She nods. Maybe the best option is to wait until the woman is asleep and try to tiptoe past her, but as a plan it doesn’t fill me with confidence. She might glance at the door and see the key has gone. I need to think of something better. There is no window, other than a roof light in the sloping ceiling, and I don’t know if I would be able to get us out through there.
I’m about to stand on the bed to look out of the window to check if there’s a way we could climb down the roof and get away when I hear footsteps, and they’re right outside the door.
I put my finger to my lips, and Millie nods.
The door rattles.
‘Millie? Are you in there?’
I gasp with surprise. I know that voice. How does she know we’re here? How has she found us?
I don’t care how, and my heart lifts. I turn to grin at Millie and push myself off the bed, hurrying towards the door.
Millie races after me, reaches out and grabs my arm as I turn the key. ‘No, Mummy!’
‘It’s okay, Millie, it’s—’
‘Did I leave the key in the door? Silly Mummy. You don’t need to lock yourself in, my darling. Mummy won’t be cross.’
Goosebumps spring up and cover my whole body. She’s not talking about me; she’s talking about herself.
But it’s too late. I’ve already unlocked the door and turned the handle.
86
Before I can slam the door and lock it again, a black-booted foot appears in the gap.
‘Good girl, Millie. Move back from the door, darling. Mummy doesn’t want to hurt you. I’ve got a nice mug of cocoa for you, and some news about Daddy.’
That does it. I yank the door open.
‘Shona? What the hell’s going on? What are you doing?’
Her eyes go wide at the sight of me, and the mug she is holding crashes to the floor, the chocolatey liquid splashing over her legs and the wall.
She doesn’t answer. My mind is spinning, trying to figure this out. Ash and Shona? That can’t be right.
But it has to be. We followed her here. She called herself Mummy when she spoke to Millie, to my daughter. My initial relief that we’ve been found and my surprise that Shona is here turns to a cold hard fury.
‘You evil bitch, Shona.’ I take a slow step towards her.
She backs away, but it takes only moments for her to regain her composure, and she stands straight, a sneer of contempt distorting her face.
‘I’ve got a guy outside with a gun. One shout from me, and he’ll be here in seconds. You’ve lost, Jo.’
‘Who are you?’ I ask, ignoring her threats. Fury, disgust and hatred churn in my gut. ‘Why are you doing this?’ How could I have been so wrong about her? I invited her into my home, made her welcome. I thought she was my friend.
She flashes a cold smile at me. ‘You think you have it all, don’t you? The good-looking, clever man, the sweet-natured child. But you don’t deserve it. Any of it. And I’m taking it all away from you. I’m claiming your life, Jo, because I’m more worthy of it than you.’
I’m still advancing towards her, but I’m conscious of Millie standing in the doorway behind me. I’ve never felt compelled to be violent before, but much as I would dearly love to pin Shona to the wall by her throat, my daughter is watching. I stop, and Shona thinks she’s won. I can see it in her eyes, the scorn dripping from her tongue as she speaks.
‘Ash loves me, but when he told me he couldn’t leave you, I had to get to know you, to understand you, to see what was binding him to you. So I joined your pathetic little theatre group, met your screwed-up friends, and I watched you as I waited for my moment. Day after day I was right behind you, but you didn’t even know I was there. You didn’t see me – you saw only your flawless world.’
I had been right all along. Someone was following me. I had felt her eyes on my back but never seen her.
She takes another step back. ‘You have everything – a home you treat with contempt, a wonderful man who you refuse to marry, and a child Ash doesn’t believe he can live without. Yet you have no right to any of it. I can give him everything he’s ever wanted. Except Millie.’ She’s still backing away, one claw-like hand outstretched to the wall as she feels along it. But my eyes are glued to hers. ‘So I took her. I took it all. I’m her mummy now.’
I take another step towards her, the blood pounding in my ears. ‘You took my child,’ I hiss.
She smiles. ‘Yes, and now she’s mine. They both are.’ Her head shoots forward, triumph in her eyes. ‘And you, Jo? You’re dead.’
She lifts her hand and bangs it against the wall, and suddenly I know what she was reaching for. A panic button.
I hear a shout from below. Feet thunder on the bare wooden treads of the stairs.
She’s right. I’ve lost.
87
‘Mummy!’
Millie’s voice breaks through my momentary trance, and I spin round. She’s still standing in the doorway and I race towards her, scooping her up under one arm as I run back into the bedroom, slamming the door, turning the key behind me.
I know it’s only a temporary reprieve.
The door’s solid, the lock a good one, but the man I saw outside earlier will be able to break it down.
‘Help me, Millie,’ I shout as I race to the far end of the room. Dragging the bed away from the wall. I squeeze behind it and push with all my might, Millie by my side.
I can hear shouting, but I block out the words; I only have seconds left to barricade us in. I know what Shona’s saying: she’s telling the guard to kill me.
With one final shove, the bed is rammed hard against the door. And I hear the first thud as the man flings his body against the wood.
Millie is crying, and I can feel her terror. She gives a little scream as the door shakes under the man’s weight for the second time.
I bend to give Millie a tight squeeze. ‘Listen, sweetheart. I’m going to get us out of here. I love you, but right now I have to stand on that table and see if we can get out of the window. Okay?’
She clings to me for a moment, but then I hear a shaky whisper. ‘Okay, Mummy.’
With one last squeeze I let her go and drag the bedside table under the skylight. I climb onto it and push open the window.
I can see that the roof slopes down to just above the ground-floor windows on this side of the barn. I have absolutely no idea how I will get Millie out of here and down the roof. A thick frost is forming, and unless I can tie her in some way, she will slide down and fall to the ground below.
Maybe I could lower her from the window tied to a sheet, and throw out the pillows and duvet to give her a soft landing.
As I stare out into the night, trying to think, something moves in the field beyond the drystone wall that borders the garden.
The sky temporarily lightens, and I realise the field is full of sheep, calmly munching the grass. It looks so tranquil, so at odds with what’s happening inside the house.
Filled with determination to get us into that field and beyond the far wall to a place of safety, I jump down from the table and rip a sheet from the bed, climbing back up to dangle it from the window. It’s far too short.