I kinda zone out, thinking about Eloise and her shitty parenting, until I hear Winter say, “You should take your girlfriend to the football.” He eyes me as he adds, “Some girls love it.”
“We’re not together anymore,” Maddox says.
That’s why he’s down.
I should have known it was because of a girl.
“Why?” I ask, unable to stop myself.
“She decided she wanted to get back with her ex.”
Oh, God. I feel for him. So much.
“I’m sorry, Maddox,” I say.
“Yeah, whatever. I’m better off without her if she’s gonna be like that.”
I know it’s his hurt talking. I know he doesn’t really mean “whatever”.
Winter looks at him in the rear-view mirror. “Mate, it’s okay to feel like shit when a girl does something like that.”
“Yeah,” Maddox says after a few moments. “It does feel like shit.”
What a day this is turning out to be.
My husband has come through for me in all the ways.
A boy I’ve known for barely a moment in time has stolen my heart. Again.
And I’ve experienced both sadness and joy in the space of a morning.
It turns out that sharing our hurt and pain, and not numbing it, has a way of bringing us together. It has a way of shining light where dark used to live.
41
Winter
* * *
I suck back some beer during the club barbecue and watch Birdie dance. I can’t recall the last time she danced. She used to dance all the time before IVF. Fuck, was the last time she danced that night with Max right before we started IVF? The night she pulled me up to dance to our song.
I leave my chair and make my way to the corner of the clubhouse bar where Memphis set up the music through Spotify. I search for the song I want and select it, ending the current song.
As soon as Darius Rucker’s voice filters through the speakers, Birdie searches the crowd until her eyes land on me. She smiles that sexy smile of hers that will always make me give her whatever she wants, and runs her fingers through her hair while she sways her hips.
Fuck. Me.
I cut through the crowd and join her. I can’t fucking stay away; the pull to her is too great.
“Do you know how good it is to see you dance and smile?” I say as I get my hands on her.
Her smile grows and she puts her hands around my neck. “It feels good.”
“Max told me once that he’d never met a woman more vibrant than you. I hate that IVF stole your vibrancy.”
That smile doesn’t leave her face. “You know, I think I’m finding it again.”
“Yeah, baby, you are, and it’s the best damn thing in the world to watch.”
“It still hurts every day, and I’m not sure if that will ever go away completely, but I’m learning there’s life out there after IVF.”
“You know what I’ve learned?”
Her eyes sparkle. “Tell me.”
“That eight years without a holiday is a long fucking time.”
“That is true. Maybe we should plan one.”
“How does Hawaii sound?”
“Ooh, you know I’ve always wanted to go there!”
So damn beautiful.
I kiss her, taking my time with it. “Buy a bikini. We leave in two weeks.”
Her eyes widen. “What? How? We can’t afford—”
I kiss her again. “We can’t afford not to take it, angel.”
“I’ve got work.”
“No, you don’t. Cleo’s sorted it.”
When she turns silent, I say, “Did I fucking finally find a way to stop all your questions?”
She threads her fingers through my hair. “Highly unlikely. Don’t you know I have thousands stored deep inside?”
I chuckle. “I don’t doubt it.”
“I think I have something I want to tell you,” she says softly.
I slide a loose piece of hair off her face and tuck it behind her ear. “What?”
She bites her lip. “I’m not saying we should do this now or anytime soon, but I’d like us to look into fostering.”
“I’d like that, too.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really. We knew this was always an option. I think it’s a good one.”
“I don’t know if I ever fully considered it. I think I always just assumed IVF would work eventually.”
“And now you’re considering it? Or you’ve already considered it?”
“Now I’m open to it. Maddox helped open me up.”
“Maddox?”
She smiles. “I think I’m more interested in fostering teens than younger children. Kids like Maddox need someone in their corner, and I think we would make really fucking good someones.” She pauses briefly. “And can we just discuss Maddox?”
“Okay.” She’s lit up and I fucking love it. At this point, I’d discuss anything she wanted.
“Why is he still living with that woman? She’s a drug addict, and she’s never home, and I’m sure she either has, or still does abuse him. Why aren’t we standing up for him and demanding something better for him?”
“I’m one step ahead of you, angel.”
“How?”
“I talked with Maddox yesterday while we were doing the gutters. I made it clear to him I don’t think that living with Eloise is the best option for him, and then I detailed alternative options I can help him with if he wants.”
She stops swaying. “And?”
“And he’s packing his bags today.”
“Oh my God, Winter Morrison, tell me already! Where’s he going?”
I kiss her again before giving her what she wants. “He’s coming to stay with us on a trial basis. If he likes it, he’ll stay. If not, I’ll help him find somewhere he does like. And while we’re overseas, he’ll stay at the clubhouse and the boys will look out for him.”
I don’t know what I expected from her when I told her this news, but it’s not what I get.
Her eyes tear up and she says, “You are the very best man in the world, and I’m so glad I chose you.” She kisses me through the tears streaming down her face, and when her lips leave mine, she whispers, “I will always choose you.”
“That’s a good fucking thing, Birdie Morrison, because I will always choose you, too.”
As we lay our hearts down for each other, I think back over everything we’ve been through. We’ve loved, we’ve raged, we’ve damn well battled. But at the end of every day, we found our way back to each other and fought for the only thing worth fighting for: our love.
We’re stronger.
Wilder.
Softer.
We’re built for eternity.