“Shut up. I’m not even contagious.”
I squint at him. “Yes, you are. Go to your room.”
He’s ready for the fight, but Mom stops him. “Journey, please. Go on. You need to lie down anyway.”
He glares at me. “You don’t even live here.”
I stick out my tongue at him. “But I’m still welcome.”
He scoffs. “By them, not me.”
I laugh. “Whatever. You love me, J.”
His look says otherwise, but he goes back to his room with laptop in tow. I grab a Lysol wipe and wipe the area he occupied before sitting down. My mom brings me a sandwich and a drink and then leans on the counter as I dig in. “You shouldn’t be so mean to him. When we’re gone, you’ll only have each other. Look how close Elli’s kids are.”
I give her a dry look. “We aren’t the Adler kids, Mom. And I love that guy, he’s just moody.”
“You know all about moody, huh?” I stick out my tongue at her this time, and she laughs as I take a bite of my sandwich. While I chew, she looks down at her phone. “Our presence has been requested for the dress fitting Saturday. You’ll be there?”
I groan loudly. “Yes, but I know Shelli only wants us there so we can gush over her since Posey can’t be there.”
My mom grins. “You’ll see when you’re the bride.”
I make a face, wrinkling my nose. “According to Asher, I’ll be a bride three times.”
She laughs. “I love that boy. How is he? Is he happy to be home?”
I shrug. “I think so, but you know his sisters drive him crazy.”
“Yeah, but he needs to be home. I know Fallon and Lucas are happy he’s back,” she says, speaking of his parents. “It’s hard when your baby isn’t home.”
“Yeah, I guess. I think he’s going to try to get Aiden’s condo, which will probably be good. Asher needs out. He does better alone. Then he has that interview with Elli and Shelli on Friday. We all know she’ll hire him.”
“Yes, of course. I think Elli still feels bad about not re-signing Lucas, which ultimately led him to retire.”
“I forgot about that,” I say with wide eyes. “Yeah, Asher could suck at jumbotron maintenance, and she’d still hire him.”
Mom laughs. “Exactly.”
“But we all know he is amazing and will do awesome things for the Assassins organization.”
“Yes, we do know this. You more so than anyone,” she says in a teasing tone. “Have you told him you love him yet?”
I almost choke on my sandwich as I whip my head around to make sure neither my dad nor Journey are near. “Mom!” I shriek, and she laughs like it’s hysterical that she almost gave me a heart attack.
I think I was drunk when I admitted my feelings for Asher.
It was when he left to go to college in California. I was so sad and got wine drunk with her. She made a joke that maybe I should have gone with him, and then I word-vomited all over her. I professed my love for him that night, and she is just waiting for me to come clean to him. She loves Asher, thinks he is the best dude ever. And since I have a tendency to date idiots, she wants me with someone good. Asher’s that guy, but I know he has no interest in me whatsoever. We’re just friends. I’ve been friend-zoned like no other, or I friend-zoned him. I’m not sure, but it’s understood he doesn’t like me like that.
“I’m just asking. I mean, he gets home, and the first thing he does is hang with you? I feel in my heart, he loves you too.”
I shake my head. “He doesn’t, Mom. I promise he doesn’t. Not that way. We’re basically siblings.” I lean forward on my elbows. “For example, he asked why people assume we’re together, and I spat out some of the facts I used for that paper I did. And he was like, well, I guess we’ll find each other attractive after we’re divorced nine times or whatever, and he never said he was ever attracted to me.”
Her brow perks. “What if he is hiding his feelings?”
I shake my head. “Mom, how he found out Jasmine was a lesbian was because she wanted to bring me in bed with them. He lost his shit and said he wouldn’t sleep with me. Pretty sure that means he isn’t attracted to me.”
A look of pure distress covers her face. “I’d rather not know that kind of stuff.”
I snort. “Then keep your thoughts to yourself.”
She doesn’t say anything for a moment, and I can see the wheels turning in her head. I know she loves Asher. But a part of me feels she only wants me to be with him because then I wouldn’t get with such idiots who break my heart or try to make me move away. She knows I’d be taken care of, and of course, I want that too. But for that to happen, Asher would have to show some kind of interest, and I don’t even know if I’d go for it then.
We have a great relationship. Do I really want to throw sex and jealousy in the mix? Well, there is already jealousy. I really hope Angie doesn’t approach him. I don’t even know why I told him about her. I’m so fucked up in the head.
“Plus, I’m having dinner with Taco this week. That will probably start up again.”
Her eyes widen, and I almost wish I’d told her I was pregnant instead. Why did I tell her about that? Am I that unwilling to discuss the fact that the guy I’ve loved for most of my adult life doesn’t want anything to do with me?
I think I am.
“I’m sorry, what did you say?”
I blink. “Nothing?” She gives me a dark look, and I crumble like a cookie. “I’m having dinner with Taco tomorrow.”
“Allison, please tell me you’re lying,” she says, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Just lie to me if you have to.”
“Yup, I’m lying.”
I should have known it wouldn’t be that easy. She drops her hand and glares at me. “I am flabbergasted that you want to see that person. He wanted nothing more than to ruin your life. You do realize this, right?”
I let my shoulders fall, chewing a bite of sandwich as I try to think of what to say. I probably should have kept talking about Asher. “Mom, it’s not that simple. I do care for him.”
“No, no, you do not. You want to try to get rid of your feelings for Asher. It’s so bad you choose dudes who don’t know their asses from their mouths, and they’re jackasses!”
I blink. “That’s very graphic, Mom.”
She shoots me a contemptuous look. “Allison, sweetheart, he doesn’t love you. He just wants to keep getting in your pants.”
I press my lips together. “And what’s wrong with that? It’s nice to be wanted.”
She looks so sad for me, and I feel pathetic. “You’re better than that, sweetheart. Even when I slept around, at least I did it with decent guys.”
We have a very open relationship. I know I can talk to her about anything, and I know her past. I set her with a look. “How can you be sure of that, though? You sometimes didn’t even get to know them.”
She shrugs. “Well, that could be true, but I can promise you they had jobs and didn’t go by stupid nicknames.”
I sigh. “I don’t know, Mom. He’s familiar.”