“What kind of guy does your team usually see you with?”
“The kind I can Top. I figure it’s probably a phase, but it felt important. Balance.” She sighed. “Okay, no idea why I’m sharing, but here goes. My uncle traded me to the owls while he was still King. When Sophia came into power, she negotiated for my freedom, but I didn’t want it. I mean, I appreciated some of the autonomy that gave me, but belonging to the owls was...” She shrugged. “I’d always wanted to have a grand adventure. I was close to several owls. One especially. I thought I loved him. I didn’t want to leave, but then...”
I smelled grief. Not just sadness, but the kind of heartbreaking sorrow that makes people sink into dark places they don’t always recover from. I wanted to pull her into my arms, but that was ridiculous. Wasn’t it?
She took a deep breath, blew it out, and kept going. “The owls I was close to were killed in the fighting.”
I could only nod. In Birmingham, the bad guys had kicked our asses. More good guys died than lived. “We lost most of our club. Still haven’t recovered. I’m so sorry you lost people important to you.”
She nodded and turned away a little, so I couldn’t see her face. “We all lost people. I know. I’d been taking classes at UA, but I needed a change. Too many memories down south. Aaron and Sophia moved me here because finishing my degree within the same university system means I don’t have to retake any classes, and moving to Chattanooga would’ve put me behind on my degree. I’m closer to them here, and we have roller derby, so...” another shrug.
“And you went from owned to owner? Is that it?”
“When Sophia negotiated on my behalf, I asked her to change my title from slave to toy. It worked for me, but when I moved, it felt like I needed to find a balance. Strap-ons and shit. I’ve bought floggers and paddles and whips and all kinds of fun little CBT tools. It’s been completely different, and I’ve needed it.”
“Because the little bottom-boys were fun, but playing with them let you stay emotionally distant?”
Her face jerked up, her eyes widened in surprise. “How could you know that?”
I shrugged. “Experience. You went from toy to dominant. You seem to be interested in me, which means your submissive side is still there. The question is, will you accept your inner submissive or push her down? You don’t have to go all the way back to toy. There are plenty of options in between.”
She looked out the window, her eyes unfocused. I didn’t interrupt her thoughts. Finally, she shrugged. “I want to be my own person, so the toy thing won’t really work for me anymore. It made me happy, but with Able dead, I need to find my own way in this world.”
Able. Alabaster. The Owl King. More royalty. There was no way I stood a snowball’s chance in hell with this woman, but I couldn’t help myself. She called to my soul.
“How old are you?”
“Twenty five. You?”
“Got you beat by five years. Do you have a cool roller derby name?”
Chapter Two
Ember
If Aaron puts someone in my house, they need protection. They need a safe haven. A calm port in a scary storm. My job is to make them feel welcome and sheltered. Secure. Mac will have told them the upstairs is my personal space, the main floor is the public space, and the underground rooms would be Tess’s personal space. No need for me to reiterate that. The smell of baking cookies would make the place smell more like a home. Plus, I like feeding people.
I wasn’t sure what to think of this huge mountain of a man who smelled of bear. I’d never had sex with a bear. Swans, all kinds of cats, wolves, eagles, and of course owls since I’d been given to them. Also, vampires.
But no bears.
He’d asked a question, but he’d just met me so I needed to explain before I answered. “Coming up with your derby name is a big deal. It’s best if it’s some kind of pun, but it still needs to scream that you’re a badass. I mean, you can be a glittery badass if that’s your thing — girly is fine, but nothing weak. Also, people will call you part of that name. So, I thought of FireFlightHer because I’m a swan named Ember, but humans don’t know I’m a swan, so no one would understand the flying part. Plus, what would people call me? Fire? Flight? No. Also, I didn’t want to be called something different, so I needed something with Ember in it.”
He leaned against the counter and smirked. “You gonna tell me your name?”
I rolled my eyes. “Ember Waves of Pain.”
His smile told me he enjoyed the pun.
I assumed Dementor was a nickname, but it seemed to fit him. He’s scary looking, but he doesn’t scare me. Have you ever seen one of those dogs who are so ugly, they’re cute? Maybe it sounds mean, but that’s the first thing I thought of when I saw this man. He’s huge, and his nose isn’t quite right, and his eyes don’t seem to be lined up exactly right, or maybe they are and his forehead is off. It’s hard to tell.
And yet, his scent and posture and body language made me see something besides the misshapen face.
But when he heard my derby name, I saw him truly smile. Looking back, it’s possible I started falling in love with him in that moment. His smile lit his face. He didn’t roll his eyes at the corny, silly name. He laughed. He totally got it.
I’d moved the cookies off the pans and onto cooling racks while he loaded the oven with the other pans, and now I was reloading cookie dough onto the first set of pans after giving them a few moments to cool. I lifted a cookie from a cooling rack and held it to his lips.
For a second, I worried he wouldn’t let me feed him, but he opened and took a bite, making sure his lips closed over my fingers when he bit down.
“Mmmmm. Those are damned good cookies. I didn’t see any secret ingredients. What gives?”
“Half milk chocolate, half dark chocolate chips. Raw, unbleached sugar. Butter sourced locally from happy cows.”
Humans usually laugh when I say food from happy cows tastes better, but other shapeshifters know I’m right. It boggles the mind that people can’t understand a cow who’s miserable will make less than optimum milk, while a healthy, happy cow will make sweet, healthy, nourishing milk.
“Mac took Tess downstairs. I’ll put some on a plate and run them down.”
And he was thoughtful?
I shook my head. “Dumbwaiter’s to the right of the stove. Mac will know food’s on the way when it starts working. We don’t have to tell them.”
“How often does Aaron put people here?”
I shrugged and changed the subject, since I didn’t think Aaron wanted me to share that information. “What do you do for the MC?” I asked as I took the final six trays out of the oven and moved them to the cooling rack.
“Bouncer. Usually at Blaze, sometimes for the restaurant, occasionally at the spa.”
Blaze wasn’t that far from the University, so I knew it was a stripper bar. I skipped over that and asked, “The spa needs a bouncer?”
“We keep our people safe.” He touched my chin. “I’m thinking we eat the cookies a little later. Where’s your bedroom?”