My father clears his throat, jarring me from my thoughts—a not-so-subtle push to get on with it.
With haste, I rip the paper off to find an Amazon box layered in clear packing tape. I fight with it for a minute before retrieving the pocketknife attached to my keychain and cutting the box open. Packing peanuts tumble over the top onto the floor as I reach to the bottom. My hands wrap around a curved bottle, and I’m hella confused. “Did you buy me shampoo?” I ask before lifting the mystery gift from the box.
“Nope.” She flutters her lashes and sends me an innocent smile—one that lets me know she’s definitely up to something.
“Swear to God, you are the most infuriating woman…” I trail off when I retrieve a jumbo-sized bottle of Summer’s Eve. “This wrapping paper had nothing to do with Paco’s Tacos, did it?” I throw a wadded-up ball of it at her face.
She presses her lips into a line with her teeth and shakes her head, trying to suppress a laugh.
Chance and Hannah burst into hysterics, both having heard about the could-have-happened-to-anyone mishap, while our parents stare at us like we’ve lost our damn marbles.
“Isn’t that a…umm… a girly wash?” Pops asks with his eyes narrowed.
Oh come on! How the heck’s he even know that?
“It is…” Nya smiles sweetly at my father. “Liam liked mine so much, he used the entire bottle. Figured I’d get him his own.”
I feel my cheeks flush. “Damn bottle says five in one. I thought it was a normal bath wash. You know, the ones that you can use for hair and body and bubble bath?”
“Can you think of anything more appropriate?” Chance sputters. “A p-u-s-s-y wash for a p-u-s-s-y.”
Ellie’s jaw drops. “Uncle Chance! You know I can spell, right?”
The moms shoot him scathing looks while us guys have a good laugh.
“So, do you like your gift?” Nya finally asks when everyone’s calmed down.
“Ya done good, darlin’.” Her sense of humor is one of her biggest draws. Sarcasm has always been our love language. It actually really turns me on when she finds a way to best me.
“Open your present now, Mom!” Ellie runs over to the tree to retrieve the last box.
“Okay. Okay! What is it?” Nya shakes the package near her ear.
“Just open it.” Our daughter is more excited about giving her mother this gift than opening her own. We’ve spent the last few weeks plotting it all out together.
Excitement bubbles in my stomach as she fingers the paper. She takes her time peeling off the tape and carefully unfolding the wrapping. It’s not like she’ll ever reuse it. Why can’t this woman be like everyone else and just rip the damn thing open?
“You didn’t!” My wife leaps up out of her seat like she’s just sat on a tack, waving our itinerary in the air. “Is this for real?”
“It is.” The sight of her running in circles around the living room through mountains of wrapping paper, screeching like she’s just won the damn lottery, is one I’ll never forget.
“Bora Bora?”
I nod, smiling a big dopey smile at her enthusiasm. “I hope it’s still your dream honeymoon, because we leave in a week.”
She hops up on the coffee table, does a little shimmy, then throws herself into my lap, wrapping her arms round my neck and spreading kisses all over my face. “I can’t believe you remembered…”
“I remember everything.”
Nya
Laid in paradise
Pictures could never do this place justice. I’m pretty sure my mouth has been hanging open since the islands became visible from the air. This entire experience has already been like something out of a fairy tale, and we’ve only just checked in.
Upon stepping off the plane, we got lei’d by a beautiful island girl. Get your mind out of the gutter! There’s nothing quite like being adorned with tropical flowers by a local to really make it sink in that you’re officially in paradise. As we proceeded through the lobby, the sound of native music got my blood pumping and my hips swaying. Liam and I were handed complimentary fruity drinks by the airport staff. I’m not sure what that little slice of heaven was other than delicious, even if I was only able to get through half of mine before the hours of travel caught up to my tummy. Liam was more than happy to finish mine off, so don’t fret. No alcohol abuse here. We followed the small crowd out to the dock where our resort, Aqua Cay, had a boat waiting to transport us to our home for the next week.
I’ve never before seen water so clear. The colorful fish and stingrays made the twenty-minute boat ride feel more like an excursion than simply a means to reach to our little bungalow over the water.
“Babe! Come here. You’ve gotta see this shit.”
Reluctantly, I tear myself away from our private deck and the plunge pool—that I can’t wait to hop in—to see what has him so excited.
When I step inside, I find my husband crouched in front of a rectangular hole in the floor of the living area. He’s a wet dream come to life, dressed in his khaki cargo shorts and a tropical print button down. His feet are damn sexy too, adorned in leather flip flops. Add to that his straw hat, and I’m seconds away throwing my panties at him. Who knew the tourist look could be so hot? Then again, my husband could make just about anything look good.
My tongue darts out to lick my lips. I’m ready to tackle him before the fact that there is a massive hole in the floor of our hut registers. “What the heck? You broke the place already?”
“It’s the coffee table…” His finger moves in a come-hither motion, and butterflies swarm in my tummy. “Opens up so you can feed the fish. Come have a look.”
I kneel beside my husband in awe of the beautiful orange, green, and blue fish presently attacking the pellets of food he just dropped. “This is amazing!” My eyes are fixed on a long, skinny fish. He sort of looks like a snake but with fins.
“Sure is,” he rasps.
When I turn, I find him staring at my profile. “Can you believe we’re finally here after all these years?”
The first time we got married, we were college students who could barely afford ramen and gas for our cars. A trip like this was nothing but a dream, but it was our dream.
“I hate that I can’t take you on the honeymoon you deserve.”
I glance up at his gorgeous face from where my head is positioned on his lap, studying my note cards. “You’re all I need.” I reach to his cheek, scrubbing my thumb back and forth over his stubble. “Besides, we’d have just spent the time in a more expensive bed, fucking ourselves into oblivion.” I laugh. “Would’ve been a complete waste of money.”
“Maybe.” He strokes his long fingers through my hair, deep in thought. “If you could go anywhere, have any honeymoon your little heart desired, where would you want to go?”
A picture of aqua water and floating huts I saw on the travel channel comes to mind. “Hmm. If money wasn’t a factor, I’d love to go to Bora Bora someday and stay in one of those thatched houses on the water.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Mm-hmm. Blue water. White sand. Sex on the beach.”