breathes against my neck. “I’m gonna get you out. I promise. I’ll … I’ll figure something out.”
“Hey.” I capture her face in my hands and tilt it back so that I can stare directly into her wide, panicking eyes when I tell her, “I’ll get myself out. Do you hear me? You shouldn’t be here.”
Rain’s eyelids close as she exhales a quiet, shuddering sob. “This is the only place I want to be.”
Without looking up, Rain grips my zipper and slides it down my chest. I grit my teeth as she reaches in and wraps her arms around my exposed torso, pressing her wet cheek against my bare skin. My eyes sting. My lungs scream for air. Nothing fucking hurts as much as this woman’s touch. It filets me like a dull knife. At first, it hurt because I realized that no one had ever cared for me like that before. Then, it killed me because I knew once she left, no one ever would again. But now? Now, her love cuts me down where I stand because I can no longer deny how much I want it.
I don’t want to die for her or let her go or try to convince myself that she belongs with someone else. I never did. The soul-crushing truth is that I want her more than I’ve ever wanted anything. I want her by my side and in my bed and in my life forever. I still don’t believe that God will let me have her, but until he pries her out of my cold, dead hands, I’m going to keep fighting.
Rain pushes the orange fabric over my shoulders, and I shrug it off like a skin I’ve outgrown. Her fingernails graze my sides as she kisses my tattoos, lingering over the wilted pink lily on my ribs. My fist grips her hair as her fingertips trace the edge of my government-issued boxers. Rain slides them down slowly as she sinks to her knees. I can feel my heartbeat in my cock as it falls forward, seeking her warmth. As badly as I want to yank her back up and fuck her properly, the image of her red lips wrapped around my dick is one I simply can’t go to my grave without seeing.
Rain’s black lashes fan out across her flushed cheeks as she licks me from base to tip, swirling her tongue around my swollen, throbbing head. My chest aches as she takes me into her mouth, as I watch her crimson lips slide over my cock and her cheeks hollow as she sucks me off, but when she opens her big blue eyes and looks up at me, the sensation is more intense than I ever fucking imagined.
This is her love for me. This is her selflessness. This is her risking her life to get to me, just to spend what little time we have left trying to make me feel good.
“Come here,” I whisper, cupping her face and wiping the mascara from under her eyes with my thumbs.
Rain doesn’t break eye contact as she slides her lips down my length one last time, and I’m overwhelmed with the need to feel her everywhere. I pull her to her feet and make quick work of the buttons on her blouse as I nip and suck at the overheated skin beneath her ear.
“We don’t have much time left, and I want to spend it inside you,” I growl, feeling a ripple of goose bumps pebble under my lips.
Yanking her tight skirt up over her full hips, I palm her perfect, round ass as I kiss my way down to her bra. Sucking one straining nipple through the black lacy fabric, I slide my hand between her legs and tease her slit over her panties. They’re already soaked through. My mouth waters. I know we don’t have much time left, but I need to lick her. I need to taste her.
If this is my last meal, I’m gonna fucking savor it.
Dropping to my knees, I trace the edge of Rain’s silky panties with my finger before sliding them to one side. I don’t take my time, and I don’t ease her in. I run my tongue along her soft, slippery flesh and stifle a moan as the flavor coats my tongue.
Fucking perfect.
Rain hisses and grabs my hair as I suck and lick and devour her pussy, alternating between pulling me closer and trying to push me away.
“Wes,” she whispers, her voice needy and breathless. “Please. I need you.”
Those words are my undoing. I press her back against the one cinder-block wall that’s hidden from the hallway, pull her knee over my hip, and fill her so deep and so hard that she has to bite my lip to keep from moaning.
“Fuck,” I snarl, filling her again.
She feels so fucking good, so warm and soft and right and mine, that for a minute, I wonder if I’m already dead.
Not even heaven could feel as good as this.
“I love you,” Rain whispers against my mouth.
The sadness in her shaky voice hits me like a fist to the heart.
I wrap my hand around her jaw and force her to look at me as I thrust into her again. “I love you more.”
It’s not a fucking question.
“If I can’t get you out of here …” Her words trail off with a gasp.
“That’s not your job. Do you hear me? You just stay safe.”
Rain closes her eyes, and I feel her chin buckle under my palm. “I can’t lose you, Wes.”
“Hey, look at me.”
Rain opens her tortured eyes and slays me with a single sentence. “We can’t lose you.”
We.
I gaze down the length of her beautiful torso, over her swollen, flushed-pink tits, and down to her still-flat belly. I realize I’m no longer fucking her.
I’m marveling at her.
“I took a test.” She swallows. “You were right.”
“Fuck. Rain …” I cup her face in my hand and kiss her again, not out of lust or loss or the elapsing of time, but out of pure, soul-crushing love.
When I fill her again, it’s because that’s the only way I can get closer to her. And when I feel her contract around me, when her breaths turn to whimpers and she whispers that she loves me again, I pour myself into her on a muffled cry.
I thought I wanted to be a good dad, like Doug.
But fuck that.
Good dads die for their families.
I’m gonna live for mine.