My hands buried into his dark hair, dragging him closer, kissing him harder. Tasting him, wanting him, needing him. Our bodies knew this dance. We’d performed it many, many times back in Madison. It was like remembered choreography, achingly familiar and full of passion.
Then, the world crashed back down on me.
I brought my hands down to his chest and pushed him back from me. Just an inch. Just enough to breathe.
“I can’t,” I gasped out. “I can’t. It’s not…it’s not fair.”
Sam dropped his head backward. A sigh escaped his lips, and he closed his eyes as if he was in pain. “Fuck.”
“Yeah,” I breathed.
Then he looked at me again. And there was something else there. “Claire and I broke up.”
I froze. “Excuse me? When…when did this happen?”
“You remember when I passed you in the elevator, going to Court’s place?”
My mind reeled before it caught up. “That was weeks ago!”
“I know.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I demanded. “Is this why you’ve been acting so strangely at work?”
“Yes. I wasn’t in a great place after it happened. She went on tour in Europe for twelve weeks and broke up with me the night before she left.”
“Fuck,” I said. “Harsh.”
“Yeah. And then…I don’t know. I didn’t…want you to be a rebound. And then it sounded insane and presumptuous in my head that you’d want to be with me. Then we were friends after Buns the other day. I didn’t want to ruin that or the event. So, I promised I’d tell you after the event.”
“Wait…that’s why you invited me to burgers?”
“Yeah. I was going to tell you. And then you were so happy and animated. And…I just couldn’t.”
I stepped away from the wall and held my hand up. There was something like fury coursing through my veins. If he’d come to me when it first happened, I would have been there as a friend. I wouldn’t have expected anything. But this…this was duplicitous. He’d held it back on purpose. He’d made me suffer those weeks, wondering what the hell had happened with us. And he was only telling me now because he had to.
“Lark,” he muttered.
“I think you still need time to figure this all out.”
“That’s not what—”
“No,” I said, cutting him off. “I don’t want to be used by you to figure out your problems. I won’t ever be that girl. And you shouldn’t treat me that way.”
“That isn’t what I meant.”
“Yeah, well, that’s how it feels.”
Then I took a deep breath and walked away.
It wasn’t easy. I wanted Sam to tell me how he was wrong, how he should have told me, and how we could fix this. But I didn’t want to hear it. Not tonight. Not after being made to feel like I was the crazy one the last couple of weeks. Or that I was the bad guy, somehow making him jealous when he was perfectly single and couldn’t even let me know.
I was done playing games.
21
Lark
I was still mad the next day.
And the day after that.
And the day after that.
Anyone who knew me could probably see that I wasn’t myself. I was just as dedicated, just as on top of things. But there was a fury to my pace. A lack of calm that I’d always exuded, even when I was at my highest anxiety point.
Demi nodded in front of me. “Got it. I will get right on that.”
“Great. Thanks.”
“Hey, Lark, is everything all right?”
“Peachy,” I said with no enthusiasm as I continued to type away on my computer.
“You seem a little…intense.”
“Aren’t I always?”
“Well, yeah. And I mean, you have an crazy job. I just wanted to check on you.”
I managed a smile that was a bit more like baring my teeth. “I’m fine. Thanks, Demi.”
It was a dismissal, and I saw her take it with a worried expression on her face. I continued my assault on my keyboard before finally finishing off the memo I needed to send out. I sighed heavily and leaned back in my chair. What the hell was wrong with me? I needed to figure out how to let this go. At least, to let it go at work.
The problem was…I hadn’t even told English.
She was living with me, seeing my anxiety-ridden madness, and I couldn’t bring myself to tell her she was right. She’d been right all along. Sam was a bad idea. And if I kept this up, then he’d break my heart like he had the first time.
“Lark,” Aspen said on the intercom. “Call for you on line one.”
“Did they say who it was?”
“Danny Park? Does that sound familiar?”
In fact, it did.
I’d completely forgotten that I’d given him my number. I’d been a bit preoccupied with what had happened after I left the party.
“I got it,” I told Aspen and then pressed the button for line one. “Lark St. Vincent speaking.”
“Lark,” Danny said with his cool, crisp voice. “It’s Danny…from the party last weekend.”
“Right. It’s good to hear from you.” Is it?
“I tried to get your cell, but it kept going to voicemail, and then the voicemail was full.”
I hit myself in the forehead. I’d forgotten about that. I avoided telemarketer calls like the plague and never answered a number I didn’t recognize. I’d been telling myself that they’d leave a voicemail if it was important. Except…he hadn’t been able to.
“Sorry about that. How did you track down my office number?”
“You mentioned that you worked for the mayoral campaign. So, I just called and asked for you. They redirected me to your office.”
Oh. Obviously.
“Makes sense. I hate to cut this short, but I am actually heading into a meeting.”
“Oh, yeah. No problem. How about I call you tonight, and we can talk?”
“Sure.”
I could practically feel his smile through the phone. “Great! Well, if you get a call from a 212 number, that’s me.”
“Got it. I’ll make sure to answer this time,” I said with a breathy laugh.
“Looking forward to it.”
We said our good-byes, and then I hung up.
Except…I had no pressing meeting. I’d just been flushed and flustered that he’d managed to track me down after I didn’t answer. I pulled out my cell and scrolled through the list of missed calls. There did in fact seem to be a handful of missed calls from the same 212 number. I quickly cleared out my voicemail and made a mental note to talk to English about this later. I had a feeling I knew what she’d say. But I needed to lay it all out there.
By the time eight rolled around, I was exhausted and ready to head out. Aspen had left two hours ago on some kind of errand. I stepped out of my office and almost made it out of the building when I saw him.
“Hey,” Sam said, appearing out of the shadows.
I took a deep breath and let it out. “Hi.”
“Can we talk?”