Ellery pulls away from me with a small smile, swiping the back of her palm against her wet cheeks. Her dark lashes are spiky with tears. “Seriously? That’s it? That’s all you’ve got?”
“No. I have an ace in the hole I’ve been saving to cheer you up.” Her brows rise, and I pause for dramatic effect. “Would you like to visit a clown museum with me?”
She starts to laugh. “What, now? In the middle of a party?”
“Can you think of a better time?”
“After the party?” Ellery suggests.
“It’s right down the street. We could be there and back in half an hour. Forty-five minutes, tops. There’s free popcorn, and dogs. And clowns, obviously.”
“It does sound tempting.”
“Then let’s go.” I link my fingers through hers and we start for the driveway. “You’re going to have to drive, though. I’ve had almost half a bottle of beer.”
“You rebel.” She smiles at me. “But you did say living, after all.”
I squeeze her hand and bend my head toward hers. “I’m working on it.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
Ellery
Saturday, October 26
Malcolm’s hand feels warm and solid in mine. Leaves swirl around us like oversized confetti, and the sky is a bright, brilliant blue. It’s a beautiful day, the kind that makes you think maybe everything will be okay after all.
Despite all the trauma of the past two weeks, good things have happened, too. While Sadie was in town, she and Nana talked—really talked. They still don’t understand one another much, but it finally felt like they both want to try. Since she’s been back at Hamilton House, Sadie hasn’t made a single random phone call.
It’s only been eight days, but still. Baby steps.
Nana and Sadie agreed that Ezra and I should finish our senior year at Echo Ridge High, even if Sadie gets a clean bill of health in January. Which is all right by me. I’m making my bedroom a little homier; I bought some framed prints at an art fair last weekend, and put up pictures of Ezra and me with Mia and Malcolm. Plus I have the SATs to take, colleges to visit, half siblings to get to know, and, maybe, more dates with Malcolm.
I almost told him, just now. I wanted to.
But once I say it, I can’t take it back. And even though I spent almost six weeks trying to unravel the lies in Echo Ridge, all I’ve been able to think about since that day in the Nilssons’ basement is that some secrets shouldn’t be told.
It nearly killed Sadie to believe she’d abandoned her twin on the night Sarah disappeared. There’s no way she’d be able to handle this. It’s hard enough for me, with no regrets or guilt weighing me down, to watch my brother smile and joke at a party and to know the truth.
We’re not supposed to be here.
I grip Malcolm’s hand tighter to ward off the chill that runs down my spine every time I remember Peter’s voice hissing in my ear, so faint I almost missed it. I wish I had, because I’ll spend the rest of my life hoping he never repeats the words he thought I’d take to my grave.
I thought she was your mother.