She stands and heads toward the door, but I beat her there to stop her.
“Adrian,” she says as though she’s warning me.
“No, Sierra, admit it.”
“What?”
“Admit how scared you are. Admit how much you miss your mom. Admit whatever you want but hiding the wounds won’t make those feelings go away.”
She tries to slide around me, but I grip her arms and bring her back in front of me.
“I’m going to kick you in the nuts.”
“Fine, but you’re ruining your chance at having kids then.”
She pauses. “Will you stop saying things like that?”
“Like what?”
She steps back. “Like there’s a chance for us. Acting like you want me. You’re here for another month and then you’ll go back home. Stop trying to act like we could be together.”
I step toward her and she steps backward until her bum hits the dresser. “Maybe we could.”
Fuck. What am I saying?
Stop talking. You know you can’t make these promises.
My hands grip her waist. “But first I want you to be real with me.”
She turns away like an indignant child, purposely avoiding eye contact. “And then you’ll stop this whole us being together bullshit?”
I nod, fully aware that I’m probably lying.
“I already told you. My mom died. My dad fell into a depression. Most of my teenage years I spent at friends’ houses. Now he’s packed her up in boxes like she’s an old sweater he doesn’t want anymore.” She looks me square in the eye, no sign of tears, her back ramrod-straight.
“Those are facts,” I say. She places both hands on my chest and pushes me, but I grip her wrists in my hands. “Tell me how you feel.”
“There’s nothin—”
“Just tell me,” I persist.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She wiggles and I release my grip, wanting her to be willing to open up and let me in.
“Tell me. You can trust me.”
She stops fighting to get away and closes her eyes with a ragged sigh. “I miss her. I’m scared every day that I’m forgetting her. Every day after her death when I’d walk into this house, I felt her. Like she could be in the kitchen waiting for me. Or in the basement packing up her gear. She used to be here, and last night I didn’t feel her anymore.” A tear runs down her cheek. “He packed her up and now she’s really gone.”
I pull her into my arms as tightly as I can, holding her head in the crook of my neck. She sobs, her back vibrating as tears coat my skin.
“I wish I could take this pain from you,” I whisper, meaning my words right down to my soul.
I care for her. More than a friendship. I thought it was just sexual, that we could sleep together and say goodbye to one another in five weeks, which is why I keep bringing up the friend zone she’s so aptly assigned me to. I’d leave and marry Princess Adelaide like my parents want and she’d find some guy that who’d give her a happy life.
Right now, I want to take her pain so that it spares her. So I can see that smile that spurs my own. I want her to joke around with me, so I have an excuse to tickle her, because her squirming in my arms is better than not being able to touch her.
The weight of her body falls deeper into my own.
“Hey,” I whisper, brushing her hair out of her face.
She draws back, not apologizing for breaking down and not trying to free herself from my arms. Have I finally gotten her to admit to herself that she’s hurting?
“I promise everything will be okay.”
A small smile creases her lips. “I’m not your responsibility but thank you for staying last night.”
Her vulnerability feels like a nail piercing my heart.
“You are,” I say.
Confusion fills her eyes.
“I know things with us are complicated and right now is a shitty time for me to tell you this, but I really like you.”
“What?” Her head jerks back.
“I like you, Sierra Sanders, and I want you to be my responsibility. Not in some caveman alpha male way. But I want the responsibility of making your day a little brighter, making you laugh on the bad days and holding you on the horrible ones. I want the responsibility of feeding you when you’re sick and planning celebrations for milestones in our lives. I want to be responsible for making you smile, laugh, feel safe, feel secure, and of course, I want the sole responsibility for your orgasms.”
She laughs, and her head falls to my chest. “But there’s so much against this, against us.”
I place my finger on her chin and bring it up so she’s looking at me, as I have so many times before, but my heart grips tight, waiting for her response more than any other time before. “We’ll figure it out but answer this question. Do you like me?”
I’ve never in my life asked a woman that question. Not even when I was in middle school. Nor have I ever held my breath, waiting for the answer.
Her smile is promising, but I want the words. “But…”
I put my finger over her lips. “It’s a yes or no question.”
Her eyes lock with mine and my answer is there before she verbalizes it. “Yes.”
My hand runs up her back until my fingers are weaved through her vibrant hair, and I lean down, pressing my lips to hers. A kiss has never been such a perfect mix of sweet and hot.
Chapter Nineteen
Sierra
Adrian’s lips meet mine and our kiss is a stark difference from the first time weeks ago, when he stole my breath with a kiss. Then it was filled with lust and urgency. This time, his lips almost skim over mine at first, as if he wants to double-check that I’m in this.
And I am.
All the worries of how we’ll make this work still scare me, but the feeling of waking up in his arms this morning and his overwhelming concern for my well-being have me answering yes.
The scariest part is that my feelings for him transcend way beyond what drew me to him in the first place. The fact that he’s a prince doesn’t matter. In reality, it only makes things between us more difficult.
His tongue slowly licks the seam of my lips and I open my mouth, my hands reaching up around his neck, running over the now-short hairs. I’m half able to realize we’re moving, but it isn’t until the backs of my legs hit the bed that I recognize that he’s moved us over to the bed. He lowers my body down, his lips leaving mine briefly until he slides his body on mine. His lips find mine once more and our hands run over each other’s clothes.
My head spins. This is really happening. Adrian and me.
I let all the worries of tomorrow drift away so I can be present in this moment. Him and me basking in the wondrous state of electric attraction that runs between us.
“I’ve never wanted anyone more,” he whispers, his thigh sliding between my legs.
I lose myself for a moment, the sensation of his weight on me overwhelming my body. When I open my legs, his hips fall between them and his arms fall down on each side of my head, lips crashing to lips. He grinds into my center and I raise my legs, not wanting the feeling to stop. I grip him to my body, and we dry hump until I can’t take it any longer.