“What?”
“I asked who he is.”
“What does it matter? You probably don’t even know him anyway. He owns a winery in Tuscany and has a shipping business. He makes an honest living, so I doubt you have any idea who he is.” I was making this up on the spot, and I was surprised I could keep going.
Hades didn’t like that answer. “So, you pick up guys at bars and then meet this guy?”
“How’s that any different from what you do?”
He turned silent because he had no rebuttal.
I tried to move around him.
His arm slid around my waist, and he positioned me in front of him again.
This touch was different from the others. This time, it was gentle rather than aggressive, and he wanted to get me close versus stopping me from leaving. His arm formed a leash around my waist, and he kept me close to his body so we were practically one person.
My heart was beating so fast, I was afraid he could hear it. The sizzling energy was between us again, possession, jealousy… It all radiated from him. I tried to control my breathing, but it was chaotic. I didn’t want to go home and sleep alone. When I left Andrew here, it made me cry because I wished I were with them both. There was nowhere else in the world I’d rather be than right here. I wanted him to ask me to stay. I wanted him to snap out of this weird trance and be the man I remembered.
He looked into my eyes as he spoke. “Stay.”
My heart was about to burst out of my chest. “What?”
“Stay with us.”
I couldn’t feel my legs or my fingertips anymore.
“Andrew deserves to have both of us in the same room together. We’re still a family.”
I wondered if this was a ploy so I wouldn’t see my fake boyfriend. Or maybe it really was a heartfelt request. But either way, there was nowhere else in the world I would rather be. And it made me so happy that he wanted me to stay. “I already have plans…”
“What’s more important? Some guy or your baby?”
I still wasn’t sure if he was just using this as an excuse to keep me away from the imaginary guy, but he gave me a good excuse to get out of it so it wouldn’t seem like I’d caved. “Let me call him…”
We had dinner together just the way we used to. Helena’s home cooking was exactly the same…warm and delicious. I had only been in his bedroom one other time since our split, and I hadn’t really had the opportunity to examine the details of the room.
Now I noticed the bed was different, the frame made out of a different kind of wood, and the sheets had been changed. His watch no longer sat on the nightstand, and a few other things were out of place. The room didn’t feel as warm as it used to. It was sterile and dry.
The entire time we were together, I was nervous and tense. I kept hoping something would happen, and I had to remind myself to behave like he didn’t matter to me. That required me to look at Andrew instead of him, to make conversation about subjects I didn’t care about like the weather, politics, and other nonsense.
We sat together on the couch with the TV on. There was a cartoon show on the screen, and Andrew liked to look at the colors and characters. He lay against Hades’s chest so he could see the TV easily. He was in a blue onesie, his eyes wide open with interest.
Hades never looked sexier than he did right now. Lying back with our baby on his chest, his arms wrapped around Andrew’s legs so he wouldn’t move. He was a protector, a father, but he didn’t have a dad bod at all.
I wanted to cry because I wished this was my life.
I wished we were married again and watching TV on the couch was something we did every night.
I slipped off my pumps and pulled my legs closer to my body as I stared at the two of them.
Hades didn’t make a move to sleep with me; he didn’t ask me any more questions about the guy I was supposedly seeing. Now that he’d gotten me to stay, he didn’t chase me anymore. I wasn’t sure what would happen next, if he would ask me to leave once Andrew was asleep.
But I could just go to my “boyfriend’s” house then…
Thirty minutes later, Andrew couldn’t keep his eyes open. He was so fascinated by the show that he wanted to keep fighting his fatigue, but he was just a little baby so the fight didn’t last long. His eyes finally closed and stayed closed.
I stared at him for a long time, so happy he was in my life. He was an unplanned surprise, but when he got here, he just fit. He brought me more joy than anything else ever had. “He’s so cute…”
Hades looked down so he could see our son’s face. “He always tries to stay up late like his dad, but he never wins.”
I wanted to pull out my phone and take a picture of the two of them, but I thought that would ruin the moment.
Hades placed his hand over Andrew’s stomach and held him in place while his other arm moved over the back of the couch. He turned his gaze on me and stared at me for a while. He didn’t have a stern expression anymore. Now, it was slightly soft, his lips relaxed and his eyes warm.
I felt like I was back in time.
“I should put him to bed.” He rose to his feet and carried our son with one arm.
“Does he sleep with you?” I slipped on my heels and followed him.
“No. He has a crib in the other room.”
I always had Andrew sleep with me, so I was surprised he didn’t scream when he was left alone.
We entered the room next door, which was painted gray and blue. There was a crib in the middle of the room, along with a changing table and other supplies. Whales were painted on the wall.
Hades gently set him in the crib where his stuffed animals were tucked in each corner. Hades quickly swaddled Andrew, keeping him safe in a cocoon. Hades straightened and gripped the rail as he looked down at our son.
“This room is so nice.” I hadn’t expected Hades to do something so thoughtful. I assumed he would just have Andrew stay with him during his short visits. If I were living here, we would’ve designed this room together. It wasn’t what I would have done myself, but I wouldn’t change anything in any way.
Hades turned toward me while he continued to grip the crib. “All Helena.”
I nodded. “I figured.” I came to the edge of the crib and looked at Andrew, who was the most handsome baby in the world. “I regret a lot of things…”
Hades turned his head toward me.
“But I don’t regret anything that led me to him.” My heart immediately slowed with peace as I looked at the little boy without a care in the world. “Even if we marry other people and have other children, I still wouldn’t change anything. He’s the single most important thing in my life. I wasn’t ready to have children, but when Andrew arrived…I was ready.”
Hades’s hands loosened on the rails, and he rested his elbows on the surface instead. His thoughts were a mystery as we stood together in the dark room, only Andrew’s night-light for illumination. Hades’s warm expression reminded me of the man he used to be, the man who wasn’t afraid to wear his heart on his sleeve. He’d disappeared overnight…but there were still pieces that remained behind. “You’re a great mother.”
I couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across my lips. “Thank you. You’re a good father.”