I’m his favorite daughter. Why, I don’t know, but he and Sylvie have never gotten along. Like ginger dipped in sugar, Ma says, simultaneously delicious and explosive. Sylvie’s even allergic to fish and seafood, which has been a source of irritation to Pa through the years. When we were younger, he used to growl about how it was a waste for Ma to cook separate dishes for Sylvie, as if it were Sylvie’s fault that she broke out in hives after eating shrimp. He seemed to believe that Sylvie was allergic because she thought she was too good for his food, and thus too good for him too. Now he looks up, sees me watching him, and smiles, unveiling his straight white teeth. That easing of the daily strain on his face makes him suddenly as handsome as a movie star. Pa used to pat me on the head when I was little and call me “my girl, my very own Amy.”
I exchange a glance with Ma, and then gently say, “Pa, we have bad news.”
He startles, sits upright. His English is a bit better than Ma’s. “What is this?”
“Sylvie’s missing.” The color in Pa’s skin drains away, turning it slowly to ash. I swallow hard and press on. After I tell him the whole story, carefully omitting the part about Sylvie’s problems with Jim, he hides his eyes with his hand until he finally pronounces, “Jim is her husband. He must act now. It is his duty.”
“I spoke with him today.” I decide to lie. “He’s too busy at work. He can’t get away to do anything and he thinks she’s just taking some time.” I’m a terrible liar. “For her career.” Anything to do with work is sacred as far as Ma and Pa are concerned.
Pa nods. “Jim knows best. We can do nothing anyway.”
I don’t have Pa’s faith in Jim. I say hesitantly, “Should one of us go to Holland?” Who? Me? I am terrified at the idea of traveling to another country. I don’t even like the thought of going to New Jersey. Ma? She can’t speak English. And Pa could never leave—he’s needed at his job, anyway. The image of Ma and Pa on an airplane is incongruous. They can hardly navigate this country. How would they ever manage abroad?
“No,” he says, anger filling each word. “Too dangerous and what you can do there anyway? You just little girl. Cousin Helena and her family know what to do.”
I have to bite back a retort at that. Ma doesn’t speak up. She never does. Whenever Pa is drunk and angry, she only becomes quieter. I suppose I’ve learned my silence from her. Their marriage, like many others of their generation, was arranged because their families knew each other. Pa often feels to me like he’s holding his breath, filled with frustration and rage at some wrong that’s been done to him in the past. Sometimes I spot a look that might be longing on his face but then I blink and it’s gone, as if it had never existed.
There were nights when I was little when they’d fight and Sylvie and I would clutch at each other in our room, hiding behind the walls that were too thin to muffle any sound. My memories begin a few years after Sylvie was brought home to Queens to live. I was about four years old. I couldn’t understand the Chinese words Pa called Ma then, but Sylvie’s cheeks would glow bright red. It often happened after he’d been drinking rice wine, and the next day, it’d be life as usual.
Sylvie confronted him once. I tried to stop her, clutching at her sleeve, but she marched down the hall and pounded on their door.
When Ma opened it, Sylvie said, “You waking Amy.”
Ma was horrified, more so than Pa, and quickly bundled Sylvie out and back to our room.
“You must never do that again.” Ma was a pale ghost standing in our doorway. “Never, never. Promise!” And we did, though we didn’t know if she was afraid for us or for herself.
“We have to do something,” I say to them now. But as I look around the room, I realize that none of us have any idea what our next move should be. Sylvie was the one we always called for help. There’s no one else, no one except me.
Telephone Call
Tuesday, May 3
Bethany: Hello, Bethany Jones speaking. How may I help you?
Amy: Bethany, this is Amy.
Bethany: What a surprise. What can I do for you?
Amy: I’m calling about Sylvie. [Voice breaks] She’s disappeared. No one knows where she is.
Bethany: What? I’m so sorry. Is there anything we can do?
Amy: Well, I would really like the contact information for that consultancy project she’s doing in the Netherlands.
Bethany: I’m a bit confused.
Amy: Your company sent her there, right? Maybe she’s left a message or something. I don’t know how to get in touch with them.
Bethany: . . . I’m afraid Sylvie doesn’t work here anymore. She left more than a month ago, at the end of March.
Amy: What? B-but she never said anything . . . Are you sure? Why did she leave?
Bethany: I truly apologize but I’m not permitted to disclose that information. She’s probably been sent there via a new employer and this is just some sort of mix-up.
Amy: I’m scared something’s happened to her. [Chokes back a sob] I can’t believe she didn’t tell me she left your company.
Bethany: I wish I could do more for you. But don’t worry, Sylvie is extremely competent. She doesn’t need anyone’s pity.
Amy: Why would I pity her? Was she fired?
Bethany: Well, we don’t let anyone go here. People sometimes are encouraged to explore new horizons—that’s all. Of course, it’s not up to me to say what’s fair or unfair. When you reach your sister, I’m sure she’ll tell you all about it.
Tuesday, May 3
Amy Lee
Everyone, sorry to bother you but has anyone heard from my sister Sylvie in the past week or so? Do you know anything about a possible new job of hers by any chance? It’s really important. Thanks.
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Don McConnell
Nope, but isn’t she abroad? She’s probably just caught up with her work.
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Katie Che
Sorry, haven’t heard from her. But she doesn’t tend to write much. Probably just a time difference thing. Don’t know anything about a new job. Hey, when are we getting together for a drink? Been too long. Noah says hi, by the way.
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Etienne Sarski
She went to Denmark or Finland or something, right? Always get confused with those foreign places. I’m up for a drink, can I come?
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Amy Lee
She went to the Netherlands. Has anyone heard anything? Min Ho Chung? Fred Gap? Judith van Es? Michelle Silva? Please tag anyone else you think might have heard from her. We’re getting pretty worried.
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Amy Lee
Hello? Has anyone heard anything from her?
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Amy Lee
Hello?
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Telephone Call